A good distraction
Description
There’s No Such Thing as a “Good” or “Bad” Marriage
A Married Man Needs Only 3 Things From His Wife
I Am Not The Caretaker of My Marriage
10 Guilty Pleasures For Couples
The Man Behind How I Have It All
14 Ways Having Kids Affects Your Relationship
Love Rewards the Brave
The Book That Changed the Way I Look at Love
When Divorce Runs in the Family
The Silence That Can Save Your Relationship
Is It Ever OK to Lie to Your Spouse?
The day after my first date with the adorable Teen Crush*, he texted that he had a wonderful night, and was "really" looking forward to seeing me again. Very giddy-making indeed! After a few text exchanges, we set up a date for this weekend. I'm smiling now just thinking about him.
After what felt like an interminable wait, (a few days after our last date) I got a typically understated e-mail from UN. In the past, I think it's been about 50/50 in terms of who's initiated contact -- this time, I decided that it would be him, as a way of trying to gauge his interest. I shocked myself with my self-restraint -- either I'm getting stronger, OR I'm finding it easier now that there's another potential interest in the picture. So now we're in planning limbo, as we try to sort out our schedules and figure out when we can get together. I'm still planning to have "the talk"!
Please note: I do NOT have a crush on a teenager! See previous post for blog name explanation.
first date with Teen Crush:
Date #103: Teen Crush
When I was about 12 or 13 years old, I had my first crush ever, the son of some new friends of my parents, and he was just charming and adorable. Tonight’s date wasn’t actually that boy (imagine if he had turned up!) but looked enough like him that I did a double-take when we first met.
Some strolling, some wine – plenty to talk about, and I think I sensed a connection. At the end of the date, he told me he’d had a really nice time, and hoped we could get together again soon. Only a few hours together, and I sensed a level of warmth that I don’t think I’ve ever felt with UN. I know – it’s wrong to compare – but it’s unavoidable.
A Married Man Needs Only 3 Things From His Wife
I Am Not The Caretaker of My Marriage
10 Guilty Pleasures For Couples
The Man Behind How I Have It All
14 Ways Having Kids Affects Your Relationship
Love Rewards the Brave
The Book That Changed the Way I Look at Love
When Divorce Runs in the Family
The Silence That Can Save Your Relationship
Is It Ever OK to Lie to Your Spouse?
The day after my first date with the adorable Teen Crush*, he texted that he had a wonderful night, and was "really" looking forward to seeing me again. Very giddy-making indeed! After a few text exchanges, we set up a date for this weekend. I'm smiling now just thinking about him.
After what felt like an interminable wait, (a few days after our last date) I got a typically understated e-mail from UN. In the past, I think it's been about 50/50 in terms of who's initiated contact -- this time, I decided that it would be him, as a way of trying to gauge his interest. I shocked myself with my self-restraint -- either I'm getting stronger, OR I'm finding it easier now that there's another potential interest in the picture. So now we're in planning limbo, as we try to sort out our schedules and figure out when we can get together. I'm still planning to have "the talk"!
Please note: I do NOT have a crush on a teenager! See previous post for blog name explanation.
first date with Teen Crush:
Date #103: Teen Crush
When I was about 12 or 13 years old, I had my first crush ever, the son of some new friends of my parents, and he was just charming and adorable. Tonight’s date wasn’t actually that boy (imagine if he had turned up!) but looked enough like him that I did a double-take when we first met.
Some strolling, some wine – plenty to talk about, and I think I sensed a connection. At the end of the date, he told me he’d had a really nice time, and hoped we could get together again soon. Only a few hours together, and I sensed a level of warmth that I don’t think I’ve ever felt with UN. I know – it’s wrong to compare – but it’s unavoidable.
Début de l'événement
10.04.2024
Fin de l'événement
10.04.2024
alpha/dominant men
Description
When Do You Walk Away
It Is All Facebook’s Fault…
How To Be Single at Your 10 Year Reunion
Are One Night Stands Bad?
The Truth About Free Dating Sites
Writing Good Loveawake.com Emails
Taking it Slow vs Taking it Nowhere
26 Things I’ve Learned About Dating
Being Selfish in A Relationship
Signs of a Douchebag
Rules for a Skype Date
(So whenever a feminist tries to argue against women wanting alpha/dominant men by referring to studies where both women and men show preferences for kind men, throw this study in their face. Also can be used to argue against feminists who say that there is no difference in men and women’s attraction to kindness in their partners.)
on March 30, 2012 at 2:26 pm | Reply(R)Evoluzione.
Epic science comment. It looks like you’ve been reading Eric Barker.
on March 30, 2012 at 7:56 am | ReplyRex
When I ignore a girl after a few days, she starts acting really bitchy, and then clingy, saying things like “If you don’t want to see me just tell me. You can tell me, its cool”. Any ideas of a response?
I said just, “Nah, you’re cool”. But then she just started acting awkward.
on March 30, 2012 at 2:35 pm | ReplyHolden Caulfield
Bring da movies.
on March 30, 2012 at 11:36 am | ReplyAnonymous
Of course everyone here has seen the Huffington Post article by the 34 year old Natasha Scripture in New York who can’t find a good man (while trashing a 51 year old she was set up on a date with by a matchmaker for having had a slight speech impediment, for wearing bell bottom jeans on the date and for having a career as only a science textbook writer).
A lot of manosphere denizens are in the comment section which is already close to 1600 comments.
It Is All Facebook’s Fault…
How To Be Single at Your 10 Year Reunion
Are One Night Stands Bad?
The Truth About Free Dating Sites
Writing Good Loveawake.com Emails
Taking it Slow vs Taking it Nowhere
26 Things I’ve Learned About Dating
Being Selfish in A Relationship
Signs of a Douchebag
Rules for a Skype Date
(So whenever a feminist tries to argue against women wanting alpha/dominant men by referring to studies where both women and men show preferences for kind men, throw this study in their face. Also can be used to argue against feminists who say that there is no difference in men and women’s attraction to kindness in their partners.)
on March 30, 2012 at 2:26 pm | Reply(R)Evoluzione.
Epic science comment. It looks like you’ve been reading Eric Barker.
on March 30, 2012 at 7:56 am | ReplyRex
When I ignore a girl after a few days, she starts acting really bitchy, and then clingy, saying things like “If you don’t want to see me just tell me. You can tell me, its cool”. Any ideas of a response?
I said just, “Nah, you’re cool”. But then she just started acting awkward.
on March 30, 2012 at 2:35 pm | ReplyHolden Caulfield
Bring da movies.
on March 30, 2012 at 11:36 am | ReplyAnonymous
Of course everyone here has seen the Huffington Post article by the 34 year old Natasha Scripture in New York who can’t find a good man (while trashing a 51 year old she was set up on a date with by a matchmaker for having had a slight speech impediment, for wearing bell bottom jeans on the date and for having a career as only a science textbook writer).
A lot of manosphere denizens are in the comment section which is already close to 1600 comments.
Début de l'événement
22.01.2022
Fin de l'événement
22.01.2022
A Vampire Sequel
Description
Surviving a Long-Term Affair and Saving a Marriage
Transforming Communication and Parenting in a Troubled Marriage
Healing a Marriage by Confronting Insecurities and Building Trust
Religious Differences and Strengthening Marriage Bonds
The Affection Gap: Bridging Emotional Distance in a Long-Term Marriage
Workplace Dating Detours
When Blind Dates Go Wrong
Comfort Vs. Fulfillment In Modern Dating
Demanding Respect and Openness in a Relationship
Get Outta My Dating Pool
Seeking Clarity and Connection in Dating
Gym Flirting 101
Finding Balance in Love After Loss
Earlier today I posted a blog called “Emotional Vampires” and despite the word “vampires” in the title and most people’s aversion to the vampire craze…it got great hits and even better comments! I was moved to continue exploring this topic when I realized that I wasn’t the only one who was plagued by people who drain me.
Sometimes I think that it is my lot in life to be that person that everyone goes to when they are having a rough time. It’s not their fault, and I can’t blame them, it’s kind of how I market myself. Not consciously, but all the same, it’s the way I am. I am that caring, understanding, constant ear and shoulder that everyone knows can’t turn them away. I have only recently learned that confrontation and disagreement is not a bad thing. People are used to me taking their shit so they never think twice about laying all their crap at my feet and asking me to fix it. I have always allowed it, so I can’t blame them when they continue to do it.
I was a psychology major in college. I have the degree hanging above my desk and everything, really I do. People fascinate me, they always have. The way people think, interact, engage one another, behave, etc…it’s all so damn interesting to me. I love listening to people share with me and then trying to determine the deeper and baser emotions and contributing issues. I know it’s wrong, but dissecting the situation is fun for me.
I won’t even hide the fact that I judge people. I know it’s not politically correct or acceptable to admit that, but I do. I listen to their problems and then I judge them. I will never betray a confidence. I do not gossip. But, in my head, in my own thoughts I do judge people by what they reveal to me. I know some people will think that this makes me a horrible person but I really do think that all people do this. If you are being honest with yourself, you do form judgments about a person based on their behaviors, interactions with others, and their personality. It’s just a fact of life.
I will also freely admit that because of my history with depression I can sometimes be that emotional vampire that feeds on other people. I don’t want anyone to think that I am professing to be above this. While I often bottle up and deal with issues on my own, try to psychoanalyze myself, I will occasionally need to have an all out bitch fest and seriously bring down the mood. I always feel guilty about this afterwards and apologize with a bottle of wine…so my friends usually don’t mind. J The point here is, while I talk about the people that make me nuts…realize that I am sometimes that exact person. As George stated…the key here is sometimes.
So, as I read through the comments to my original post I realized that in one way or another everyone has had to deal with these draining, emotional vampires. I think it’s important to be realistic about relationships. Not everyone can be sunshine and rainbows all of the time. I don’t expect them to be. I don’t need you to blow smoke up my ass either. It’s okay to be real. It is okay to need advice, reassurance, and support. I have no problems being that person for you; I love being that person for you.
I do take issue with the people who assume you have nothing better to do with your time than listen to a 2 hour rant about their hideous fortune, bad job, mean boss, ungrateful family, distant boyfriend, yadda, yadda, yadda. If you need to vent, do it, but give me the condensed version and for the love of all things sacred, acknowledge that you know you are bitching and have the good graces to thank me for listening to you drone on. I never vent to people without thanking them for allowing me to get it off my chest and asking them in return how they are holding up and giving them the chance to do the same thing right back. It’s common freaking courtesy. Reciprocate, people!
If you are down in the dumps and aware that you are being extra negative then own up to it; don’t act as though there is nothing wrong. I have no problem if you are a bit blue, it happens, but have the decency to say to your friend/significant other, “Hey, I know that I haven’t been myself lately. I am working through it and really appreciate your patience and understanding. If it gets to be too much for you please let me know so we can talk about it.”
It can be hard to admit that you aren’t the happy go lucky person you wish you could be but it’s important to let the people you love know you appreciate their support. It wasn’t easy for me to realize this. For a long time I thought that if they were my friend they would accept that I was having a hard time regulating my medicine and mood but nobody has to put up with my shit. I realized the stress that my moods put on my relationships and realized that thanks were necessary so that they knew I saw what I was putting them through and appreciated it. I am so blessed that I found writing, journaling, crafting, and laughing was much better medicine than the drugs I was taking and have been able to regulate my moods on my own for about 8 years now. It wasn’t always this easy though. So trust that I understand when you have a rough time, I am not going to walk away, but I do ask that you be aware of your mood and how it affects other people.
I have never enjoyed being the center of attention. I enjoy getting a good laugh from a crowd. I enjoy being active in a conversation and having my voice be heard but I don’t need to be the loudest, most circulated, and talked about person in the room. I am happy to be a part of it all and that’s enough. I know for some people this isn’t enough though. There are certain people that “get off”, for lack of a better word, on being in the middle of it all and having all that attention. To them I have this piece of advice…and yes I know you didn’t ask for it, but here it is.
It’s fine to want to be heard and occasionally be the center of attention. Nobody is trying to say that’s wrong but do be aware of how often this is the case. It’s important when you are in social situations to gauge how much you are speaking and how much you are listening; to be aware of listening versus active listening. The difference there is that when you listen you vaguely hear what somebody is saying but only enough to register what you want to say in response. When you actively listen to somebody you hear, acknowledge, and process their comments. It is important that you give that person your full attention. If you want others to respect you enough to listen when you speak then do the same for them, which means no cell phones, no checking emails, texting, or looking around the room at everyone but the person speaking.
As I have said, I am nowhere near perfect when it comes to being needy sometimes and being moody at others. I don’t expect perfection in my friends. I do expect you to try for a balance, to acknowledge your flaws (as I have mine) and to be open to trying to solve your emotional vampire ways. If it starts to be an issue in a relationship I am having I will not hesitate to tell somebody, “I know that you have been having a hard time lately and I want to be supportive but I need to tell you that I’m having a hard time right now. I find myself listening less actively because I feel like you aren’t reciprocating and I am withdrawing because of it.” I don’t want to end up resenting or ending friendships, so I do ask of my friends that they be open to talks like that. I in return promise to always be open to them as well.
I would hate to think that I was bringing somebody down or being anything less than a stellar friend so I do ask that friends come to me before letting emotions fester. I have had a lot of success with this but it does require a lot of trust and understanding between the two people involved. It’s not always easy to accept criticism about yourself and it’s often even more terrifying to give it to somebody else and risk hurting feelings but I do think it’s essential to some relationships. There are friendships I have never had to worry about doing this in, but if need be I have no qualms about opening up a line of conversation about boundaries and balance.
This is a whole lot of my own personal opinions and in no way are they set rules, but they do work for me…so hey…they may work for you as well. In the end it comes down to talking with the person versus ending a friendship, and while it is sometimes necessary to end the relationship, I usually prefer to avoid that.
Transforming Communication and Parenting in a Troubled Marriage
Healing a Marriage by Confronting Insecurities and Building Trust
Religious Differences and Strengthening Marriage Bonds
The Affection Gap: Bridging Emotional Distance in a Long-Term Marriage
Workplace Dating Detours
When Blind Dates Go Wrong
Comfort Vs. Fulfillment In Modern Dating
Demanding Respect and Openness in a Relationship
Get Outta My Dating Pool
Seeking Clarity and Connection in Dating
Gym Flirting 101
Finding Balance in Love After Loss
Earlier today I posted a blog called “Emotional Vampires” and despite the word “vampires” in the title and most people’s aversion to the vampire craze…it got great hits and even better comments! I was moved to continue exploring this topic when I realized that I wasn’t the only one who was plagued by people who drain me.
Sometimes I think that it is my lot in life to be that person that everyone goes to when they are having a rough time. It’s not their fault, and I can’t blame them, it’s kind of how I market myself. Not consciously, but all the same, it’s the way I am. I am that caring, understanding, constant ear and shoulder that everyone knows can’t turn them away. I have only recently learned that confrontation and disagreement is not a bad thing. People are used to me taking their shit so they never think twice about laying all their crap at my feet and asking me to fix it. I have always allowed it, so I can’t blame them when they continue to do it.
I was a psychology major in college. I have the degree hanging above my desk and everything, really I do. People fascinate me, they always have. The way people think, interact, engage one another, behave, etc…it’s all so damn interesting to me. I love listening to people share with me and then trying to determine the deeper and baser emotions and contributing issues. I know it’s wrong, but dissecting the situation is fun for me.
I won’t even hide the fact that I judge people. I know it’s not politically correct or acceptable to admit that, but I do. I listen to their problems and then I judge them. I will never betray a confidence. I do not gossip. But, in my head, in my own thoughts I do judge people by what they reveal to me. I know some people will think that this makes me a horrible person but I really do think that all people do this. If you are being honest with yourself, you do form judgments about a person based on their behaviors, interactions with others, and their personality. It’s just a fact of life.
I will also freely admit that because of my history with depression I can sometimes be that emotional vampire that feeds on other people. I don’t want anyone to think that I am professing to be above this. While I often bottle up and deal with issues on my own, try to psychoanalyze myself, I will occasionally need to have an all out bitch fest and seriously bring down the mood. I always feel guilty about this afterwards and apologize with a bottle of wine…so my friends usually don’t mind. J The point here is, while I talk about the people that make me nuts…realize that I am sometimes that exact person. As George stated…the key here is sometimes.
So, as I read through the comments to my original post I realized that in one way or another everyone has had to deal with these draining, emotional vampires. I think it’s important to be realistic about relationships. Not everyone can be sunshine and rainbows all of the time. I don’t expect them to be. I don’t need you to blow smoke up my ass either. It’s okay to be real. It is okay to need advice, reassurance, and support. I have no problems being that person for you; I love being that person for you.
I do take issue with the people who assume you have nothing better to do with your time than listen to a 2 hour rant about their hideous fortune, bad job, mean boss, ungrateful family, distant boyfriend, yadda, yadda, yadda. If you need to vent, do it, but give me the condensed version and for the love of all things sacred, acknowledge that you know you are bitching and have the good graces to thank me for listening to you drone on. I never vent to people without thanking them for allowing me to get it off my chest and asking them in return how they are holding up and giving them the chance to do the same thing right back. It’s common freaking courtesy. Reciprocate, people!
If you are down in the dumps and aware that you are being extra negative then own up to it; don’t act as though there is nothing wrong. I have no problem if you are a bit blue, it happens, but have the decency to say to your friend/significant other, “Hey, I know that I haven’t been myself lately. I am working through it and really appreciate your patience and understanding. If it gets to be too much for you please let me know so we can talk about it.”
It can be hard to admit that you aren’t the happy go lucky person you wish you could be but it’s important to let the people you love know you appreciate their support. It wasn’t easy for me to realize this. For a long time I thought that if they were my friend they would accept that I was having a hard time regulating my medicine and mood but nobody has to put up with my shit. I realized the stress that my moods put on my relationships and realized that thanks were necessary so that they knew I saw what I was putting them through and appreciated it. I am so blessed that I found writing, journaling, crafting, and laughing was much better medicine than the drugs I was taking and have been able to regulate my moods on my own for about 8 years now. It wasn’t always this easy though. So trust that I understand when you have a rough time, I am not going to walk away, but I do ask that you be aware of your mood and how it affects other people.
I have never enjoyed being the center of attention. I enjoy getting a good laugh from a crowd. I enjoy being active in a conversation and having my voice be heard but I don’t need to be the loudest, most circulated, and talked about person in the room. I am happy to be a part of it all and that’s enough. I know for some people this isn’t enough though. There are certain people that “get off”, for lack of a better word, on being in the middle of it all and having all that attention. To them I have this piece of advice…and yes I know you didn’t ask for it, but here it is.
It’s fine to want to be heard and occasionally be the center of attention. Nobody is trying to say that’s wrong but do be aware of how often this is the case. It’s important when you are in social situations to gauge how much you are speaking and how much you are listening; to be aware of listening versus active listening. The difference there is that when you listen you vaguely hear what somebody is saying but only enough to register what you want to say in response. When you actively listen to somebody you hear, acknowledge, and process their comments. It is important that you give that person your full attention. If you want others to respect you enough to listen when you speak then do the same for them, which means no cell phones, no checking emails, texting, or looking around the room at everyone but the person speaking.
As I have said, I am nowhere near perfect when it comes to being needy sometimes and being moody at others. I don’t expect perfection in my friends. I do expect you to try for a balance, to acknowledge your flaws (as I have mine) and to be open to trying to solve your emotional vampire ways. If it starts to be an issue in a relationship I am having I will not hesitate to tell somebody, “I know that you have been having a hard time lately and I want to be supportive but I need to tell you that I’m having a hard time right now. I find myself listening less actively because I feel like you aren’t reciprocating and I am withdrawing because of it.” I don’t want to end up resenting or ending friendships, so I do ask of my friends that they be open to talks like that. I in return promise to always be open to them as well.
I would hate to think that I was bringing somebody down or being anything less than a stellar friend so I do ask that friends come to me before letting emotions fester. I have had a lot of success with this but it does require a lot of trust and understanding between the two people involved. It’s not always easy to accept criticism about yourself and it’s often even more terrifying to give it to somebody else and risk hurting feelings but I do think it’s essential to some relationships. There are friendships I have never had to worry about doing this in, but if need be I have no qualms about opening up a line of conversation about boundaries and balance.
This is a whole lot of my own personal opinions and in no way are they set rules, but they do work for me…so hey…they may work for you as well. In the end it comes down to talking with the person versus ending a friendship, and while it is sometimes necessary to end the relationship, I usually prefer to avoid that.
Début de l'événement
24.03.2022
Fin de l'événement
24.03.2022
Being Nice Doesn't Have to Kill Your Game: A Dating Survival Guide
Description
Dating Double Standards…And How They All Even Out
No Baby No! 7 Ways to Stall A Breakup
How To Break Up With Someone With Style And Grace
Five Things Guys Can Be Pretty Gay About
Four Reasons Why “Funny” Girls Finish Last
The Smart Guide To 21st Century Chivalry
What Friendship Means To Me
Girl! Forget a Sponsor. Date A Handyman!
Things I Learned While in NYC Dating Live Event
705miss t-lee April 28, 2011 at 12:02 pm
I’m really liking this new Liz. :)
Reply
706Yeah...So April 28, 2011 at 12:24 pm
Oh so it’s not just me? I was thinking I missed something during my 4-year (read: week) stint away.
Reply
707SmartFoxGirl April 28, 2011 at 12:48 pm
Kay? I’ve been peeping Liz. She’s becoming more and more goon-like everyday. wipes tear…it’s beautiful.
Reply
708Liz April 28, 2011 at 12:59 pm
I couldn’t have done it without you SFG!
rocks back and foaf like Miss Sofia
Cuz when I seent you, you showed me dat dey is a Goon Gawd!
Reply
709SmartFoxGirl April 28, 2011 at 2:13 pm
LMAO!!
Reply
710miss t-lee April 28, 2011 at 2:21 pm
ain’t it though??? It’s like sending your child off to kindergarten.
Reply
711Liz April 28, 2011 at 12:57 pm
LOL. Ahh. I was always like this! i just been locked up like Miss Sofia.
fills up plate like a newly free Miss Sofia
Too much racket goin on around here in dis blog, pass me them peas here!
Reply
No Baby No! 7 Ways to Stall A Breakup
How To Break Up With Someone With Style And Grace
Five Things Guys Can Be Pretty Gay About
Four Reasons Why “Funny” Girls Finish Last
The Smart Guide To 21st Century Chivalry
What Friendship Means To Me
Girl! Forget a Sponsor. Date A Handyman!
Things I Learned While in NYC Dating Live Event
705miss t-lee April 28, 2011 at 12:02 pm
I’m really liking this new Liz. :)
Reply
706Yeah...So April 28, 2011 at 12:24 pm
Oh so it’s not just me? I was thinking I missed something during my 4-year (read: week) stint away.
Reply
707SmartFoxGirl April 28, 2011 at 12:48 pm
Kay? I’ve been peeping Liz. She’s becoming more and more goon-like everyday. wipes tear…it’s beautiful.
Reply
708Liz April 28, 2011 at 12:59 pm
I couldn’t have done it without you SFG!
rocks back and foaf like Miss Sofia
Cuz when I seent you, you showed me dat dey is a Goon Gawd!
Reply
709SmartFoxGirl April 28, 2011 at 2:13 pm
LMAO!!
Reply
710miss t-lee April 28, 2011 at 2:21 pm
ain’t it though??? It’s like sending your child off to kindergarten.
Reply
711Liz April 28, 2011 at 12:57 pm
LOL. Ahh. I was always like this! i just been locked up like Miss Sofia.
fills up plate like a newly free Miss Sofia
Too much racket goin on around here in dis blog, pass me them peas here!
Reply
Début de l'événement
03.10.2022
Fin de l'événement
03.10.2022
Breaking Up with Grace: Online Dating Rules for the Perfect Goodbye
Description
Paranoia and Relationships: How Far Is Too Far?
Love Without A Limit?!
I Got That White Girl: The Hampton Edition.
Behind the Macho Mask
Witty Wisdom For Dating Mating And Crime-Fighting
The Cruelest Things Women Consistently Do To Men
Dating Do’s And Dont’s For “Nice” Guys And Girls
Closure And The Big Owe.
The Most Overrated Things About New York City
But in all this wisdom naturally acquired, what about my newly discovered drunken English skills? Well, yesterday was midterms for me and I’m sorry to say but I failed. I did pretty well in pronunciation I think. No spit, no mumbling, not too many blanks looking for words. But the problem is this: I was so focused on it that I forgot the other half of the evaluation, content. I doubt that anyone has been impressed to know about killdeers, the Mono Lake or even how having Rock Band should be in the top 10 qualities for a guy. [...]
Drunken english 101 - midterm report | (Entre 2) Says:
January 16th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
[...] But in all this wisdom naturally acquired, what about my newly discovered drunken English skills? Well, yesterday was midterms for me and I’m sorry to say but I failed. I did pretty well in pronunciation I think. No spit, no mumbling, not too many blanks looking for words. But the problem is this: I was so focused on it that I forgot the other half of the evaluation, content. I doubt that anyone has been impressed to know about killdeers, the Mono Lake or even how having Rock Band should be in the top 10 qualities for a guy. [...]
hunter Says:
March 21st, 2009 at 1:59 am
“The Notebook” is a movie out of Hollywood where life is sometimes portrayed how it should be. Given, that, over 65% of the population is/or in need of therapy sessions, the average man cannot afford to be constantly arguing and making up. Most likely, he grew up hearing his parents complain/argue at each other(this is why he sits in therapy sessions) and the last thing he wants to do is come home and argue with the woman he is in love with. Men are strong physically, but a woman can be super strong on the inside.
Hurt your feelings? Are you sure you want a man/husband that hurts your feelings?..That may be fun for a little while…
hunter Says:
March 22nd, 2009 at 10:48 pm
There is a “notebook” type of man out there, it is just that, I think, in a much smaller pool of single men.
Paul Says:
August 21st, 2009 at 8:20 am
It’s a freaking movie people. Get out of your fantasy world and welcome yourselves back to reality. If you want that kind of love, become an actor/actress because you’re not going to find it in the real world. It’s scripted.
MidoriLei Says:
August 21st, 2009 at 8:39 am
Love Without A Limit?!
I Got That White Girl: The Hampton Edition.
Behind the Macho Mask
Witty Wisdom For Dating Mating And Crime-Fighting
The Cruelest Things Women Consistently Do To Men
Dating Do’s And Dont’s For “Nice” Guys And Girls
Closure And The Big Owe.
The Most Overrated Things About New York City
But in all this wisdom naturally acquired, what about my newly discovered drunken English skills? Well, yesterday was midterms for me and I’m sorry to say but I failed. I did pretty well in pronunciation I think. No spit, no mumbling, not too many blanks looking for words. But the problem is this: I was so focused on it that I forgot the other half of the evaluation, content. I doubt that anyone has been impressed to know about killdeers, the Mono Lake or even how having Rock Band should be in the top 10 qualities for a guy. [...]
Drunken english 101 - midterm report | (Entre 2) Says:
January 16th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
[...] But in all this wisdom naturally acquired, what about my newly discovered drunken English skills? Well, yesterday was midterms for me and I’m sorry to say but I failed. I did pretty well in pronunciation I think. No spit, no mumbling, not too many blanks looking for words. But the problem is this: I was so focused on it that I forgot the other half of the evaluation, content. I doubt that anyone has been impressed to know about killdeers, the Mono Lake or even how having Rock Band should be in the top 10 qualities for a guy. [...]
hunter Says:
March 21st, 2009 at 1:59 am
“The Notebook” is a movie out of Hollywood where life is sometimes portrayed how it should be. Given, that, over 65% of the population is/or in need of therapy sessions, the average man cannot afford to be constantly arguing and making up. Most likely, he grew up hearing his parents complain/argue at each other(this is why he sits in therapy sessions) and the last thing he wants to do is come home and argue with the woman he is in love with. Men are strong physically, but a woman can be super strong on the inside.
Hurt your feelings? Are you sure you want a man/husband that hurts your feelings?..That may be fun for a little while…
hunter Says:
March 22nd, 2009 at 10:48 pm
There is a “notebook” type of man out there, it is just that, I think, in a much smaller pool of single men.
Paul Says:
August 21st, 2009 at 8:20 am
It’s a freaking movie people. Get out of your fantasy world and welcome yourselves back to reality. If you want that kind of love, become an actor/actress because you’re not going to find it in the real world. It’s scripted.
MidoriLei Says:
August 21st, 2009 at 8:39 am
Début de l'événement
16.10.2022
Fin de l'événement
16.10.2022
Carte mentale
Description
Travail collectif sur une carte mentale pour représenter le MOOC en trois dimensions
Début de l'événement
14.06.2023 - 16:00
Fin de l'événement
14.06.2023 - 19:30
Co-construction
Début de l'événement
18.07.2023 - 16:00
Fin de l'événement
18.07.2023 - 19:30
Comparing Dates to Ex’s
Description
An Ode to Emily
More Than Meets The Eyes
Should I Tell Her How I Feel?
The Play Date
Dogs, Cats, and the Art of Dating: Lessons from the Cab Ride
The Colorado Connection That Could Never Be
When Love Feels Like a DIY Project: The Fixer-Upper Dilemma
Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others
Should You Settle?
Is There Hope For The Gender Gap?
Cheating is a Cop Out
The Dance of Second Chances
So what do you think about this one? Whenever you date someone new, do you find yourself comparing them to previous ex’s?
Me, I think it’s kind of inevitable and even, maybe, natural? It doesn’t have to be comparing the new girl to a specific ex, but perhaps specific traits of all your ex’s.
Maybe one of your ex’s used to always know the right thing to say when you’re down, and another used to love exploring just like you did, and a third used to surprise you with little thoughts & things when you least expected them. You know what I’m talking about. Those great little things that made those past relationships so much fun while you were in them.
But of course, they all ended for a reason. One of your ex’s always had something negative to say, another always seemed too busy or too aloof, and another was just too high maintenance.
All of these traits become benchmarks for your next relationship. Either consciously or unconsciously, they’ve molded your expectations and standards. They’ve become what you look for or what you avoid. In effect, they form your basis of comparison.
At least for me, that’s how it is. Seems to come kind of naturally and unconsciously too.
How about you? Do you find yourself comparing your dates to ex’s?
More Than Meets The Eyes
Should I Tell Her How I Feel?
The Play Date
Dogs, Cats, and the Art of Dating: Lessons from the Cab Ride
The Colorado Connection That Could Never Be
When Love Feels Like a DIY Project: The Fixer-Upper Dilemma
Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others
Should You Settle?
Is There Hope For The Gender Gap?
Cheating is a Cop Out
The Dance of Second Chances
So what do you think about this one? Whenever you date someone new, do you find yourself comparing them to previous ex’s?
Me, I think it’s kind of inevitable and even, maybe, natural? It doesn’t have to be comparing the new girl to a specific ex, but perhaps specific traits of all your ex’s.
Maybe one of your ex’s used to always know the right thing to say when you’re down, and another used to love exploring just like you did, and a third used to surprise you with little thoughts & things when you least expected them. You know what I’m talking about. Those great little things that made those past relationships so much fun while you were in them.
But of course, they all ended for a reason. One of your ex’s always had something negative to say, another always seemed too busy or too aloof, and another was just too high maintenance.
All of these traits become benchmarks for your next relationship. Either consciously or unconsciously, they’ve molded your expectations and standards. They’ve become what you look for or what you avoid. In effect, they form your basis of comparison.
At least for me, that’s how it is. Seems to come kind of naturally and unconsciously too.
How about you? Do you find yourself comparing your dates to ex’s?
Début de l'événement
08.01.2023
Fin de l'événement
08.01.2023
Confident & Funny: The Proven Path to Attracting Women
Description
3 Common Relationship Mistakes Women Make
Love Awkwardness and Regret: The Day I Walked Away
Friend Zoned and Heartbroken: Lessons from an Imaginary Romance
What Every Woman Should Know About a Man’s Code of Honor
How to Handle Breakups Without Questioning
Attracting Women with Confidence and Humor
Keep Your Woman Secure Without Fighting
Men Play Dating Games Too
Armageddon was many things, terrible or not.
It was the loudest movie ever made.
It let Affleck stretch his acting chops and cry without Matt Damon by his side, leading to such great performances as his in “Paycheck”.
Bear pulled down tiger-striped bikini briefs and did a lil dance on top of a gurney, then cried like a baby during psychological testing. What is it with these big arse dudes being mildy (if not FLAMBOYANTLY) homo in movies?
That Russian Guy cracks me up in every movie he’s in, and it’s ALWAYS the same character… he’s the Devil, with a russian accent… He’s a Ex Dealer… with a russian accent. i love it.
Reply
V Renee {June 22nd, 2009 at 9:31 am}
@Shawnta`,
I loved Armageddon too. It was the song that made me love it - Don’t Want to Miss a Thing
Reply
Nicki Sunshine {June 22nd, 2009 at 10:29 am}
@V Renee, Me too!
Reply
Cheekie {June 22nd, 2009 at 11:37 am}
@V Renee,
I love Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.
Love Awkwardness and Regret: The Day I Walked Away
Friend Zoned and Heartbroken: Lessons from an Imaginary Romance
What Every Woman Should Know About a Man’s Code of Honor
How to Handle Breakups Without Questioning
Attracting Women with Confidence and Humor
Keep Your Woman Secure Without Fighting
Men Play Dating Games Too
Armageddon was many things, terrible or not.
It was the loudest movie ever made.
It let Affleck stretch his acting chops and cry without Matt Damon by his side, leading to such great performances as his in “Paycheck”.
Bear pulled down tiger-striped bikini briefs and did a lil dance on top of a gurney, then cried like a baby during psychological testing. What is it with these big arse dudes being mildy (if not FLAMBOYANTLY) homo in movies?
That Russian Guy cracks me up in every movie he’s in, and it’s ALWAYS the same character… he’s the Devil, with a russian accent… He’s a Ex Dealer… with a russian accent. i love it.
Reply
V Renee {June 22nd, 2009 at 9:31 am}
@Shawnta`,
I loved Armageddon too. It was the song that made me love it - Don’t Want to Miss a Thing
Reply
Nicki Sunshine {June 22nd, 2009 at 10:29 am}
@V Renee, Me too!
Reply
Cheekie {June 22nd, 2009 at 11:37 am}
@V Renee,
I love Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.
Début de l'événement
22.10.2022
Fin de l'événement
22.10.2022
Ending It Gracefully: How to Handle a Breakup With Care
Description
Why Sharing Passwords With Your Partner
How To Tell If A Man Is Interested In You
Do’s and Don’ts for a Successful Break-Up
The Dating With EXpectation Factor
Dating Real Test Is in the Wallet
How To Know That Your Relationship Is In Trouble
When Potential Becomes a Relationship Killer
The Unspoken Truths About Blame in Relationships
How Technology is Killing the Romance
Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 4
melmoth July 24, 2014 at 18:10
Maaldweb
You make a great point. Liberals go with image, conservatives stick with logic. That’s why Hollywood etc is their domain. And for all the talk of liberals being the more literate party, then look at how much more sales are generated by conservative authors. A liberal will take his goatee and battered copy of ‘The Stranger’ to cafe after cafe. It’s all to capture an image and has nothing to do with actual reading. Look at the recent uproar over the Taliban girl holding a rifle and the Koran juxtaposed with the yankee holding her bible and a rifle. Liberals rejoiced. “Same! Same! Same!” The fact that the books held different beliefs and that the reason for being armed was diametric (murder of innocents vs. self-defense) did not matter at all. HOW IS IT THE SAME IF THEY ARE HOLDING A DIFFERENT BOOK? The image was the same and that is as deep as it goes for an image-based thinker. I strongly recommend Neal Postman’s “Amusing Ourselves to Death” about the cultural shift from logic(minds developed from text) to thinking in image (minds developed from TV).
Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 16 Thumb down 6
epoche* July 24, 2014 at 18:24
Men’s Rights Organization
CAFE Toronto has debate about why they werent allowed in gay pride
————————————————————————–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3W3ww3a4IKQ&list=UUvlBoX4hBrM2yUglBQcYVHg
What they cannot wrap their minds around the problems of liberalism and its insane belief in rational harmony.
Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 4
The Other Jim July 24, 2014 at 18:36
Not to derail this topic, but after working in SE Asia I’m also of the opinion that Caning is far more humane than condemning people to spend their lives bouncing back and forth in between prison where they are brutalized, raped, and become more hardened criminals. Singapore’s justice system, IMO has quite a bit right.
How To Tell If A Man Is Interested In You
Do’s and Don’ts for a Successful Break-Up
The Dating With EXpectation Factor
Dating Real Test Is in the Wallet
How To Know That Your Relationship Is In Trouble
When Potential Becomes a Relationship Killer
The Unspoken Truths About Blame in Relationships
How Technology is Killing the Romance
Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 4
melmoth July 24, 2014 at 18:10
Maaldweb
You make a great point. Liberals go with image, conservatives stick with logic. That’s why Hollywood etc is their domain. And for all the talk of liberals being the more literate party, then look at how much more sales are generated by conservative authors. A liberal will take his goatee and battered copy of ‘The Stranger’ to cafe after cafe. It’s all to capture an image and has nothing to do with actual reading. Look at the recent uproar over the Taliban girl holding a rifle and the Koran juxtaposed with the yankee holding her bible and a rifle. Liberals rejoiced. “Same! Same! Same!” The fact that the books held different beliefs and that the reason for being armed was diametric (murder of innocents vs. self-defense) did not matter at all. HOW IS IT THE SAME IF THEY ARE HOLDING A DIFFERENT BOOK? The image was the same and that is as deep as it goes for an image-based thinker. I strongly recommend Neal Postman’s “Amusing Ourselves to Death” about the cultural shift from logic(minds developed from text) to thinking in image (minds developed from TV).
Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 16 Thumb down 6
epoche* July 24, 2014 at 18:24
Men’s Rights Organization
CAFE Toronto has debate about why they werent allowed in gay pride
————————————————————————–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3W3ww3a4IKQ&list=UUvlBoX4hBrM2yUglBQcYVHg
What they cannot wrap their minds around the problems of liberalism and its insane belief in rational harmony.
Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 4
The Other Jim July 24, 2014 at 18:36
Not to derail this topic, but after working in SE Asia I’m also of the opinion that Caning is far more humane than condemning people to spend their lives bouncing back and forth in between prison where they are brutalized, raped, and become more hardened criminals. Singapore’s justice system, IMO has quite a bit right.
Début de l'événement
08.11.2021
Fin de l'événement
08.11.2021
Facebook is Amazing
Description
Do You Reveal Too Much About Your Relationship?
Be Yourself: The Truth About Authentic Dating
Why So Many Relationships End at 90 Days
There really are NO BAD DATES!
How The Law of Attraction Can Help You Find Love
A Dude Diner’s Doctrine
Soundtrax To Your Life: Pre-Date Tunes
Ms. Awesome’s Advice for Men
Bad Relationships Aren’t Investments
How To Get A One Nite Stand Out Of Your Apartment
Just a quick story, broken down in bullet points:
Halloween, I met a bunch of girls, got a bunch of phone numbers.
I pre-gamed with Four Lokos and continued to stop in bars for beers while out.
I didn’t remember what half of the chicks whose numbers I got looked like the next day.
I mass texted them a few weeks later and tried to add them on Facebook.
One of them, who responded the best to my text, turned out to be a very attractive black girl.
I never texted her or anything again.
I ran into her a few weeks ago when I was in town.
It was a Friday night, I wasn’t sure she’d recognize me.
She was walking past with a group of friends and I just got in her way and pointed at her.
Her eyes lit up and she smiled real big.
She hugged me.
Next thing you know, she was all over me.
I would’ve never recognized her if I had never looked at her Facebook pictures.
I don’t even remember actually meeting her – just having her phone number afterwards and knowing that I did meet her on Halloween.
After running into her again, I texted her the next day…. I’ll pick up here…
Me, Sat, 12:20 pm: Wasup [her name]? It was good running into last night… enjoy work while the rest of us party all day at [event]
Her, Sat, 12:44 pm: Who is this?
Me, 1:18 pm: [WW]
Her, 1:19 pm: Who?
Me, 1:20 pm: The cute ass white boy. What you know me as [WW] or [Wonka]?
Her, 1:21 pm: [Wonka]. Lol.
Me, 1:31 pm: I didn’t realize you were so short! I hope you weren’t wearing heels… but you were looking cute tho
Her, 1:33 pm: Yeah. I am 5’3. I’m tiny.lol. I didn’t wear heels. I was just in chill mode. Didn’t feel like dressing up
Me, 1:47 pm: I feel ya. What time you get off work?
Her, 1:47 pm: 6:30
Me, 1:51 pm: Ok. Text me when you get off then… I’ll be downtown somewhere, come grab a drink with me and chill for a bit
Her, 1:53 pm: Ok. I will do that. U know what
Me, 1:59 pm: What’s that?
Her, 1:59 pm: U remind me of robin thicke. Lol
She actually wound up flaking that night…which wasn’t too surprising – the calibration was off, and there was no real comfort or rapport, and logistically she didn’t know where I was and who I was with, just that I was downtown somewhere, at some party. But that’s not the point. The point is she’s hot as shit and she was all over me, and the only way we recognized each other is because we’re Facebook friends.
I’ve texted her and called her a couple of times since then… building the comfort now…
She’s pretty into me too, she’s on my romantic radar now.
Anyway, back to what Facebook is and can do:
It’s great at keeping girls in the loop, if you do it right.
I made some changes to my profile after Krauser and Jambone looked at it in London. The profile itself should basically be a little DHV’s and attraction triggers. No, you’re probably not going to create attraction in a girl just off of your Facebook profile, but if you create attraction when you meet her, and then have a good profile that piques her interest a bit, you’re much better off.
Then, it’s a great place to run game on chicks in chat, and even a bit in messages. Chat being the better of the two of course.. but some girls are never logged in, so you gotta keep em engaged back and forth a bit through messages first.
I think Facebook is particularly better than texting for sets where you didn’t really get a lot of time in with the girl when you meet her. Yeah, if you read Mystery Method or Bang, they make it sound like you need to be in set with a girl for like 2 hours the night you meet her, but that’s not always the case. Some sets can go really well and only last 5 minutes – especially in day game. So, you’re obviously going to need to build more with these girls.
It’s harder to do that on text, because you don’t have much to go on besides callback humor. In a Facebook chat, there’s more new things to tease her about – recent photos, recent statuses, the funny name of the school she went to, whatever. You can also easily pull in photos and videos off of Google images or Youtube to quickly create some humor and add a lot of interaction to the chat. A picture is worth a thousand words, right?
Anyway… this is my goal for Facebook now. To keep girls in the loop, to keep them on my romantic radar. Plus, when they look through my pictures and stuff, that also adds to the comfort and rapport and helps them to feel like they know me better – like the girl, who I’ll call Short Model, in the earlier story. She wouldn’t have been all over me like that had she not looked through my photos on Facebook before and got a sense that she knows me a little bit, eventhough we’ve never actually talked.
We talk now though. She calls me almost as much as Ghetto Club does….
I’ll slow game her a bit, but I’ll say more about that in tomorrow’s post.
Be Yourself: The Truth About Authentic Dating
Why So Many Relationships End at 90 Days
There really are NO BAD DATES!
How The Law of Attraction Can Help You Find Love
A Dude Diner’s Doctrine
Soundtrax To Your Life: Pre-Date Tunes
Ms. Awesome’s Advice for Men
Bad Relationships Aren’t Investments
How To Get A One Nite Stand Out Of Your Apartment
Just a quick story, broken down in bullet points:
Halloween, I met a bunch of girls, got a bunch of phone numbers.
I pre-gamed with Four Lokos and continued to stop in bars for beers while out.
I didn’t remember what half of the chicks whose numbers I got looked like the next day.
I mass texted them a few weeks later and tried to add them on Facebook.
One of them, who responded the best to my text, turned out to be a very attractive black girl.
I never texted her or anything again.
I ran into her a few weeks ago when I was in town.
It was a Friday night, I wasn’t sure she’d recognize me.
She was walking past with a group of friends and I just got in her way and pointed at her.
Her eyes lit up and she smiled real big.
She hugged me.
Next thing you know, she was all over me.
I would’ve never recognized her if I had never looked at her Facebook pictures.
I don’t even remember actually meeting her – just having her phone number afterwards and knowing that I did meet her on Halloween.
After running into her again, I texted her the next day…. I’ll pick up here…
Me, Sat, 12:20 pm: Wasup [her name]? It was good running into last night… enjoy work while the rest of us party all day at [event]
Her, Sat, 12:44 pm: Who is this?
Me, 1:18 pm: [WW]
Her, 1:19 pm: Who?
Me, 1:20 pm: The cute ass white boy. What you know me as [WW] or [Wonka]?
Her, 1:21 pm: [Wonka]. Lol.
Me, 1:31 pm: I didn’t realize you were so short! I hope you weren’t wearing heels… but you were looking cute tho
Her, 1:33 pm: Yeah. I am 5’3. I’m tiny.lol. I didn’t wear heels. I was just in chill mode. Didn’t feel like dressing up
Me, 1:47 pm: I feel ya. What time you get off work?
Her, 1:47 pm: 6:30
Me, 1:51 pm: Ok. Text me when you get off then… I’ll be downtown somewhere, come grab a drink with me and chill for a bit
Her, 1:53 pm: Ok. I will do that. U know what
Me, 1:59 pm: What’s that?
Her, 1:59 pm: U remind me of robin thicke. Lol
She actually wound up flaking that night…which wasn’t too surprising – the calibration was off, and there was no real comfort or rapport, and logistically she didn’t know where I was and who I was with, just that I was downtown somewhere, at some party. But that’s not the point. The point is she’s hot as shit and she was all over me, and the only way we recognized each other is because we’re Facebook friends.
I’ve texted her and called her a couple of times since then… building the comfort now…
She’s pretty into me too, she’s on my romantic radar now.
Anyway, back to what Facebook is and can do:
It’s great at keeping girls in the loop, if you do it right.
I made some changes to my profile after Krauser and Jambone looked at it in London. The profile itself should basically be a little DHV’s and attraction triggers. No, you’re probably not going to create attraction in a girl just off of your Facebook profile, but if you create attraction when you meet her, and then have a good profile that piques her interest a bit, you’re much better off.
Then, it’s a great place to run game on chicks in chat, and even a bit in messages. Chat being the better of the two of course.. but some girls are never logged in, so you gotta keep em engaged back and forth a bit through messages first.
I think Facebook is particularly better than texting for sets where you didn’t really get a lot of time in with the girl when you meet her. Yeah, if you read Mystery Method or Bang, they make it sound like you need to be in set with a girl for like 2 hours the night you meet her, but that’s not always the case. Some sets can go really well and only last 5 minutes – especially in day game. So, you’re obviously going to need to build more with these girls.
It’s harder to do that on text, because you don’t have much to go on besides callback humor. In a Facebook chat, there’s more new things to tease her about – recent photos, recent statuses, the funny name of the school she went to, whatever. You can also easily pull in photos and videos off of Google images or Youtube to quickly create some humor and add a lot of interaction to the chat. A picture is worth a thousand words, right?
Anyway… this is my goal for Facebook now. To keep girls in the loop, to keep them on my romantic radar. Plus, when they look through my pictures and stuff, that also adds to the comfort and rapport and helps them to feel like they know me better – like the girl, who I’ll call Short Model, in the earlier story. She wouldn’t have been all over me like that had she not looked through my photos on Facebook before and got a sense that she knows me a little bit, eventhough we’ve never actually talked.
We talk now though. She calls me almost as much as Ghetto Club does….
I’ll slow game her a bit, but I’ll say more about that in tomorrow’s post.
Début de l'événement
31.01.2022
Fin de l'événement
31.01.2022
Female Power: Four Reasons for World Rule and One PR Disaster
Description
Breaking up with someone you still actually like
First Dates You Should Never Take a Black Woman On
Why Women Should Rule The World
Do’s And Dont’s Of Making a Sex Tape
Four Reasons Why women Shouldn’t Pursue Men
Taking The Lead
Can’t Trust It: 9 Women To Avoid At All Сosts
Five Surefire Ways To Scare Her Away
@Sister Toldja, that one scene was definitely a stretch. however, i don’t actually think they over did it too much on that end. in fact, i think that was the only scene were they specifically and overtly stated what htey were doing…and i’m guessing its bc TP had no clue how else to write it in.
The Best Man had a similar scene when all four of them were playing cards and Taye Diggs went out of his way to mention that Morris Chestnutt graduated Summa Cum Laude, etc. And talking about Merch’s lawyer possibilities, etc.
sometimes i think these folks just dont know how create dialogue that isn’t so in your face…but they’ll sacrfice one scene for it.
d’oh well.
Reply
Ro {June 22nd, 2009 at 12:51 am}
@thismayconcernyou, I’m not going to lie… Seeing grown up Rudy portray a prostitute…. not believeable to me. The attitude…all that made me giggle.
I’ll stick to the plays…at least there the over acting is accepted.
Reply
thismayconcernyou {June 22nd, 2009 at 12:59 am}
@Ro,
Google thismayconcernyou and Rudy Huxtable… this is my hope for Rudy. Not the crackwhorish prostitution. lol.
Reply
Panama Jackson {June 22nd, 2009 at 9:52 am}
@Ro, you know what made it unbelievable to me?
them hoez were SO dirty. in ATL, most of our hoez look way cleaner then that. I mean the wigs were terrible. back in the day, on Stewart Ave (or more recently Metropolitan) the tricks looked pretty well put together. I mean ATL is a pretty chick city, the competition is steep. you cant’ just show up looking like a dirty yamp. You got to be nice and clean lookin’.
plus, she looked dirty as hell but had the best set of pearly whites you ever did see.
First Dates You Should Never Take a Black Woman On
Why Women Should Rule The World
Do’s And Dont’s Of Making a Sex Tape
Four Reasons Why women Shouldn’t Pursue Men
Taking The Lead
Can’t Trust It: 9 Women To Avoid At All Сosts
Five Surefire Ways To Scare Her Away
@Sister Toldja, that one scene was definitely a stretch. however, i don’t actually think they over did it too much on that end. in fact, i think that was the only scene were they specifically and overtly stated what htey were doing…and i’m guessing its bc TP had no clue how else to write it in.
The Best Man had a similar scene when all four of them were playing cards and Taye Diggs went out of his way to mention that Morris Chestnutt graduated Summa Cum Laude, etc. And talking about Merch’s lawyer possibilities, etc.
sometimes i think these folks just dont know how create dialogue that isn’t so in your face…but they’ll sacrfice one scene for it.
d’oh well.
Reply
Ro {June 22nd, 2009 at 12:51 am}
@thismayconcernyou, I’m not going to lie… Seeing grown up Rudy portray a prostitute…. not believeable to me. The attitude…all that made me giggle.
I’ll stick to the plays…at least there the over acting is accepted.
Reply
thismayconcernyou {June 22nd, 2009 at 12:59 am}
@Ro,
Google thismayconcernyou and Rudy Huxtable… this is my hope for Rudy. Not the crackwhorish prostitution. lol.
Reply
Panama Jackson {June 22nd, 2009 at 9:52 am}
@Ro, you know what made it unbelievable to me?
them hoez were SO dirty. in ATL, most of our hoez look way cleaner then that. I mean the wigs were terrible. back in the day, on Stewart Ave (or more recently Metropolitan) the tricks looked pretty well put together. I mean ATL is a pretty chick city, the competition is steep. you cant’ just show up looking like a dirty yamp. You got to be nice and clean lookin’.
plus, she looked dirty as hell but had the best set of pearly whites you ever did see.
Début de l'événement
17.10.2022
Fin de l'événement
17.10.2022
Financial Stress and Divorce When Money Problems Become Marriage Problems
Description
I Travel The World. Alone.
An Internal Monologue While Perusing Online Dating Matches
How To Hook Up In A Hostel есть 100 дубликат на frisky
How Do You Know When You’re Ready To Vacation Together?
How To Enjoy Travelling When You’re Not On Your Honeymoon
I Fantasize About Other Men
Why It’s Easier To Meet Men On Vacation есть 100 дубликат на frisky
If You’re 300,000 Miles Away, Don’t Call Your New Man
Will Our Marriage Survive Our First Road Trip Together?
When On Vacation ... Just Say Yes
Andthatswhyyouresingle Says:
January 17th, 2012 at 2:41 pm
Forget about 6-8 weeks. This woman issued the “sex for committment” ultimatum after only a week and he agreed. There’s nothing healthy about that. No self-respecting guy does that unless he’s desperate or has an ulterior motive. Color me pessimistic.
This guy is a Grade A fraudster who’s taking advantage of the fact that this woman is new in town, has no real support system and no real social life. Which means she has no friends warning her or looking out for her. He is the center of her world.
She’ll do whatever he wants because he fits the profile – rich, handsome, a “CEO” (a nice bullshit title that self-employed people like to give themselves so they can sound more impressive) and eager to commit.
Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 16 Thumb down 10
Reply
DrivingMeNutes Says:
January 17th, 2012 at 3:32 pm
Agree about the CEO title, unless it’s given to you by a disinterested board of directors. And, you can take my word for it because, although I don’t have the credibility normally reserved for famed radio personalities in happy long term relationships, I am the Emperor of a nice Pile of Dirt.
Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 11 Thumb down 2
Reply
Crotch Rocket Says:
January 18th, 2012 at 11:12 am
“No self-respecting guy does that unless he’s desperate or has an ulterior motive.” Or he could simply be lying. After all, they’d only known each other a week; she has no reasonable basis to conclude this “commitment” meant anything because there hadn’t been enough time for him (or her, for that matter) to establish a track record of honesty.
An Internal Monologue While Perusing Online Dating Matches
How To Hook Up In A Hostel есть 100 дубликат на frisky
How Do You Know When You’re Ready To Vacation Together?
How To Enjoy Travelling When You’re Not On Your Honeymoon
I Fantasize About Other Men
Why It’s Easier To Meet Men On Vacation есть 100 дубликат на frisky
If You’re 300,000 Miles Away, Don’t Call Your New Man
Will Our Marriage Survive Our First Road Trip Together?
When On Vacation ... Just Say Yes
Andthatswhyyouresingle Says:
January 17th, 2012 at 2:41 pm
Forget about 6-8 weeks. This woman issued the “sex for committment” ultimatum after only a week and he agreed. There’s nothing healthy about that. No self-respecting guy does that unless he’s desperate or has an ulterior motive. Color me pessimistic.
This guy is a Grade A fraudster who’s taking advantage of the fact that this woman is new in town, has no real support system and no real social life. Which means she has no friends warning her or looking out for her. He is the center of her world.
She’ll do whatever he wants because he fits the profile – rich, handsome, a “CEO” (a nice bullshit title that self-employed people like to give themselves so they can sound more impressive) and eager to commit.
Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 16 Thumb down 10
Reply
DrivingMeNutes Says:
January 17th, 2012 at 3:32 pm
Agree about the CEO title, unless it’s given to you by a disinterested board of directors. And, you can take my word for it because, although I don’t have the credibility normally reserved for famed radio personalities in happy long term relationships, I am the Emperor of a nice Pile of Dirt.
Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 11 Thumb down 2
Reply
Crotch Rocket Says:
January 18th, 2012 at 11:12 am
“No self-respecting guy does that unless he’s desperate or has an ulterior motive.” Or he could simply be lying. After all, they’d only known each other a week; she has no reasonable basis to conclude this “commitment” meant anything because there hadn’t been enough time for him (or her, for that matter) to establish a track record of honesty.
Début de l'événement
21.02.2022
Fin de l'événement
21.02.2022
Finding Love or Just Validation The Real Reason People Use Dating Apps
Description
We’re All Slutty For The Right Guy
Dear Men: This Is Why Loyalty Is So Important To Women
How Do You Avoid Dating a Liberal/Conservative?
Are You Looking For Fast Love Too?
Should You Fake an Active Lifestyle for Love?
When a Relationship Feels Like a Secret Mission
Pushing Through It
Embracing The Unexpected Path Of Singlehood
Why Is It So Hard to Believe Someone Might Stay?
Am I Crazy Or Is He A Hot Mess?
Comments? Thoughts? This is based on science and careful study but I’m always open to postulation.
More often than not, men and women are ships passing in the night, never quite existing on the same level. This phenom is the subject of endless study and speculation, but never is it more the case than at the beginning of a courtship – such a delicate period of wide error margins and tricky variables.
Sounds like a job for math and statistics, and it is. I introduce to the world the Rothman graph (fig. A). Let me break it down. The Level of Interest is the amount of interest and enthusiasm (sexual or otherwise) each has for the other. The Level of Familiarity is how well they know each other, defined by time.
You will quickly notice the extreme distance between the man and woman on the level of interest in the beginning: the woman is on the lowest level while the man is that the very top. This is because men, generally stimulated and driven by visual stimuli, believes from the beginning that she is perfect for him – even though he knows nothing about her. She’s hot, she’s the one. Period.
Women, however, reserve interest in the beginning; their levels rise only with time and familiarity. Indeed, she needs to know “the real” him, and interest is yoked to time. So the disconnect here is obvious and, much of the time, irreconcilable; the results then are all too predictable.
They only come together, literally, upon conception; almost immediately after each takes their, sharp dramatic turn in opposite trajectories. Ironically, the end result is mutual – utter confusion. But we now understand there is nothing to be confused about, and can only hope that lightning strikes and the warring opposites get set on the same (or at least similar) course.
Comments? Thoughts? This is based on science and careful study but I’m always open to postulation.Good Things: stability; predictable haircut; calculating manner that can apply to other aspects of life in positive ways, for example sex; always on time; will never cheat on you.
Dear Men: This Is Why Loyalty Is So Important To Women
How Do You Avoid Dating a Liberal/Conservative?
Are You Looking For Fast Love Too?
Should You Fake an Active Lifestyle for Love?
When a Relationship Feels Like a Secret Mission
Pushing Through It
Embracing The Unexpected Path Of Singlehood
Why Is It So Hard to Believe Someone Might Stay?
Am I Crazy Or Is He A Hot Mess?
Comments? Thoughts? This is based on science and careful study but I’m always open to postulation.
More often than not, men and women are ships passing in the night, never quite existing on the same level. This phenom is the subject of endless study and speculation, but never is it more the case than at the beginning of a courtship – such a delicate period of wide error margins and tricky variables.
Sounds like a job for math and statistics, and it is. I introduce to the world the Rothman graph (fig. A). Let me break it down. The Level of Interest is the amount of interest and enthusiasm (sexual or otherwise) each has for the other. The Level of Familiarity is how well they know each other, defined by time.
You will quickly notice the extreme distance between the man and woman on the level of interest in the beginning: the woman is on the lowest level while the man is that the very top. This is because men, generally stimulated and driven by visual stimuli, believes from the beginning that she is perfect for him – even though he knows nothing about her. She’s hot, she’s the one. Period.
Women, however, reserve interest in the beginning; their levels rise only with time and familiarity. Indeed, she needs to know “the real” him, and interest is yoked to time. So the disconnect here is obvious and, much of the time, irreconcilable; the results then are all too predictable.
They only come together, literally, upon conception; almost immediately after each takes their, sharp dramatic turn in opposite trajectories. Ironically, the end result is mutual – utter confusion. But we now understand there is nothing to be confused about, and can only hope that lightning strikes and the warring opposites get set on the same (or at least similar) course.
Comments? Thoughts? This is based on science and careful study but I’m always open to postulation.Good Things: stability; predictable haircut; calculating manner that can apply to other aspects of life in positive ways, for example sex; always on time; will never cheat on you.
Début de l'événement
11.03.2022
Fin de l'événement
11.03.2022
Fixating on Strangers: When Fantasies Cloud Judgment
Description
More On the Nuclear Family with Children Narrative
Loosening the Chains of the Nuclear Family
Kindness and Modern Dating
How to Navigate Uncertainty in Online Dating
A Dating Suggestion to the Deeply Frustrated
Rethinking Gender Norms in Modern Dating
Obsessing About Strangers
Two Dates in One
Texts Or Calls And Dating
Men Like a Challenge
Men Want to Feel Manly
Issues with the Language of Dating Angst
What made this feeling even weirder was that it wasn’t rooted in any racial hang-ups and/or neurosis. It — interracial dating — just didn’t compute as a possibility because I never saw any of my peers do it. I guess it’s kind of like the KFC Double Down in that way. I wouldn’t have fathomed that you could make a chicken/meat/chicken sandwich until I actually saw it done.
Ashley: I always joke that I didn’t “discover” race until I attended Howard University. Sure, I knew the different colors of the ‘racebow’, but I didn’t know what it meant for me or my peers. I grew up in a predominantly white suburb in Michigan (right outside of Detroit and not too far from 8 mile…). There were a ton of interracial relationships in my family. For the longest time I assumed my white aunts were just fair-skinned black women. Our family didn’t talk about race, but we were still “black” (if that makes sense). Meaning, you could catch anything from B.I.G to Bill Withers on the stereo on any given day. So the messages that I received were that it was, “all good.” I don’t recall any funny looks or whispered conversations about the interracial couples in our family. My uncles didn’t run to the family bbq expecting an award for bringing a woman of a different race around. It was something we were just all used to seeing.
Cheryl Lynn: The topic of interracial relationships wasn’t (and still isn’t) a topic that is discussed in my family. Still, I definitely got the impression that that there were interracial relationships that weren’t an issue and interracial relationships that were. Romantic relationships between blacks and Latinos were/are so common in my family and community that I often forget that they actually are interracial relationships. My family and friends have never frowned upon romantic relationships between blacks and whites…but it is a thing. It’s an elephant in the room. I remember the raised eyebrows when I went to the prom with a white guy. It was the only time I dated a white guy and the only time I ever got those raised eyebrows. Once I brought home an ethnically/racially ambiguous Asian guy. My mom was really sweet, but as soon as he left asked, “What is he?” I told her “He’s not white.” And that was all the answer she needed. But if you bring a white person home, there are little jokes, little looks. Nothing mean, but your relationship is marked as different. The one exception? If your significant other is gay. I guess there’s a minority requirement…but they don’t care what minority!
Andrea: My maternal family–especially my mom and aunts, who were the last two generations to see that “whites-only” sign racism in the US–let me know that it was not OK to get with the ofay. Other men of color were seen as “not quite” what the fam wanted to see me bring home to them. But my mom also said that, if she had her preference in seeing an interracial couple–like you, N’jaila, she thought of “interracial” as PoC and White pairings–she’d much rather see a Black woman with a White Man than a Black man with a White woman. In her mind, the Black woman is “getting hers.”
Loosening the Chains of the Nuclear Family
Kindness and Modern Dating
How to Navigate Uncertainty in Online Dating
A Dating Suggestion to the Deeply Frustrated
Rethinking Gender Norms in Modern Dating
Obsessing About Strangers
Two Dates in One
Texts Or Calls And Dating
Men Like a Challenge
Men Want to Feel Manly
Issues with the Language of Dating Angst
What made this feeling even weirder was that it wasn’t rooted in any racial hang-ups and/or neurosis. It — interracial dating — just didn’t compute as a possibility because I never saw any of my peers do it. I guess it’s kind of like the KFC Double Down in that way. I wouldn’t have fathomed that you could make a chicken/meat/chicken sandwich until I actually saw it done.
Ashley: I always joke that I didn’t “discover” race until I attended Howard University. Sure, I knew the different colors of the ‘racebow’, but I didn’t know what it meant for me or my peers. I grew up in a predominantly white suburb in Michigan (right outside of Detroit and not too far from 8 mile…). There were a ton of interracial relationships in my family. For the longest time I assumed my white aunts were just fair-skinned black women. Our family didn’t talk about race, but we were still “black” (if that makes sense). Meaning, you could catch anything from B.I.G to Bill Withers on the stereo on any given day. So the messages that I received were that it was, “all good.” I don’t recall any funny looks or whispered conversations about the interracial couples in our family. My uncles didn’t run to the family bbq expecting an award for bringing a woman of a different race around. It was something we were just all used to seeing.
Cheryl Lynn: The topic of interracial relationships wasn’t (and still isn’t) a topic that is discussed in my family. Still, I definitely got the impression that that there were interracial relationships that weren’t an issue and interracial relationships that were. Romantic relationships between blacks and Latinos were/are so common in my family and community that I often forget that they actually are interracial relationships. My family and friends have never frowned upon romantic relationships between blacks and whites…but it is a thing. It’s an elephant in the room. I remember the raised eyebrows when I went to the prom with a white guy. It was the only time I dated a white guy and the only time I ever got those raised eyebrows. Once I brought home an ethnically/racially ambiguous Asian guy. My mom was really sweet, but as soon as he left asked, “What is he?” I told her “He’s not white.” And that was all the answer she needed. But if you bring a white person home, there are little jokes, little looks. Nothing mean, but your relationship is marked as different. The one exception? If your significant other is gay. I guess there’s a minority requirement…but they don’t care what minority!
Andrea: My maternal family–especially my mom and aunts, who were the last two generations to see that “whites-only” sign racism in the US–let me know that it was not OK to get with the ofay. Other men of color were seen as “not quite” what the fam wanted to see me bring home to them. But my mom also said that, if she had her preference in seeing an interracial couple–like you, N’jaila, she thought of “interracial” as PoC and White pairings–she’d much rather see a Black woman with a White Man than a Black man with a White woman. In her mind, the Black woman is “getting hers.”
Début de l'événement
02.01.2023
Fin de l'événement
02.01.2023
Forbidden Romance: Should Friends Date Your Sibling?
Description
Five Subtle Signs That He Ain't Bad
Do You Expect Your Partner To Cheat?
10 Reasons Why You Will Not Get A Call Back
Why I Never Will Date A White Woman
Tiger Woods Elin Nordegren And Golfgate
The Five Worst Times To Approach A Black Woman
Why Won’T You Let Me Be Great?
What men usually hear when women are talking to us
Bedroom Tactics Gone Bad: 5 Things You Really Should Ask About.
I completely feel for you and the situation you are going through. I understand your frustration about the guy friend and your feeling that your girlfriend is not helping enough around the house. From the information you gave me, you work about 55ish hours? She works about 54ish hours? Is that correct? I think that is the first big issue. You both work too many hours. There are 168 hours in a week. If you minus sleeping time, (about 8 hours a night) that leaves you with 112 hours. Lets minus work time= 57 hours. Let’s account for an hour commute a day- to work, groceries, errands etc (time in the car)= 50 hours. Let’s deduct 3 hours a day to eat and prepare food (3 meals)=21 hours left. That leaves you about 3 hours a day give or take with free time… and that’s probably going to be eaten up easily with chores, spending time with your daughter, bills, tv or internet time etc…
The big thing is that you both don’t have margin in your life. Without that time for your relationship, time specifically set aside each day to be together, communicate, enjoy each other’s company, even just do nothing together, what do you really have but a life that’s all work and no play? With three hours left each day (give or take), is it no wonder that she wants to spend that time not cleaning house?
I know this is a crazy idea, but if there is any way you can downsize your life, lessen your monthly bills and rent/mortgage, pay down any debt you may have… so that you guys can free up time in your life to dedicate to your relationship, you will both be happier. I’m a big believer in the one income household, with the wife only having the option to work. Then she can be the queen of your home, raise your daughter, manage the affairs of your household. If you both love your jobs and cannot conceive of this kind of world, is there any way to reduce the amount of time you spend at work to devote to your family? How would she feel about these possibilities?
All I am saying is that the answer to your situation is not going to be easy. It’s going to take a drastic lifestyle change. why? Because you cannot create more time in a day. You cannot conjur up more energy than what your body has. You are both depleting your energies by allowing work to dominate your time.
In regards to the “guy friend:” I don’t believe it is wise for women in committed relationships to have these guy best friend types. There is always a flirtatious element in male and female friendships especially if both find the other attractive. There is nothing you can do about this. Nonetheless, as the man in the relationship who is affected by this close friendship, forcing her to stop texting this man or stop hanging out with this man will take away her freedom, and the natural response to having your liberties taken away is for you to number 1: rebel or number 2: desire more that which has been labeled as prohibited.
Do You Expect Your Partner To Cheat?
10 Reasons Why You Will Not Get A Call Back
Why I Never Will Date A White Woman
Tiger Woods Elin Nordegren And Golfgate
The Five Worst Times To Approach A Black Woman
Why Won’T You Let Me Be Great?
What men usually hear when women are talking to us
Bedroom Tactics Gone Bad: 5 Things You Really Should Ask About.
I completely feel for you and the situation you are going through. I understand your frustration about the guy friend and your feeling that your girlfriend is not helping enough around the house. From the information you gave me, you work about 55ish hours? She works about 54ish hours? Is that correct? I think that is the first big issue. You both work too many hours. There are 168 hours in a week. If you minus sleeping time, (about 8 hours a night) that leaves you with 112 hours. Lets minus work time= 57 hours. Let’s account for an hour commute a day- to work, groceries, errands etc (time in the car)= 50 hours. Let’s deduct 3 hours a day to eat and prepare food (3 meals)=21 hours left. That leaves you about 3 hours a day give or take with free time… and that’s probably going to be eaten up easily with chores, spending time with your daughter, bills, tv or internet time etc…
The big thing is that you both don’t have margin in your life. Without that time for your relationship, time specifically set aside each day to be together, communicate, enjoy each other’s company, even just do nothing together, what do you really have but a life that’s all work and no play? With three hours left each day (give or take), is it no wonder that she wants to spend that time not cleaning house?
I know this is a crazy idea, but if there is any way you can downsize your life, lessen your monthly bills and rent/mortgage, pay down any debt you may have… so that you guys can free up time in your life to dedicate to your relationship, you will both be happier. I’m a big believer in the one income household, with the wife only having the option to work. Then she can be the queen of your home, raise your daughter, manage the affairs of your household. If you both love your jobs and cannot conceive of this kind of world, is there any way to reduce the amount of time you spend at work to devote to your family? How would she feel about these possibilities?
All I am saying is that the answer to your situation is not going to be easy. It’s going to take a drastic lifestyle change. why? Because you cannot create more time in a day. You cannot conjur up more energy than what your body has. You are both depleting your energies by allowing work to dominate your time.
In regards to the “guy friend:” I don’t believe it is wise for women in committed relationships to have these guy best friend types. There is always a flirtatious element in male and female friendships especially if both find the other attractive. There is nothing you can do about this. Nonetheless, as the man in the relationship who is affected by this close friendship, forcing her to stop texting this man or stop hanging out with this man will take away her freedom, and the natural response to having your liberties taken away is for you to number 1: rebel or number 2: desire more that which has been labeled as prohibited.
Début de l'événement
15.10.2022
Fin de l'événement
15.10.2022
Friend Zone Myths and Realities: What You Need to Know
Description
Three Great Things To Do If Dateless On Valentines Day
10 Things I’ve Learned Since Becoming A Daddy
How To Snag A Last Minute Valentine’s Date
5 Fun Ways to Argue Without Breaking Up
6 Signs You’ve Fallen Into The “Friend Zone”
6 Signs That A Woman Has Been Friend-Zoned
A Guide To Avoiding Relationship Fumbles
A Guide to Making New Friends
Amerie: Has anybody ever told you that could actually sing before? No dis, but you generally sound like when it sings it hurts. In fact, when you sing, I’m often reminded of when I had pneumonia. That’s it, you sing you like your lungs hurt. And maybe that sounds good in Alaska…oh there I go judging again.
Gov. Mark Sanford: Did you ACTUALLY think that you were going to get away with skirting to the Argentinian countryside with a woman and telling everybody else that you went hiking or some such other sh*t? What were you really thinking? You can tell me, I’m just curious as to the general f*ckery that was going on in your mind.
Ciara: How is that you manage to look like both a little boy and a woman at the exact same time? Do you do it on purpose? I’ve always wondered about this, except when you shot the video for “Oh” because you looked great in that video.
Marion Barry: Do you have a personal scandal stopwatch or something? When it counts down to zero you know its time for you to do some other retarded sh*t? Oh, and how can I get in on this “never pay taxes but never go to jail” hustle you have going on?
Fruit -of-the-Loom Grapes: Do you ever wish you were the apple?
The Rest of the Jackson 5 (and Randy): Did you all ever honestly assess the fact that if not for Michael, you probably never would have made it out of Gary?
Blackademics: Which death would have been better career wise: Jay-Z after The Blueprint or Nas after Illmatic? Jay had more albums at that time but its the point where everybody knew him, but Nas is STILL viable because of Illmatic. Just wondering.
Mr. Big Stuff: Just who do you think you are?
Those are a just a few of the questions that I’d ask celebrities if I were to get the opportunity. What questions would you ask of celebrities of you could ask them anything under the sun and they were guaranteed to answer?
Inquiring minds would like to know.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
PS – Don’t forget to vote for us for the Black Weblog Awards (or nominate us…or whatever). I do believe this is the last week you can vote or nominate or whatever. We appreciate you taking the time out of your day to do so for the people. In fact, the people appreciate you. We, the people. On some Eagley Eye sh*t.
10 Things I’ve Learned Since Becoming A Daddy
How To Snag A Last Minute Valentine’s Date
5 Fun Ways to Argue Without Breaking Up
6 Signs You’ve Fallen Into The “Friend Zone”
6 Signs That A Woman Has Been Friend-Zoned
A Guide To Avoiding Relationship Fumbles
A Guide to Making New Friends
Amerie: Has anybody ever told you that could actually sing before? No dis, but you generally sound like when it sings it hurts. In fact, when you sing, I’m often reminded of when I had pneumonia. That’s it, you sing you like your lungs hurt. And maybe that sounds good in Alaska…oh there I go judging again.
Gov. Mark Sanford: Did you ACTUALLY think that you were going to get away with skirting to the Argentinian countryside with a woman and telling everybody else that you went hiking or some such other sh*t? What were you really thinking? You can tell me, I’m just curious as to the general f*ckery that was going on in your mind.
Ciara: How is that you manage to look like both a little boy and a woman at the exact same time? Do you do it on purpose? I’ve always wondered about this, except when you shot the video for “Oh” because you looked great in that video.
Marion Barry: Do you have a personal scandal stopwatch or something? When it counts down to zero you know its time for you to do some other retarded sh*t? Oh, and how can I get in on this “never pay taxes but never go to jail” hustle you have going on?
Fruit -of-the-Loom Grapes: Do you ever wish you were the apple?
The Rest of the Jackson 5 (and Randy): Did you all ever honestly assess the fact that if not for Michael, you probably never would have made it out of Gary?
Blackademics: Which death would have been better career wise: Jay-Z after The Blueprint or Nas after Illmatic? Jay had more albums at that time but its the point where everybody knew him, but Nas is STILL viable because of Illmatic. Just wondering.
Mr. Big Stuff: Just who do you think you are?
Those are a just a few of the questions that I’d ask celebrities if I were to get the opportunity. What questions would you ask of celebrities of you could ask them anything under the sun and they were guaranteed to answer?
Inquiring minds would like to know.
-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka TANGLE JIG P aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL, HE A 3
PS – Don’t forget to vote for us for the Black Weblog Awards (or nominate us…or whatever). I do believe this is the last week you can vote or nominate or whatever. We appreciate you taking the time out of your day to do so for the people. In fact, the people appreciate you. We, the people. On some Eagley Eye sh*t.
Début de l'événement
29.10.2021
Fin de l'événement
29.10.2021
From Creepers to Romeos: How to Keep Unwanted Guys at Bay
Description
Things Every Grown Black Man Needs In His Life
The Black Dating Game
How To Stop “That” Dude From Trying To Talk To You
10 Most Common Lies People Tell in A Relationship
I’ll Be Your Pappy: The Silence of the Daddy Issues
Three Underrated Relationship Benchmarks
Why Successful Men Don’t Want To Put A Ring On it
Annoying Things Women Only Do If They’re Into You
How Every Single Young Woman Can Improve Her Luck
This is very discouraging when you find out weeks, months, our years later. So, when you get what seems like such an obvious message from someone you find attractive, you would be incredibly stupid not to follow up. Also, it stimulates the rewards centers of the brain. You have managed to do something that caused a random woman to express her approval and likely attraction.
And everyone knows that reward center stimulating actions are actions that get repeated. Unlike snorting coke, there isn’t always an easy link between what you did and why she gave the reward. After all, you wear those shoes or clothes or cologne regularly. That’s why you women sometimes end up with weird responses from guys. They have incorrectly isolated the behavior that they think leads to the reward.
Reply
413WIP July 18, 2011 at 2:30 pm
“That’s why you women sometimes end up with weird responses from guys. They have incorrectly isolated the behavior that they think leads to the reward.”
LOL, so dude has been spending money on expensive jackets and and has to totally reevaluate his game when he’s complimented on his gorgeous eyebrows.
Reply
414Sweet Sass July 18, 2011 at 1:56 pm
I compliment men for giggles sometimes. I do agree most of them don’t know what to do. That can take the fun out of it.
Reply
415Around the Way Girl July 18, 2011 at 2:35 pm
I’m a little late, but hopefully people are still commenting. I have a question for the ladies…
When you compliment another woman, do you expect her to compliment you back? And if she doesn’t, do you find her rude/b!tchy? I ask because I get lots of compliments from women, and while I do give genuine compliments when there is something especially compliment-worthy about a person, I think it’s disengenuous to compliment someone just because they complimented you. So, in the moment, I usually just smile and say thank you. But sometimes I get the feeling the complimenter might be a little miffed that I didn’t say something nice back. Feedback?
Reply
The Black Dating Game
How To Stop “That” Dude From Trying To Talk To You
10 Most Common Lies People Tell in A Relationship
I’ll Be Your Pappy: The Silence of the Daddy Issues
Three Underrated Relationship Benchmarks
Why Successful Men Don’t Want To Put A Ring On it
Annoying Things Women Only Do If They’re Into You
How Every Single Young Woman Can Improve Her Luck
This is very discouraging when you find out weeks, months, our years later. So, when you get what seems like such an obvious message from someone you find attractive, you would be incredibly stupid not to follow up. Also, it stimulates the rewards centers of the brain. You have managed to do something that caused a random woman to express her approval and likely attraction.
And everyone knows that reward center stimulating actions are actions that get repeated. Unlike snorting coke, there isn’t always an easy link between what you did and why she gave the reward. After all, you wear those shoes or clothes or cologne regularly. That’s why you women sometimes end up with weird responses from guys. They have incorrectly isolated the behavior that they think leads to the reward.
Reply
413WIP July 18, 2011 at 2:30 pm
“That’s why you women sometimes end up with weird responses from guys. They have incorrectly isolated the behavior that they think leads to the reward.”
LOL, so dude has been spending money on expensive jackets and and has to totally reevaluate his game when he’s complimented on his gorgeous eyebrows.
Reply
414Sweet Sass July 18, 2011 at 1:56 pm
I compliment men for giggles sometimes. I do agree most of them don’t know what to do. That can take the fun out of it.
Reply
415Around the Way Girl July 18, 2011 at 2:35 pm
I’m a little late, but hopefully people are still commenting. I have a question for the ladies…
When you compliment another woman, do you expect her to compliment you back? And if she doesn’t, do you find her rude/b!tchy? I ask because I get lots of compliments from women, and while I do give genuine compliments when there is something especially compliment-worthy about a person, I think it’s disengenuous to compliment someone just because they complimented you. So, in the moment, I usually just smile and say thank you. But sometimes I get the feeling the complimenter might be a little miffed that I didn’t say something nice back. Feedback?
Reply
Début de l'événement
09.10.2022
Fin de l'événement
09.10.2022
From Online Match to First Date: Transitioning Smoothly
Description
A Simpler Guide to Single Men
Top 10 Signs He Is Cheating On You
Check Out Girls Without Getting Caught
10 Steps to Get Over Your Ex
How To: Forget Your Dating Check List
A Female Player's Strategy: The Preemptive Strike
It's Okay To Be Needy
Why Klutzy Women Are Attractive
How Being A Bitch Can Save Your Love Life
Men Play Dating Games Too
Given the time-frame suggested, I don’t completely disagree with the post. I think my overall criticism would be that the situational examples start to resemble a rule book, and they imply that by conducting one’s outward behavior in the right way, you can become or at least resemble an alpha. This may be true for very good actors, but I think it misses the point: alphaness is an internal quality. An alpha can look into his girlfriend’s eyes and say the sappiest shit and he’s still alpha. And the opposite is also true: a beta can recite the correct answer with the perfect delivery and he’s still a beta in her eyes.
These posts place too much emphasis on the verbal, which is probably because blogs are verbal mediums, and this obscures the fact that alphaness is primarily non-verbal and status-based. Who you are, how you look, how you hold yourself and how you talk go much further in the girl’s evaluation of you than what you say. I don’t envy the editor’s difficult job of trying to explain non-verbal alphaness using a verbal medium. My only suggestion would be that instead of emphasizing verbal word-play with the gal, more guys would be better served by working out, eating right, intellectually challenging themselves…basically by improving themselves for its own-sake. And in fairness to the editor, he has suggested these things in prior posts.
on June 1, 2010 at 4:27 pmxsplat
Sidewinder, I can see you are trying to be balanced, and I understand your aversion to the rule book mentality.
However the fact that certain rules irk is the friction required to get you to think about the inner attitudes required.
Yes, it’s a major attitude shift for us men to proclaim that our cock has mysterious ways that the woman does not and will never control.
I know you personally would hate to have to hold even that attitude. You want to give up the mystery, in favor of communion.
Sorry, but I think that attitude is not strategic, and it doesn’t take into account as much reality as do other attitudes. Stupid, in other words.
on June 1, 2010 at 4:29 pmPhillyBoy81
You should write a post on SATC2.
on June 1, 2010 at 4:30 pmj r
that is an interesting articlle that roosh posted a link to. it seems that some pressure group or special interest is always making the case for this or that looming specter that threatens to do away with us all. and the powers that be are always receptive to using that message as a means of excercising more and more control over the populace.
Top 10 Signs He Is Cheating On You
Check Out Girls Without Getting Caught
10 Steps to Get Over Your Ex
How To: Forget Your Dating Check List
A Female Player's Strategy: The Preemptive Strike
It's Okay To Be Needy
Why Klutzy Women Are Attractive
How Being A Bitch Can Save Your Love Life
Men Play Dating Games Too
Given the time-frame suggested, I don’t completely disagree with the post. I think my overall criticism would be that the situational examples start to resemble a rule book, and they imply that by conducting one’s outward behavior in the right way, you can become or at least resemble an alpha. This may be true for very good actors, but I think it misses the point: alphaness is an internal quality. An alpha can look into his girlfriend’s eyes and say the sappiest shit and he’s still alpha. And the opposite is also true: a beta can recite the correct answer with the perfect delivery and he’s still a beta in her eyes.
These posts place too much emphasis on the verbal, which is probably because blogs are verbal mediums, and this obscures the fact that alphaness is primarily non-verbal and status-based. Who you are, how you look, how you hold yourself and how you talk go much further in the girl’s evaluation of you than what you say. I don’t envy the editor’s difficult job of trying to explain non-verbal alphaness using a verbal medium. My only suggestion would be that instead of emphasizing verbal word-play with the gal, more guys would be better served by working out, eating right, intellectually challenging themselves…basically by improving themselves for its own-sake. And in fairness to the editor, he has suggested these things in prior posts.
on June 1, 2010 at 4:27 pmxsplat
Sidewinder, I can see you are trying to be balanced, and I understand your aversion to the rule book mentality.
However the fact that certain rules irk is the friction required to get you to think about the inner attitudes required.
Yes, it’s a major attitude shift for us men to proclaim that our cock has mysterious ways that the woman does not and will never control.
I know you personally would hate to have to hold even that attitude. You want to give up the mystery, in favor of communion.
Sorry, but I think that attitude is not strategic, and it doesn’t take into account as much reality as do other attitudes. Stupid, in other words.
on June 1, 2010 at 4:29 pmPhillyBoy81
You should write a post on SATC2.
on June 1, 2010 at 4:30 pmj r
that is an interesting articlle that roosh posted a link to. it seems that some pressure group or special interest is always making the case for this or that looming specter that threatens to do away with us all. and the powers that be are always receptive to using that message as a means of excercising more and more control over the populace.
Début de l'événement
11.10.2022
Fin de l'événement
11.10.2022
Great Last Minute Valentine’s Ideas To Show You (Don’t) Care
Description
5 Ways To Prove You’re Really In Love!
Why Dating A Geek/Nerd Is Good Strategy
Break-Up Do’s And Don’ts
The “Straight” Dope On Traditional Marriage
Things I Wish Mom Told Me About Dating
The Struggle of Modern Love
The Perils of Dating a Married Man
A Woman’s Guide Of Back Hair Acceptance
10 Things Every Single Man Needs
Epic Meet-Cute Scenarios for Online Daters
10 Things Every Single Woman Needs
My friends, Valentine’s Day is almost here! If you’re a truly vapid person, this is an excellent opportunity to put that on display. Here are some great Valentines date ideas:
1. Attend a 7 PM showing of the latest Nicholas Sparks movie “Safe Haven” (get tickets in advance since it’s opening night!), followed by dinner at The Olive Garden (don’t forget to make reservations!)
2. Go see “Blue Man Group” or any other long-running and way-overpriced theatrical spectacle. Take pictures with the Blue Men after the show!
3. Stay in and rent “The Notebook.” Wear heart boxers (him) and pink silk pajama pants (her). Kick roommates out of the living room and sprinkle rose petals on the wall-to-wall carpet.
4. Have dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. Show her how little you care.
5. Hand deliver edible arrangements to your crush and then feed them to each other in front of their co-workers. Their colleagues will think it’s SO sweet!
6. The week before Valentine’s Day, get matching tattoos of each other’s face; on Valentine’s Day, reveal them to all your friends. Ignore those idiots when they tell you it won’t last – after all, THEY have no idea how magical the last two weeks have been.
7. Both learn the lyrics to the song “Hey There Delilah” and then sing along to it at karaoke. People find this endearing and a true expression of authentic love.
8. Propose, ideally by hiding a ring in a disgustingly massive slice of Oreo cheesecake from the “restaurant”, the Cheesecake Factory.
9. Skype with your “boyfriend” in Germany and brag to your friends that you’re no catfish. (Never tell them how much money you send him every month.)
10. Marry your high school sweetheart before graduation. Just know in your heart that it’s right.
Bonus for Terrible Long Distance Couples: Guys, send your girl a Jane Seymour-designed “Open Heart” necklace that comes in a heart-shaped box. In case it doesn’t arrive in time, also send a personalized singing e-card. Maybe include a video proposal! Why not??
Why Dating A Geek/Nerd Is Good Strategy
Break-Up Do’s And Don’ts
The “Straight” Dope On Traditional Marriage
Things I Wish Mom Told Me About Dating
The Struggle of Modern Love
The Perils of Dating a Married Man
A Woman’s Guide Of Back Hair Acceptance
10 Things Every Single Man Needs
Epic Meet-Cute Scenarios for Online Daters
10 Things Every Single Woman Needs
My friends, Valentine’s Day is almost here! If you’re a truly vapid person, this is an excellent opportunity to put that on display. Here are some great Valentines date ideas:
1. Attend a 7 PM showing of the latest Nicholas Sparks movie “Safe Haven” (get tickets in advance since it’s opening night!), followed by dinner at The Olive Garden (don’t forget to make reservations!)
2. Go see “Blue Man Group” or any other long-running and way-overpriced theatrical spectacle. Take pictures with the Blue Men after the show!
3. Stay in and rent “The Notebook.” Wear heart boxers (him) and pink silk pajama pants (her). Kick roommates out of the living room and sprinkle rose petals on the wall-to-wall carpet.
4. Have dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. Show her how little you care.
5. Hand deliver edible arrangements to your crush and then feed them to each other in front of their co-workers. Their colleagues will think it’s SO sweet!
6. The week before Valentine’s Day, get matching tattoos of each other’s face; on Valentine’s Day, reveal them to all your friends. Ignore those idiots when they tell you it won’t last – after all, THEY have no idea how magical the last two weeks have been.
7. Both learn the lyrics to the song “Hey There Delilah” and then sing along to it at karaoke. People find this endearing and a true expression of authentic love.
8. Propose, ideally by hiding a ring in a disgustingly massive slice of Oreo cheesecake from the “restaurant”, the Cheesecake Factory.
9. Skype with your “boyfriend” in Germany and brag to your friends that you’re no catfish. (Never tell them how much money you send him every month.)
10. Marry your high school sweetheart before graduation. Just know in your heart that it’s right.
Bonus for Terrible Long Distance Couples: Guys, send your girl a Jane Seymour-designed “Open Heart” necklace that comes in a heart-shaped box. In case it doesn’t arrive in time, also send a personalized singing e-card. Maybe include a video proposal! Why not??
Début de l'événement
18.11.2022
Fin de l'événement
18.11.2022
Hearts Are Free, Data Isn’t: Online Love in Financially Strapped Times
Description
Signs Men Look For Before Approaching
It’s Okay Not To Fight For Your Girl
I Have No White Friends
When Romance Gets Real
How Fashion Trends Test Masculinity and Memory
Getting Ready for ‘I Do’
Why Is It Hard For Men To Write About Sex?
Why Love Means Tolerating Each Other's Quirks
When Love Escapes Us.
Basically, it’s an exercise in a particular brand of butthurtness that’s even worse than the typical butthurtness: A hypocritical butthurtness. It operates from the premise that these bitches and hoes are “winning.” And, since these bitches and hoes are winning, we need someone to stand up for men to put those bitches and hoes in their places.
This premise conveniently ignores the fact that the last two decades of rap music has been filled with song after song after song after song after song after song of lyrics and concepts insulting and disrespecting women. These are not veiled or implied disses, either. The consistency of these types of lyrics is only rivaled by how bold and unambiguous they tend to be. Songs like “No Scrubs” and “Lookin Ass Niggas” are singular raindrops in an ocean full of “Big Pimpin”s and “Tip Drill”s and “Pop That”s and “Bitches Ain’t Shit”s.
While talking to Panama a couple weeks ago about the reaction to the post about Pharrell’s GIRL cover and Black male privilege, the conversation somehow segued to us discussing how different our backgrounds are, especially when it comes to the ambiguous and amorphous concept of Blackness.. He’s biracial, lived in the Blackest state on Earth (Alabama), the Blackest city on Earth (Detroit), and Germany. (Yes. That Germany.) He also went to an all-boys HBCU, and currently lives in the Bougie Black Person’s Mecca (Washington, D.C.).
I grew up and still live in Pittsburgh, PA –– the Whitest major metropolitan area in the country. I also lived on one of the most dangerous streets in the city, but I was somewhat insulated from that because my parents sent me to private school in the suburbs and, from the time I was maybe 12 years old, I was a star basketball player. (By my junior year in high school, we moved to that suburb.) This awkward simultaneous connection to and distance from Blackness continued in college. I went to a predominately White university, and I immediately immersed myself with the BlackBlack people on campus. As a junior I was an officer in the Afro-American Society, and my senior year I was an editor of the Black newspaper, The Nia News. But I was also a scholarship basketball player. Which meant I was immune to many of the issues Black students faced.
The conversation then shifted to how the uniqueness of each of our backgrounds, upbringings, and character traits (both learned and innate) controls each of our thoughts and actions today. None of our beliefs, opinions, personalities, and biases happened by accident. All earned their way to be with us.
It’s Okay Not To Fight For Your Girl
I Have No White Friends
When Romance Gets Real
How Fashion Trends Test Masculinity and Memory
Getting Ready for ‘I Do’
Why Is It Hard For Men To Write About Sex?
Why Love Means Tolerating Each Other's Quirks
When Love Escapes Us.
Basically, it’s an exercise in a particular brand of butthurtness that’s even worse than the typical butthurtness: A hypocritical butthurtness. It operates from the premise that these bitches and hoes are “winning.” And, since these bitches and hoes are winning, we need someone to stand up for men to put those bitches and hoes in their places.
This premise conveniently ignores the fact that the last two decades of rap music has been filled with song after song after song after song after song after song of lyrics and concepts insulting and disrespecting women. These are not veiled or implied disses, either. The consistency of these types of lyrics is only rivaled by how bold and unambiguous they tend to be. Songs like “No Scrubs” and “Lookin Ass Niggas” are singular raindrops in an ocean full of “Big Pimpin”s and “Tip Drill”s and “Pop That”s and “Bitches Ain’t Shit”s.
While talking to Panama a couple weeks ago about the reaction to the post about Pharrell’s GIRL cover and Black male privilege, the conversation somehow segued to us discussing how different our backgrounds are, especially when it comes to the ambiguous and amorphous concept of Blackness.. He’s biracial, lived in the Blackest state on Earth (Alabama), the Blackest city on Earth (Detroit), and Germany. (Yes. That Germany.) He also went to an all-boys HBCU, and currently lives in the Bougie Black Person’s Mecca (Washington, D.C.).
I grew up and still live in Pittsburgh, PA –– the Whitest major metropolitan area in the country. I also lived on one of the most dangerous streets in the city, but I was somewhat insulated from that because my parents sent me to private school in the suburbs and, from the time I was maybe 12 years old, I was a star basketball player. (By my junior year in high school, we moved to that suburb.) This awkward simultaneous connection to and distance from Blackness continued in college. I went to a predominately White university, and I immediately immersed myself with the BlackBlack people on campus. As a junior I was an officer in the Afro-American Society, and my senior year I was an editor of the Black newspaper, The Nia News. But I was also a scholarship basketball player. Which meant I was immune to many of the issues Black students faced.
The conversation then shifted to how the uniqueness of each of our backgrounds, upbringings, and character traits (both learned and innate) controls each of our thoughts and actions today. None of our beliefs, opinions, personalities, and biases happened by accident. All earned their way to be with us.
Début de l'événement
12.11.2021
Fin de l'événement
12.11.2021
Honey, I’m home!
Description
We Lived Separate Lives
We Were Living Like Roommates
The Real Reason You Haven't Found Your Perfect Partner
Why Aren't You Married? Facing Your Love Alibi
Ever Have A False Positive In Dating?
When Love Manifestation Turns Into Mani-Frustration
Are You Discounting Yourself In Love?
Ordering Love Like A Latte
Looking For A Quick Fix For Your Love Life?
Impatient for Mr. Right?
Did I scare you? I mean, did you think my long silence was due to the fact that I was marooned in a snow drift somewhere freezing to death? Or perhaps I’d been thrown from the bobsled and run over? Were you grieving for me?
Yeah right. I know you were really just annoyed that I hadn’t said anything yet. Well fine. Whatever. I’m okay though.
In fact, LC and I had a grand time playing in the snow. While I did not prove my amazing athletic acumen, I also did not manage to fall over, injure myself, or do anything else with a potentially high amusement value while we were out there. I did, however, learn to properly appreciate the value of good snow pants and a wooly hat.
Unfortunately, on the drive home from our weekend in the snow, I caught a deadly virus of some sort and landed myself flat on my back in bed for an entire week. And not in the fun way. So that explains my failure to update in a timely fashion. Never fear though, I have returned to health again so my antics here will not suffer permanent damage.
And I missed you too. ;)
We Were Living Like Roommates
The Real Reason You Haven't Found Your Perfect Partner
Why Aren't You Married? Facing Your Love Alibi
Ever Have A False Positive In Dating?
When Love Manifestation Turns Into Mani-Frustration
Are You Discounting Yourself In Love?
Ordering Love Like A Latte
Looking For A Quick Fix For Your Love Life?
Impatient for Mr. Right?
Did I scare you? I mean, did you think my long silence was due to the fact that I was marooned in a snow drift somewhere freezing to death? Or perhaps I’d been thrown from the bobsled and run over? Were you grieving for me?
Yeah right. I know you were really just annoyed that I hadn’t said anything yet. Well fine. Whatever. I’m okay though.
In fact, LC and I had a grand time playing in the snow. While I did not prove my amazing athletic acumen, I also did not manage to fall over, injure myself, or do anything else with a potentially high amusement value while we were out there. I did, however, learn to properly appreciate the value of good snow pants and a wooly hat.
Unfortunately, on the drive home from our weekend in the snow, I caught a deadly virus of some sort and landed myself flat on my back in bed for an entire week. And not in the fun way. So that explains my failure to update in a timely fashion. Never fear though, I have returned to health again so my antics here will not suffer permanent damage.
And I missed you too. ;)
Début de l'événement
15.04.2023
Fin de l'événement
15.04.2023
How Not to Attract a Partner: Lessons from Awkward Encounters
Description
The Wingwoman
Change You Can Believe In: Yourself
Quick to Pass Judgment
Why Some People Hate Valentine’s Day
I’m Single on Valentine’s Day
My Secret Social Identity
What Exactly Is Dating? It’s Ambiguous.
Why Love Is Not a First Sight Thing
Chivalry Makes Women Feel Good
Relationship Experts: Hate The Player Or The Game?
The Double Standard of Men and Women
The Double Standard of Men and Women
The Double Standard of Men and Women
8 Ways to Make a Guy Not Want to Sleep with You
8 Ways to Make a Woman NOT Want to Sleep with You
Of course, these are just a couple of the reasons why I decided to move. I’m not even going to touch upon Dr. Mary Jane’s marijuana-fueled harmonica jam sessions or her utter disregard for privacy, quietness and bras.
Despite an afternoon thunderstorm, the day I moved was hot and the air was thick with a suffocating humidity. My white tee was soaked with rain and sweat and the front of it was browned with a dusting of dirt. Salty beads of sweat rolled down my baldhead and I looked- and smelled- like I had just sprinted through a marathon. After I packed the last box into the rental van, I returned to the apartment to give her my keys. Surprisingly, she handed me a stack of crisp hundred dollar bills. “Here is your security deposit, sir,” she said, matter-of-factly.
I folded the bills and shoved them into the front pocket of my cargo shorts. “I would give you a hug goodbye,” she said, stepping back and balancing her joint on the side of an ash tray, “but you’re all sweaty and dirty.”
“Nonsense!” I exclaimed. “Give me a hug!” Before she could react, I lunged forward and wrapped my big hairy, sweaty arms around her short, chubby body and squeezed her into me, making sure to smash her face into my wet, dirty bosom.
“Thanks for…everything,” I said. It might have sounded flippant, but in reality, deep down, I am grateful for Dr. Mary Jane. Yes, we didn’t always get along and she was a bully and she was loud and she forbade me to bring bacon in the house, but my two years in her apartment was a huge learning experience for me. I learned resourcefulness and tolerance. I learned to choose my battles and I learned the importance of standing up for myself. I wouldn’t want to necessarily do it again, but I also wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. Well, except maybe for a date with Usher.
I thought I would feel sentimental in some way, leaving that apartment for the last time, but I didn’t even give my empty room one last dramatic look. I just turned heel and took off, eager to get to my new apartment where I could play loud music, let boys spend the night and fill the fridge with pork products.
Change You Can Believe In: Yourself
Quick to Pass Judgment
Why Some People Hate Valentine’s Day
I’m Single on Valentine’s Day
My Secret Social Identity
What Exactly Is Dating? It’s Ambiguous.
Why Love Is Not a First Sight Thing
Chivalry Makes Women Feel Good
Relationship Experts: Hate The Player Or The Game?
The Double Standard of Men and Women
The Double Standard of Men and Women
The Double Standard of Men and Women
8 Ways to Make a Guy Not Want to Sleep with You
8 Ways to Make a Woman NOT Want to Sleep with You
Of course, these are just a couple of the reasons why I decided to move. I’m not even going to touch upon Dr. Mary Jane’s marijuana-fueled harmonica jam sessions or her utter disregard for privacy, quietness and bras.
Despite an afternoon thunderstorm, the day I moved was hot and the air was thick with a suffocating humidity. My white tee was soaked with rain and sweat and the front of it was browned with a dusting of dirt. Salty beads of sweat rolled down my baldhead and I looked- and smelled- like I had just sprinted through a marathon. After I packed the last box into the rental van, I returned to the apartment to give her my keys. Surprisingly, she handed me a stack of crisp hundred dollar bills. “Here is your security deposit, sir,” she said, matter-of-factly.
I folded the bills and shoved them into the front pocket of my cargo shorts. “I would give you a hug goodbye,” she said, stepping back and balancing her joint on the side of an ash tray, “but you’re all sweaty and dirty.”
“Nonsense!” I exclaimed. “Give me a hug!” Before she could react, I lunged forward and wrapped my big hairy, sweaty arms around her short, chubby body and squeezed her into me, making sure to smash her face into my wet, dirty bosom.
“Thanks for…everything,” I said. It might have sounded flippant, but in reality, deep down, I am grateful for Dr. Mary Jane. Yes, we didn’t always get along and she was a bully and she was loud and she forbade me to bring bacon in the house, but my two years in her apartment was a huge learning experience for me. I learned resourcefulness and tolerance. I learned to choose my battles and I learned the importance of standing up for myself. I wouldn’t want to necessarily do it again, but I also wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. Well, except maybe for a date with Usher.
I thought I would feel sentimental in some way, leaving that apartment for the last time, but I didn’t even give my empty room one last dramatic look. I just turned heel and took off, eager to get to my new apartment where I could play loud music, let boys spend the night and fill the fridge with pork products.
Début de l'événement
19.12.2022
Fin de l'événement
19.12.2022
How to Handle Anxiety in Online Dating: Confidence-Building Strategies
Description
What Do Women REALLY Want?
The Top 10 Natural PUA Film Characters
Relax Dude I Am Not Swinging From Your Nuts
How To Survive Dating a ‘Walking Smoker’
Setting Yourself Apart From the Herd
The Best Reasons to Withhold Your Cakes
He Finally Has Me And Now He’s Bored?
12 Things Dull People Do That Make Them Boring
The Independent Single Woman: Self-Satisfaction
October 29, 2009 11:30:00 PM EST
Anonymous said...
Damn your like the only black guru that's doing something for us brothas, and that is not retired from the game like others.. You know what your talking about, whether your dropping knowledge about game or how to act, you definitely know your shit... And thats from your methods alone.. To add, I check this blog everyday just to read about something you did, because I know its either funny or plain brilliance.. You inspire me to really become successful with women, and I hope that you can keep this blog online. There's more game advice in this blog, then what Pua's gurus even sell... thanks for the knowledge you've contributed
October 29, 2009 11:31:00 PM EST
Anonymous said...
I'll be sorry to see this go. It's the only blog of it's kind that makes sense in the real world. Not the fantasy bullshit that the majority of people write. There is a lot of truth in this stuff;some it uncomfortable but it's changed my life and the way I look at things. For the better.
October 30, 2009 8:18:00 PM EST
Lee Coles said...
Yeah, that time does come, and everyone knows when it arrives. I've always appreciated the insight, and sort of regarded you as my little (albeit tall) brother. You were and are The Man.
October 31, 2009 1:54:00 PM EST
Anonymous said...
Do what you gotta do. But dude, don't close this site down; this place has tangibly altered people's lives - including mine.
I don't think I could ever fully articulate the appreciation that I and many others share for the stuff you've done - so I'll just say thanks for all the great posts.
October 31, 2009 6:00:00 PM EST
Anonymous said...
NO, freaking way !!! I hope this is just an early retirement, like Jay-Z and Michael Jordan.
Please re-consider
November 1, 2009 8:53:00 AM EST
Anonymous said...
Assanova,
You are the man. We all appreciate what you've done. You are a pioneer in your own way and style, and you call other's out on their bullshit and don't deal with the hipocrisy that has become known as the pickup community. You recognize those that have real ability/talent and those that don't. You have great writing talent and you are charismatic in your works. My recommendation: Keep the site up because you don't want to lose out on years of your own archives/memories...and do a post quarterly/bi yearly/ or at least yearly to keep in touch with those of us that have truly benefitted from you.
The Top 10 Natural PUA Film Characters
Relax Dude I Am Not Swinging From Your Nuts
How To Survive Dating a ‘Walking Smoker’
Setting Yourself Apart From the Herd
The Best Reasons to Withhold Your Cakes
He Finally Has Me And Now He’s Bored?
12 Things Dull People Do That Make Them Boring
The Independent Single Woman: Self-Satisfaction
October 29, 2009 11:30:00 PM EST
Anonymous said...
Damn your like the only black guru that's doing something for us brothas, and that is not retired from the game like others.. You know what your talking about, whether your dropping knowledge about game or how to act, you definitely know your shit... And thats from your methods alone.. To add, I check this blog everyday just to read about something you did, because I know its either funny or plain brilliance.. You inspire me to really become successful with women, and I hope that you can keep this blog online. There's more game advice in this blog, then what Pua's gurus even sell... thanks for the knowledge you've contributed
October 29, 2009 11:31:00 PM EST
Anonymous said...
I'll be sorry to see this go. It's the only blog of it's kind that makes sense in the real world. Not the fantasy bullshit that the majority of people write. There is a lot of truth in this stuff;some it uncomfortable but it's changed my life and the way I look at things. For the better.
October 30, 2009 8:18:00 PM EST
Lee Coles said...
Yeah, that time does come, and everyone knows when it arrives. I've always appreciated the insight, and sort of regarded you as my little (albeit tall) brother. You were and are The Man.
October 31, 2009 1:54:00 PM EST
Anonymous said...
Do what you gotta do. But dude, don't close this site down; this place has tangibly altered people's lives - including mine.
I don't think I could ever fully articulate the appreciation that I and many others share for the stuff you've done - so I'll just say thanks for all the great posts.
October 31, 2009 6:00:00 PM EST
Anonymous said...
NO, freaking way !!! I hope this is just an early retirement, like Jay-Z and Michael Jordan.
Please re-consider
November 1, 2009 8:53:00 AM EST
Anonymous said...
Assanova,
You are the man. We all appreciate what you've done. You are a pioneer in your own way and style, and you call other's out on their bullshit and don't deal with the hipocrisy that has become known as the pickup community. You recognize those that have real ability/talent and those that don't. You have great writing talent and you are charismatic in your works. My recommendation: Keep the site up because you don't want to lose out on years of your own archives/memories...and do a post quarterly/bi yearly/ or at least yearly to keep in touch with those of us that have truly benefitted from you.
Début de l'événement
11.10.2022
Fin de l'événement
11.10.2022
I recently found out my husband was on this site
Description
The Top 10 White Lies People Tell In Online Dating Profiles
Things I Wish I Knew About Dating When I Was 22
8 Reasons You’re Single
Let’s Talk About Negging
What Are Your Pre-Date Nerves?
10 Things You Should Never Say To A Man In Bed
8 Things Men Want Women To Do In Bed
9 Things I Dread About Dating
I Wasn’t Jewish Enough
But it is what it is. New pussy was the single most exciting thing that has happened to me since the last time I had new pussy so many years ago. It was great just because it was different. I needed it like you need a massage or a vacation every so often. Being balls deep in another woman just for the sake of it was the thrill of a lifetime. I’ll definitely do it again sometime if I have the chance. No regrets but not down on family life either. In fact, I’m totally rejuvenated and looking forward to those never-ending travel team baseball games.
Billy had a mistress down on “A” and 12th
She was that little somethin’ that he did for himself
His own little secret didn’t hurt nobody…
Dr. Rosenpenis5 years agoReply
I recently found out my husband was on this site, hes either a liar or these women are just as foul if hes on here hooking up! well obviously a liar, but its disgusting to me that people would do this, how do you explain yourself to the “hook up” wouldnt a person feel like a giant pile of crap doing this and lying about it to themselves, their family and the new found friend, and if honest, these women need to realize that “not finding any decent men” is maybe more their fault than they think!
ED4 years agoReply
You are a judgmental bitch.
Have you been in a long marriage where you love your spouse, but they are always tired, distant, cold, unfeeling? Have you ever watched your relationship deteriorate into polite hellos and good nights….? Have you ever sacrificed your own happiness to save your children the hardship of a divorce. Have you ever waited through years of sadness just to keep your family together, because you love them too much to leave…no matter what you are treated like? Have you? If you haven’t then get off your high horse. Yes, maybe Tinder isn’t the best idea for a married man, but sometimes it takes getting caught to start the ending that his marriage obviously needed. Instead of making him feel bad and telling him he was creepy and that you and your friends were laughing at him, why not simply ignore him?
Things I Wish I Knew About Dating When I Was 22
8 Reasons You’re Single
Let’s Talk About Negging
What Are Your Pre-Date Nerves?
10 Things You Should Never Say To A Man In Bed
8 Things Men Want Women To Do In Bed
9 Things I Dread About Dating
I Wasn’t Jewish Enough
But it is what it is. New pussy was the single most exciting thing that has happened to me since the last time I had new pussy so many years ago. It was great just because it was different. I needed it like you need a massage or a vacation every so often. Being balls deep in another woman just for the sake of it was the thrill of a lifetime. I’ll definitely do it again sometime if I have the chance. No regrets but not down on family life either. In fact, I’m totally rejuvenated and looking forward to those never-ending travel team baseball games.
Billy had a mistress down on “A” and 12th
She was that little somethin’ that he did for himself
His own little secret didn’t hurt nobody…
Dr. Rosenpenis5 years agoReply
I recently found out my husband was on this site, hes either a liar or these women are just as foul if hes on here hooking up! well obviously a liar, but its disgusting to me that people would do this, how do you explain yourself to the “hook up” wouldnt a person feel like a giant pile of crap doing this and lying about it to themselves, their family and the new found friend, and if honest, these women need to realize that “not finding any decent men” is maybe more their fault than they think!
ED4 years agoReply
You are a judgmental bitch.
Have you been in a long marriage where you love your spouse, but they are always tired, distant, cold, unfeeling? Have you ever watched your relationship deteriorate into polite hellos and good nights….? Have you ever sacrificed your own happiness to save your children the hardship of a divorce. Have you ever waited through years of sadness just to keep your family together, because you love them too much to leave…no matter what you are treated like? Have you? If you haven’t then get off your high horse. Yes, maybe Tinder isn’t the best idea for a married man, but sometimes it takes getting caught to start the ending that his marriage obviously needed. Instead of making him feel bad and telling him he was creepy and that you and your friends were laughing at him, why not simply ignore him?
Début de l'événement
25.02.2025
Fin de l'événement
25.02.2025
Killing Prince Charming
Description
A Relationship Evolved (and Happy Birthday To My Ex)
The Unforgettable First Kiss
Jealousy Versus Envy
Love Addict: The Pregnancy Dilemma
How Do You Help Someone Who Doesn’t Want Help?
Most Radical Relationship Books On the Market
We Hold Ourselves Back
What Happens When You Actually In Relationship??
Is a Same-Sex Encounter Important in Living Holistically?
You’re a Selfish Bitch and That’s Why You’re Not Married
Learning How to Love Yourself
Love Addict: Writing the Personal
How Do You Learn to Let Go?
I always used to hear people tell stories about how they met their spouse. It was always the story that, after all the romantic nonsense went away, they found their partner in the most god awful, non-romantic way imaginable. While I still held onto the belief that soul mates and fairy tale romantic stories still existed, I rebuffed these people and their horrible stories. It was always sad to me that they were so jaded and bitter and hurt that they lost faith in the fairy tale. I promised myself back then that I would never lose my fairy tale. prince charming on horse funny
Then over the years, life happened. I got older, hurt, jaded and bitter. And then one day I realized I lost the fairy tale. The hope that my Prince Charming would ride in on his white horse and rescue me from my life disappeared. I no longer wanted a Prince Charming because now I knew that Prince Charming was just looking for the next girl to bang, and would eventually leave me with heartbreak. On the day that it all changed, I finally knew that it was time to let go because I couldn’t take any more devastating heartbreaks.
It’s going to take a lot of alcohol to get sucked in by him again.
That day, my fairy tale turned into another lame story, one of the stories I promised never to be. Instead of Prince Charming, I wanted the “safe” guy. I was suddenly open to the guy who liked me, the one who was knocking down my door instead of the other way around. Even though I didn’t like him, he would eventually wear me down and I would start to date him, just like in all those other couples’ stories I heard before. And dating would turn into marriage, and I would learn to love him, and depend on him and rely on him. And I would be “happy” and never look back. I would never long for a fairy tale story again because I was married and happy to someone who treated me like I deserved to be treated.
And even though I know a little piece of me dies as I write this, I also know my fragile self cannot take one more heartbreak. In an act of self preservation, I have chosen to kill the fairy tale before the fairy tale kills me.
The Unforgettable First Kiss
Jealousy Versus Envy
Love Addict: The Pregnancy Dilemma
How Do You Help Someone Who Doesn’t Want Help?
Most Radical Relationship Books On the Market
We Hold Ourselves Back
What Happens When You Actually In Relationship??
Is a Same-Sex Encounter Important in Living Holistically?
You’re a Selfish Bitch and That’s Why You’re Not Married
Learning How to Love Yourself
Love Addict: Writing the Personal
How Do You Learn to Let Go?
I always used to hear people tell stories about how they met their spouse. It was always the story that, after all the romantic nonsense went away, they found their partner in the most god awful, non-romantic way imaginable. While I still held onto the belief that soul mates and fairy tale romantic stories still existed, I rebuffed these people and their horrible stories. It was always sad to me that they were so jaded and bitter and hurt that they lost faith in the fairy tale. I promised myself back then that I would never lose my fairy tale. prince charming on horse funny
Then over the years, life happened. I got older, hurt, jaded and bitter. And then one day I realized I lost the fairy tale. The hope that my Prince Charming would ride in on his white horse and rescue me from my life disappeared. I no longer wanted a Prince Charming because now I knew that Prince Charming was just looking for the next girl to bang, and would eventually leave me with heartbreak. On the day that it all changed, I finally knew that it was time to let go because I couldn’t take any more devastating heartbreaks.
It’s going to take a lot of alcohol to get sucked in by him again.
That day, my fairy tale turned into another lame story, one of the stories I promised never to be. Instead of Prince Charming, I wanted the “safe” guy. I was suddenly open to the guy who liked me, the one who was knocking down my door instead of the other way around. Even though I didn’t like him, he would eventually wear me down and I would start to date him, just like in all those other couples’ stories I heard before. And dating would turn into marriage, and I would learn to love him, and depend on him and rely on him. And I would be “happy” and never look back. I would never long for a fairy tale story again because I was married and happy to someone who treated me like I deserved to be treated.
And even though I know a little piece of me dies as I write this, I also know my fragile self cannot take one more heartbreak. In an act of self preservation, I have chosen to kill the fairy tale before the fairy tale kills me.
Début de l'événement
16.01.2021
Fin de l'événement
16.01.2021
Love and Laughter: How to Enjoy Online Dating
Description
5 Dumb Reasons People Use to Avoid Dating
The Six Part Guide To Keeping A Woman Happy
Many Faces of Man
The Real Key to a Lasting Marriage
The Dumbest Arguments Couples Have
Recognizing a Toxic Partner Before It’s Too Late
Debunking Of Six Commonly Held Relationship Fallacies
Two Surefire Ways To Ensure Your Happiness
Dating Mistake That Educated Women Make
Living Together Before Marriage Is A Good Idea?
The Secret to Male Happiness
I know…and it was still entertaining
Reply
55pinksghetti { 06.23.09 at 10:00 am }
Some movies I like but the critics disagree are: “Undercover Brother” that movie was so funny. I like Eddie Griffith he is really funny in an old fashion Sammy Davis Jr mixed with modern comedy. I don’t know who the other person is, lol, it is kind of social commentary and comedy. Another one I liked is “Malibu’s Most Wanted” that movie was also funny and I like the whole plot within a plot (where Taye Diggs and Anthony Anderson were actors pretending to be gangstas, it reminded me of that old Sprite commercials with the two Shakesperean dudes who pretended to be “street”). Another movie which gets no love is “B.A.P.S” I know it’s politely incorrect and all but that movie was funny and Halle Berry really showed her acting range with broad comedy.
First off, Happy (Day After) Father’s Day to all the father’s of VSB. Good job.
This past weekend, I finally saw Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes To Jail. Now slap me silly and call me Susan, but it seems to me like his movies are getting better. Granted, Madea Goes To Jail seemed like two movies that they tried to make into one (there were actually times that I forgot I was watching a Madea-focused movie) but I wasn’t appalled at myself after it went off. And I’ve been mad at myself for watching Tyler Perry movies before.
Now that isn’t to say that it was a great movie or anything, but I found it entertaining enough. I know that sounds like blasphemy but I’m going to run blasphemy into the ground today so strap up, Sally Ride.
Tyler Perry movies serve as a perfect segue into thinking about some movies that actually are much better than they’re given credit for because, well, most of his movies completely suck. Then again, maybe we’re looking at them wrong, and his movies aren’t the only ones. You see there are two movies that are way better than they get credit for and today, they’re going to get their due.
And what movies are those?
Baby Boy and You Got Served
The Six Part Guide To Keeping A Woman Happy
Many Faces of Man
The Real Key to a Lasting Marriage
The Dumbest Arguments Couples Have
Recognizing a Toxic Partner Before It’s Too Late
Debunking Of Six Commonly Held Relationship Fallacies
Two Surefire Ways To Ensure Your Happiness
Dating Mistake That Educated Women Make
Living Together Before Marriage Is A Good Idea?
The Secret to Male Happiness
I know…and it was still entertaining
Reply
55pinksghetti { 06.23.09 at 10:00 am }
Some movies I like but the critics disagree are: “Undercover Brother” that movie was so funny. I like Eddie Griffith he is really funny in an old fashion Sammy Davis Jr mixed with modern comedy. I don’t know who the other person is, lol, it is kind of social commentary and comedy. Another one I liked is “Malibu’s Most Wanted” that movie was also funny and I like the whole plot within a plot (where Taye Diggs and Anthony Anderson were actors pretending to be gangstas, it reminded me of that old Sprite commercials with the two Shakesperean dudes who pretended to be “street”). Another movie which gets no love is “B.A.P.S” I know it’s politely incorrect and all but that movie was funny and Halle Berry really showed her acting range with broad comedy.
First off, Happy (Day After) Father’s Day to all the father’s of VSB. Good job.
This past weekend, I finally saw Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes To Jail. Now slap me silly and call me Susan, but it seems to me like his movies are getting better. Granted, Madea Goes To Jail seemed like two movies that they tried to make into one (there were actually times that I forgot I was watching a Madea-focused movie) but I wasn’t appalled at myself after it went off. And I’ve been mad at myself for watching Tyler Perry movies before.
Now that isn’t to say that it was a great movie or anything, but I found it entertaining enough. I know that sounds like blasphemy but I’m going to run blasphemy into the ground today so strap up, Sally Ride.
Tyler Perry movies serve as a perfect segue into thinking about some movies that actually are much better than they’re given credit for because, well, most of his movies completely suck. Then again, maybe we’re looking at them wrong, and his movies aren’t the only ones. You see there are two movies that are way better than they get credit for and today, they’re going to get their due.
And what movies are those?
Baby Boy and You Got Served
Début de l'événement
25.10.2021
Fin de l'événement
25.10.2021
Love on Vacation
Description
How Pocket-Dialing Can C*ckblock You
Attack of The Killer Ex
How To Deal With A Psycho Ex During The Holidays
Attention Mongers Crybabies and Dramaheads
25 Signals You're Not Ready For a Online Dating
5 Skills Every Man And Woman Should Master
Can Sex Be A Laughing Matter?
The Sh*t Women Say That Piss Off Men
Dating a Jersey Shore Fan
Dealing With Exes on Valentine’s Day
A Decent Girl For a Nice Guy
So, you went on several bad dates you found through online personals. You got some free xxx, you had a little fun, you gave up, you started again, and you finally found someone promising. Someone who makes you want to be the person you pretend you are.
So, what next? Why not go on a mini-vacation together? Vacations can be dangerous for a new romance, but they are also truth tellers. They can tell you if you’re truly crazy about a person, or if you never want to see them ever again. Here are three suggestions for mini-vacays that won’t fail.
1. Wine Country
Plan a trip to the nearest winery. Do a wine tour. Get drunk in the sun. Stay in an inn. Eat croissants.
2. Quebec City
Canada! (Is Awesome.) And Quebec is a mix of romance and spite. The French people hate everyone, and you will be united with your lover in feeling hated. The food kicks ass. The scenery is stunning. Bed & Breakfasts are cheap and gorgeous. Avoid winter, unless you’s a rugged type.
3. Arizona
Climb the red mountains. Swim in a cheap motel pool. Feel super fit and beautiful next to the rather obese population of this odd state.
Attack of The Killer Ex
How To Deal With A Psycho Ex During The Holidays
Attention Mongers Crybabies and Dramaheads
25 Signals You're Not Ready For a Online Dating
5 Skills Every Man And Woman Should Master
Can Sex Be A Laughing Matter?
The Sh*t Women Say That Piss Off Men
Dating a Jersey Shore Fan
Dealing With Exes on Valentine’s Day
A Decent Girl For a Nice Guy
So, you went on several bad dates you found through online personals. You got some free xxx, you had a little fun, you gave up, you started again, and you finally found someone promising. Someone who makes you want to be the person you pretend you are.
So, what next? Why not go on a mini-vacation together? Vacations can be dangerous for a new romance, but they are also truth tellers. They can tell you if you’re truly crazy about a person, or if you never want to see them ever again. Here are three suggestions for mini-vacays that won’t fail.
1. Wine Country
Plan a trip to the nearest winery. Do a wine tour. Get drunk in the sun. Stay in an inn. Eat croissants.
2. Quebec City
Canada! (Is Awesome.) And Quebec is a mix of romance and spite. The French people hate everyone, and you will be united with your lover in feeling hated. The food kicks ass. The scenery is stunning. Bed & Breakfasts are cheap and gorgeous. Avoid winter, unless you’s a rugged type.
3. Arizona
Climb the red mountains. Swim in a cheap motel pool. Feel super fit and beautiful next to the rather obese population of this odd state.
Début de l'événement
13.12.2023
Fin de l'événement
13.12.2023
Men and Relationship Abuse: Why the Silence is Deafening
Description
5 Signs That You Just Might Have To Marry Her Ass
Things You Should Never Say To a Black Woman.
Male Solutions To Common Women Problems
Things I Just Don’t Get About Women
Valentine’s Day Date Options That Won’t Cost You A Fortune
Things That You Just Shouldn’t Do While Dating
Valentine’s Day Alternatives for Those Without Plans Or People To Plan Stuff With
Why Your “Number” Matters So Much Yo Us
They Are Cheating On You With A Friend Of Yours
Reply
257Imani July 18, 2011 at 3:07 am
This really got me thinking. So i’ve only given like 2 or 3 comments to any guy i have ever dated but weirdly enough i find it totally easy to give compliments to random strangers. I just approached this guy in the bus like 2 days ago & told him how totally hot i thought he was & walked off. That’s all i wanted to say but he follows me & asks for my number which i decline to give, sometimes a compliment is just that…a compliment. Say thanks & keep it moving, i don’t necessarily want to get in your pants.
Reply
258YouHadMeAtHello July 18, 2011 at 5:13 am
This happens to me ALL the time!
Reply
259YouHadMeAtHello July 18, 2011 at 5:14 am
This happens to me ALL the time…some people just don’t get it! SMH
Reply
260YouHadMeAtHello July 18, 2011 at 5:17 am
This happens to me ALL the time…some people just don’t get it! SMH
P.S: I just read the profile (Jenesis Magazine)…I’m just so proud of you guys! Turning this to a show would be AWESOME!!! Can’t wait!
Reply
261YouHadMeAtHello July 18, 2011 at 11:48 am
^”Uuh, did I do that?” (Frank spencer’s voice)
My bad! Blame it on bad network
Reply
262DanceHallKing July 18, 2011 at 9:24 am
More proof that women like to torture men.
Reply
263keisha brown July 18, 2011 at 12:52 pm
Things You Should Never Say To a Black Woman.
Male Solutions To Common Women Problems
Things I Just Don’t Get About Women
Valentine’s Day Date Options That Won’t Cost You A Fortune
Things That You Just Shouldn’t Do While Dating
Valentine’s Day Alternatives for Those Without Plans Or People To Plan Stuff With
Why Your “Number” Matters So Much Yo Us
They Are Cheating On You With A Friend Of Yours
Reply
257Imani July 18, 2011 at 3:07 am
This really got me thinking. So i’ve only given like 2 or 3 comments to any guy i have ever dated but weirdly enough i find it totally easy to give compliments to random strangers. I just approached this guy in the bus like 2 days ago & told him how totally hot i thought he was & walked off. That’s all i wanted to say but he follows me & asks for my number which i decline to give, sometimes a compliment is just that…a compliment. Say thanks & keep it moving, i don’t necessarily want to get in your pants.
Reply
258YouHadMeAtHello July 18, 2011 at 5:13 am
This happens to me ALL the time!
Reply
259YouHadMeAtHello July 18, 2011 at 5:14 am
This happens to me ALL the time…some people just don’t get it! SMH
Reply
260YouHadMeAtHello July 18, 2011 at 5:17 am
This happens to me ALL the time…some people just don’t get it! SMH
P.S: I just read the profile (Jenesis Magazine)…I’m just so proud of you guys! Turning this to a show would be AWESOME!!! Can’t wait!
Reply
261YouHadMeAtHello July 18, 2011 at 11:48 am
^”Uuh, did I do that?” (Frank spencer’s voice)
My bad! Blame it on bad network
Reply
262DanceHallKing July 18, 2011 at 9:24 am
More proof that women like to torture men.
Reply
263keisha brown July 18, 2011 at 12:52 pm
Début de l'événement
08.10.2022
Fin de l'événement
08.10.2022
Night Out Etiquette: Dating in the Nightlife Scene
Description
Things You Should Never Tell Your Dating Partner
Why Romantic Comedies Might Ruin Your Love Life
The Pitfalls of Long-Distance Dating
A Humorous Take on Culture, Fun, and Dating Standards
Whats In A Name?
The Loveawake Guide to One-Night Stand Etiquette
Advice to My Younger Self
3 Signs That You Might Be A Bitter Man
Let’s Be Friends.
Roses
Men Temptation and Commitment
Night Out Etiquette: Nightlife Etiquette Loveawake Style
Monogamy for Dummies
Oh No (S)He Didn’t!
The Dangers of Rating Your Girlfriend
—————————
Nothing new here.
Feminism has always been a wallflower’s movement.
Attractive women don’t consider themselves feminists (but they are) because they have no need for feminism.
What woman wants feminism when men treat her like royalty without it?
Wallflowers, by contrast, are for feminism because they think that the way we treat pretty girls is something that ALL women are entitled to (it is, in truth, the female equivalent of the male sex entitlement mentality that they complain about).
The important thing to note is how these young women’s attitudes shift when they start losing their looks.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 32 Thumb down 0
Jim July 21, 2014 at 22:54
“Even if women are in fact rejecting feminism”
They’re not really. They have achieved through white knight and mangina politicians and courts SUPERIORITY. That’s why they’re “rejecting” it. Give them REAL equality (am impossibility anyway) and they’ll make a mad dash back to feminism. That’s if they’ve actually really left it in the first place.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 29 Thumb down 0
greyghost July 21, 2014 at 23:25
These are young women. Just as old blue pill men say “respect” women young men (teenagers) are like fuck them bitches and mean it. My job has me in contact with young men and when you talk to them they see things red pill style. Young women are going to pay the price for their mothers and grand mothers. And they know it. The wicked selfishness of women is there and always has been. A “good” woman is the same nasty bitch filing for the frivorce for the house and kids. It is just a better deal to be nice to the guy. just the way it is and always has been. No woman is virtuous only some behave with virtue so you will think of them as virtuous. Good enough she gets the dick and I’ll fix her car and she can fix dinner and put the clothes in the washing machine.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 21 Thumb down 1
chinesefootsoldier July 22, 2014 at 00:53
Why Romantic Comedies Might Ruin Your Love Life
The Pitfalls of Long-Distance Dating
A Humorous Take on Culture, Fun, and Dating Standards
Whats In A Name?
The Loveawake Guide to One-Night Stand Etiquette
Advice to My Younger Self
3 Signs That You Might Be A Bitter Man
Let’s Be Friends.
Roses
Men Temptation and Commitment
Night Out Etiquette: Nightlife Etiquette Loveawake Style
Monogamy for Dummies
Oh No (S)He Didn’t!
The Dangers of Rating Your Girlfriend
—————————
Nothing new here.
Feminism has always been a wallflower’s movement.
Attractive women don’t consider themselves feminists (but they are) because they have no need for feminism.
What woman wants feminism when men treat her like royalty without it?
Wallflowers, by contrast, are for feminism because they think that the way we treat pretty girls is something that ALL women are entitled to (it is, in truth, the female equivalent of the male sex entitlement mentality that they complain about).
The important thing to note is how these young women’s attitudes shift when they start losing their looks.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 32 Thumb down 0
Jim July 21, 2014 at 22:54
“Even if women are in fact rejecting feminism”
They’re not really. They have achieved through white knight and mangina politicians and courts SUPERIORITY. That’s why they’re “rejecting” it. Give them REAL equality (am impossibility anyway) and they’ll make a mad dash back to feminism. That’s if they’ve actually really left it in the first place.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 29 Thumb down 0
greyghost July 21, 2014 at 23:25
These are young women. Just as old blue pill men say “respect” women young men (teenagers) are like fuck them bitches and mean it. My job has me in contact with young men and when you talk to them they see things red pill style. Young women are going to pay the price for their mothers and grand mothers. And they know it. The wicked selfishness of women is there and always has been. A “good” woman is the same nasty bitch filing for the frivorce for the house and kids. It is just a better deal to be nice to the guy. just the way it is and always has been. No woman is virtuous only some behave with virtue so you will think of them as virtuous. Good enough she gets the dick and I’ll fix her car and she can fix dinner and put the clothes in the washing machine.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 21 Thumb down 1
chinesefootsoldier July 22, 2014 at 00:53
Début de l'événement
06.11.2021
Fin de l'événement
06.11.2021
Phishing SMS and Netflix: What You Need to Know
Description
In today's digital age, streaming services like Netflix have become an essential part of our entertainment experience. However, issues with Netflix, including Netflix not working, frequent crashes, or slow Netflix streams, can be frustrating. Meanwhile, another growing concern is the rise of phishing SMS messages targeting unsuspecting users. In this article, we'll explore how these two issues intersect, offering tips on how to deal with common Netflix problems and avoid falling for phishing scams.
Phishing SMS and Netflix Accounts
phishing sms netflix have become an increasingly prevalent way for cybercriminals to steal personal information. Phishing SMS messages are text messages that appear legitimate but are designed to deceive you into revealing sensitive data, such as your login credentials, payment information, or personal identity details.
For Netflix users, phishing SMS often masquerades as a service alert or warning about your account. For example, you might receive a message claiming that your Netflix account has been suspended due to suspicious activity and that you need to click a link to verify your account or update payment information. These messages can seem official and may even use Netflix's logo or other recognizable elements. However, they are usually malicious, aiming to steal your login credentials or infect your device with malware.
If you ever receive such a message, it's crucial to avoid clicking on any links or providing any personal information. Instead, always visit the Netflix website directly or open the Netflix app to check your account status.
why does my netflix keep crashing?
One common issue Netflix users face is the app or website frequently crashing. Netflix not working can occur for various reasons, and knowing how to fix it is essential. A variety of factors could be at play:
Device Compatibility: Sometimes, Netflix may not be compatible with older devices or operating systems. If you find that your Netflix app keeps crashing, ensure that both your device and app are updated to the latest versions.
Poor Internet Connection: A weak or fluctuating internet connection can lead to Netflix streaming issues, including constant crashes. Check your Wi-Fi connection speed and ensure that your internet bandwidth is sufficient for streaming HD or 4K content.
Cache or App Bugs: Over time, the app's cache might accumulate corrupted data, which can result in Netflix crashing unexpectedly. Clearing the app cache or reinstalling the app can often resolve these issues.
Outdated App or Browser: If you are using Netflix on a browser or an app, make sure you're using the latest version. Older versions of the app or browser may be incompatible with Netflix’s latest updates, leading to crashes.
netflix streams slow: Causes and Fixes
Another common complaint among Netflix users is slow Netflix streams. Watching a show or movie on Netflix only to encounter constant buffering can ruin your viewing experience. Several factors contribute to slow streaming on Netflix, and understanding them can help improve your experience:
Internet Speed: One of the most common causes of slow Netflix streams is an insufficient internet connection. Netflix recommends at least 3 Mbps for SD quality, 5 Mbps for HD, and 25 Mbps for 4K streaming. Check your internet speed and, if possible, switch to a higher-speed plan to improve performance.
Network Congestion: Sometimes, slow Netflix streams occur because many devices are connected to your home network, consuming bandwidth. Try limiting the number of devices connected or prioritize your streaming device to enhance performance.
Netflix Server Issues: Occasionally, Netflix servers themselves may experience issues, leading to slow streaming for all users in a particular region. If you notice Netflix streaming issues across multiple devices, it may be worth checking Netflix’s official Twitter account or service status page for updates.
Router Settings: The type of Wi-Fi router you're using can also affect streaming speeds. Older routers might not support the speeds required for smooth Netflix viewing. Consider upgrading to a newer router that supports higher speeds and better signal strength.
Protecting Yourself from Phishing SMS
As phishing scams become more sophisticated, it's important to take proactive steps to safeguard your Netflix account and personal information. Here are some tips to protect yourself from phishing SMS:
Don't Trust Unknown Senders: Always be cautious of unsolicited messages. Phishing SMS messages often appear to come from Netflix or other trusted companies but are from unknown numbers.
Enable Two-Factor Authentication (2FA): Netflix supports two-factor authentication, which can add an extra layer of security to your account. Enabling 2FA will make it harder for hackers to access your account, even if they obtain your login details.
Look for Red Flags: Phishing messages often contain subtle red flags, such as urgent language, spelling errors, or suspicious links. Avoid clicking on links in these messages, and always navigate directly to the official Netflix website if you're uncertain.
Use Security Software: Keep your devices protected with up-to-date antivirus or anti-malware software. These tools can help detect malicious links or attachments in phishing SMS messages.
Conclusion
Dealing with issues like netflix does not work, Netflix crashes, or slow Netflix streams can be frustrating, but most of the time, these problems are fixable with a few simple troubleshooting steps. At the same time, it's important to stay vigilant against phishing SMS scams that could compromise your Netflix account and personal data. By following best practices for account security and staying aware of common phishing techniques, you can ensure a safer and smoother Netflix experience.
Phishing SMS and Netflix Accounts
phishing sms netflix have become an increasingly prevalent way for cybercriminals to steal personal information. Phishing SMS messages are text messages that appear legitimate but are designed to deceive you into revealing sensitive data, such as your login credentials, payment information, or personal identity details.
For Netflix users, phishing SMS often masquerades as a service alert or warning about your account. For example, you might receive a message claiming that your Netflix account has been suspended due to suspicious activity and that you need to click a link to verify your account or update payment information. These messages can seem official and may even use Netflix's logo or other recognizable elements. However, they are usually malicious, aiming to steal your login credentials or infect your device with malware.
If you ever receive such a message, it's crucial to avoid clicking on any links or providing any personal information. Instead, always visit the Netflix website directly or open the Netflix app to check your account status.
why does my netflix keep crashing?
One common issue Netflix users face is the app or website frequently crashing. Netflix not working can occur for various reasons, and knowing how to fix it is essential. A variety of factors could be at play:
Device Compatibility: Sometimes, Netflix may not be compatible with older devices or operating systems. If you find that your Netflix app keeps crashing, ensure that both your device and app are updated to the latest versions.
Poor Internet Connection: A weak or fluctuating internet connection can lead to Netflix streaming issues, including constant crashes. Check your Wi-Fi connection speed and ensure that your internet bandwidth is sufficient for streaming HD or 4K content.
Cache or App Bugs: Over time, the app's cache might accumulate corrupted data, which can result in Netflix crashing unexpectedly. Clearing the app cache or reinstalling the app can often resolve these issues.
Outdated App or Browser: If you are using Netflix on a browser or an app, make sure you're using the latest version. Older versions of the app or browser may be incompatible with Netflix’s latest updates, leading to crashes.
netflix streams slow: Causes and Fixes
Another common complaint among Netflix users is slow Netflix streams. Watching a show or movie on Netflix only to encounter constant buffering can ruin your viewing experience. Several factors contribute to slow streaming on Netflix, and understanding them can help improve your experience:
Internet Speed: One of the most common causes of slow Netflix streams is an insufficient internet connection. Netflix recommends at least 3 Mbps for SD quality, 5 Mbps for HD, and 25 Mbps for 4K streaming. Check your internet speed and, if possible, switch to a higher-speed plan to improve performance.
Network Congestion: Sometimes, slow Netflix streams occur because many devices are connected to your home network, consuming bandwidth. Try limiting the number of devices connected or prioritize your streaming device to enhance performance.
Netflix Server Issues: Occasionally, Netflix servers themselves may experience issues, leading to slow streaming for all users in a particular region. If you notice Netflix streaming issues across multiple devices, it may be worth checking Netflix’s official Twitter account or service status page for updates.
Router Settings: The type of Wi-Fi router you're using can also affect streaming speeds. Older routers might not support the speeds required for smooth Netflix viewing. Consider upgrading to a newer router that supports higher speeds and better signal strength.
Protecting Yourself from Phishing SMS
As phishing scams become more sophisticated, it's important to take proactive steps to safeguard your Netflix account and personal information. Here are some tips to protect yourself from phishing SMS:
Don't Trust Unknown Senders: Always be cautious of unsolicited messages. Phishing SMS messages often appear to come from Netflix or other trusted companies but are from unknown numbers.
Enable Two-Factor Authentication (2FA): Netflix supports two-factor authentication, which can add an extra layer of security to your account. Enabling 2FA will make it harder for hackers to access your account, even if they obtain your login details.
Look for Red Flags: Phishing messages often contain subtle red flags, such as urgent language, spelling errors, or suspicious links. Avoid clicking on links in these messages, and always navigate directly to the official Netflix website if you're uncertain.
Use Security Software: Keep your devices protected with up-to-date antivirus or anti-malware software. These tools can help detect malicious links or attachments in phishing SMS messages.
Conclusion
Dealing with issues like netflix does not work, Netflix crashes, or slow Netflix streams can be frustrating, but most of the time, these problems are fixable with a few simple troubleshooting steps. At the same time, it's important to stay vigilant against phishing SMS scams that could compromise your Netflix account and personal data. By following best practices for account security and staying aware of common phishing techniques, you can ensure a safer and smoother Netflix experience.
Début de l'événement
02.04.2022
Fin de l'événement
02.04.2022
Players vs. Game: Rethinking Relationship Advice
Description
The Road Map to Love
Patriarchy Stole My Power and Now I'm Gonna Take it Back!
Digging Up Negative Dating Patterns
The Mama's Boy Myth
The Majority of "Dating Crimes" Are In Our Heads
The Dating Chase
The Physics of Relationships
Dating While "Fat"
Men Are Hardwired to Cheat And Other Silly Stories
The Conservative Backlash Towards Attempts to Liberate Relationships
Seeking to Change Your Partner
Sluts Studs And Straightjaket Sexuality
Except for the fact that I live in the US, I could have written your comment. I love that GWS strip.
Pretty good 101 post, most of the assumptions about what me being bi means (indecisive, greedy, really gay) have come from the gay community so i think someone laying on the line that these are not OK is really important.
most of the assumptions about what me being bi means (indecisive, greedy, really gay) have come from the gay community
Straight people do not make these assumptions about you as well?
That’s a very common thing that folks seeking to be ugly to other folks (even subtly, politely ugly) do…..reduce a human being in all of that person’s complexity to the worst possible assumption of that person. For bi people, it’s sexual appetite. (Compare to, say, gay men, where it’s pedophilia.)
I’m not speaking for Jemima, but the “really gay” has come exclusively from gay people for me. The rest is pretty evenly distributed between gay and straight people.
Same here. I was once flirting with this black woman in a bar and the convo basically went:
Me: Blah blah i’m mixed-
Her: You look like a black woman so that’s what you are…
Me:…
Her: blah blah lesbians, amiright?
Me: I’m bi
Her: ohhh such a cute little baby! When you come out as lesbian you’ll understand-now about your misguided career choice…
Patriarchy Stole My Power and Now I'm Gonna Take it Back!
Digging Up Negative Dating Patterns
The Mama's Boy Myth
The Majority of "Dating Crimes" Are In Our Heads
The Dating Chase
The Physics of Relationships
Dating While "Fat"
Men Are Hardwired to Cheat And Other Silly Stories
The Conservative Backlash Towards Attempts to Liberate Relationships
Seeking to Change Your Partner
Sluts Studs And Straightjaket Sexuality
Except for the fact that I live in the US, I could have written your comment. I love that GWS strip.
Pretty good 101 post, most of the assumptions about what me being bi means (indecisive, greedy, really gay) have come from the gay community so i think someone laying on the line that these are not OK is really important.
most of the assumptions about what me being bi means (indecisive, greedy, really gay) have come from the gay community
Straight people do not make these assumptions about you as well?
That’s a very common thing that folks seeking to be ugly to other folks (even subtly, politely ugly) do…..reduce a human being in all of that person’s complexity to the worst possible assumption of that person. For bi people, it’s sexual appetite. (Compare to, say, gay men, where it’s pedophilia.)
I’m not speaking for Jemima, but the “really gay” has come exclusively from gay people for me. The rest is pretty evenly distributed between gay and straight people.
Same here. I was once flirting with this black woman in a bar and the convo basically went:
Me: Blah blah i’m mixed-
Her: You look like a black woman so that’s what you are…
Me:…
Her: blah blah lesbians, amiright?
Me: I’m bi
Her: ohhh such a cute little baby! When you come out as lesbian you’ll understand-now about your misguided career choice…
Début de l'événement
25.12.2023
Fin de l'événement
25.12.2023
Réu du groupe de W
Description
Réunion à distance du groupe de travail pour l'élaboration du projet
Début de l'événement
20.06.2023 - 16:00
Fin de l'événement
20.06.2023 - 17:30
Adresse url
https://ca.meet.coop/col-mjz-ueh-wdw
Réu groupe de travail
Début de l'événement
12.09.2023 - 18:30
Fin de l'événement
12.09.2023 - 20:00
Safety First: How to Spot and Avoid Romance Scams
Description
Rediscovering Love on My Own Terms
Single Men Who Want More Women
Open Letter To Men Who Want More
For Men Who Love Poly Dating
Progressive Love Applauds Too $hort
Is Love the Most Feared Emotion?
Love Kills Self Love & Self Esteem
Are Nagging & Cheating Equally Damaging?
Why Do We Fall In Love? Is It Healthy?
Why Master Monogamy
What should really be mentioned at this point is that if your date (be they male or female) has issues like this, it is perfectly acceptable to take a reasonable look at the situation and conclude that it’s not something you can handle. I was lucky…my FwB had previous experience with teens/young adults who’d been abused, and a past girlfriend had been raped by a relative. He understood the difficulties in helping someone relearn that touch I= humiliation or pain. Personally, it took over 9 months of us being “together” before we could have sex. Now we’ve been FwB for over 8 years, so obviously it worked out for us.
BUT! If he hadn’t known how to do any of that and we simply remained normal friends, that would’ve been okay. It is nobody’s responsibility to fix anyone else, and no man or woman should be guilted into dating someone who needs to work on emotional issues, especially if these issues would drastically affect the potential relationship. It is fine to understand your own boundaries and abilities, and it is responsible to recognize that you may not be mentally or emotionally equipped to deal with such things.
Reply ↓
cecilhenry on January 10, 2015 at 7:41 PM said:
Don;t like to be touched is some kind of problem???
Not at all—except maybe for the one denied.
Being touched, like any physical intimacy is voluntary and based on a wish to have contact with someone else. It is discriminatory and selective—otherwise it can neither be moral or intimate.
One is only touched by something or someone they want contact with—that such a simple fact is missed says more about the one upset by this fact. Why are you afraid of boundaries???
Your wish to touch may be a means to hide other motivations by forcing emotional reactions.
Nothing to do with abuse (although that could be another cause, but ofter abused people lack boundaries).
I like to touch some people-depends now doesn;t it??? It would have to!!!!
The short-sightness and insularity of this article astounds. Stop and think this over again.
Single Men Who Want More Women
Open Letter To Men Who Want More
For Men Who Love Poly Dating
Progressive Love Applauds Too $hort
Is Love the Most Feared Emotion?
Love Kills Self Love & Self Esteem
Are Nagging & Cheating Equally Damaging?
Why Do We Fall In Love? Is It Healthy?
Why Master Monogamy
What should really be mentioned at this point is that if your date (be they male or female) has issues like this, it is perfectly acceptable to take a reasonable look at the situation and conclude that it’s not something you can handle. I was lucky…my FwB had previous experience with teens/young adults who’d been abused, and a past girlfriend had been raped by a relative. He understood the difficulties in helping someone relearn that touch I= humiliation or pain. Personally, it took over 9 months of us being “together” before we could have sex. Now we’ve been FwB for over 8 years, so obviously it worked out for us.
BUT! If he hadn’t known how to do any of that and we simply remained normal friends, that would’ve been okay. It is nobody’s responsibility to fix anyone else, and no man or woman should be guilted into dating someone who needs to work on emotional issues, especially if these issues would drastically affect the potential relationship. It is fine to understand your own boundaries and abilities, and it is responsible to recognize that you may not be mentally or emotionally equipped to deal with such things.
Reply ↓
cecilhenry on January 10, 2015 at 7:41 PM said:
Don;t like to be touched is some kind of problem???
Not at all—except maybe for the one denied.
Being touched, like any physical intimacy is voluntary and based on a wish to have contact with someone else. It is discriminatory and selective—otherwise it can neither be moral or intimate.
One is only touched by something or someone they want contact with—that such a simple fact is missed says more about the one upset by this fact. Why are you afraid of boundaries???
Your wish to touch may be a means to hide other motivations by forcing emotional reactions.
Nothing to do with abuse (although that could be another cause, but ofter abused people lack boundaries).
I like to touch some people-depends now doesn;t it??? It would have to!!!!
The short-sightness and insularity of this article astounds. Stop and think this over again.
Début de l'événement
10.12.2023
Fin de l'événement
10.12.2023
Say What Now
Description
How a Meddling Mother Nearly Ruined My Marriage
How We Rebuilt Our Marriage Through Therapy
Saving a Marriage After an Affair
Can Marriage Survive Infidelity?
Is Your Marriage a Partnership or a Prison?
Keep Him From Walking Out That Door
Managing Expectations in Dating
Why I Believe In Marriage
Dating Advice From Happily Married Couples
The Man or the Money
Walk Away From Parental Control in Relationships
When You’re Stuck in the “Casual Dating” Zone
A Necessary Courtesy or Just Overkill in Online Dating?
I was having a conversation the other night with friends about stuff that drives guys crazy. (more on that on later, or not) It got me thinking about things guys do that drive me crazy, and more importantly things guy say that drive me crazy! You know those things you never want to hear a guy say again.
The following are 10 things I never want to hear another boy say to me (Again)!
1) “You have a cute little tummy.”
Are you serious right now!? I am like 99.9862% positive you just called me fat.
2) “I forgot how great you are.”
Of course I’m great you tard! I’m amazing in fact, and all that time you spent away/forgetting me was totally your loss!
3) “If you also have toast and bacon or sausage that would be great too.”
Dude I just made you eggs, fruit, and coffee and this is the first time we’ve had sex. Check yourself! Then check yourself again!
4) “Don’t forget your granny panties.”
They may or may not fall under the category of “granny panties” that is irrelevant. All I know is you seemed pretty excited to be seeing them earlier so pay them some respect.
5) “Can I take a shower?”
I’m going to let you cause I’m a good hostess, but No, no you cannot take a shower. Unless we are in a committed relationship or we are spending the whole day together you cannot use my shower and use a perfectly clean towel, or my expensive shampoo. Pick up your dirty clothes put them on and leave.
6) “We have to lay sideways on the bed or it makes noise.”
Ok I get it your bed squeaks when we “move”, that is cool I can respect that. But if it makes those noises just from a little motion you need to either get a new bed frame or find someone else who is comfortable only “being” in one spot.
7) “I’m not really looking for a serious relationship right now.”
Dude! Did you hear me at anytime say I was? Wow, you’re great and all, but your heads getting big. I like you and you interest me that is all…. Nobody mentioned a relationship and I sure as hell didn’t mention babies!
8) “That was my ex girlfriends I just haven’t gotten around to throwing it out.”
Please note if you have been out of a relationship more then 2weeks your apartment should Not include the following: makeup, nail polish, jewelry which obviously cost less the $20, female deodorant, a curling or flat iron, or tampons. (Also, unless you guys lived together your apartment should never include the above)
9) “Are you going to write about me?”
Only when you say stupid ass stuff like that, Einstein! I’m spending time with you which means I probably like you enough to not subject you to being mentioned in a silly blog, or I will write about you once you become a douche-bag.
10) “What do you like to do for fun?”
I’m here right now and I was having fun until you started asking stupid questions like that.
(reason #_why I’m single: I can’t control my eye rolls when people say stupid things.)
SIDEBAR: I also have no desire to get into someone else’s dirty shower.
How We Rebuilt Our Marriage Through Therapy
Saving a Marriage After an Affair
Can Marriage Survive Infidelity?
Is Your Marriage a Partnership or a Prison?
Keep Him From Walking Out That Door
Managing Expectations in Dating
Why I Believe In Marriage
Dating Advice From Happily Married Couples
The Man or the Money
Walk Away From Parental Control in Relationships
When You’re Stuck in the “Casual Dating” Zone
A Necessary Courtesy or Just Overkill in Online Dating?
I was having a conversation the other night with friends about stuff that drives guys crazy. (more on that on later, or not) It got me thinking about things guys do that drive me crazy, and more importantly things guy say that drive me crazy! You know those things you never want to hear a guy say again.
The following are 10 things I never want to hear another boy say to me (Again)!
1) “You have a cute little tummy.”
Are you serious right now!? I am like 99.9862% positive you just called me fat.
2) “I forgot how great you are.”
Of course I’m great you tard! I’m amazing in fact, and all that time you spent away/forgetting me was totally your loss!
3) “If you also have toast and bacon or sausage that would be great too.”
Dude I just made you eggs, fruit, and coffee and this is the first time we’ve had sex. Check yourself! Then check yourself again!
4) “Don’t forget your granny panties.”
They may or may not fall under the category of “granny panties” that is irrelevant. All I know is you seemed pretty excited to be seeing them earlier so pay them some respect.
5) “Can I take a shower?”
I’m going to let you cause I’m a good hostess, but No, no you cannot take a shower. Unless we are in a committed relationship or we are spending the whole day together you cannot use my shower and use a perfectly clean towel, or my expensive shampoo. Pick up your dirty clothes put them on and leave.
6) “We have to lay sideways on the bed or it makes noise.”
Ok I get it your bed squeaks when we “move”, that is cool I can respect that. But if it makes those noises just from a little motion you need to either get a new bed frame or find someone else who is comfortable only “being” in one spot.
7) “I’m not really looking for a serious relationship right now.”
Dude! Did you hear me at anytime say I was? Wow, you’re great and all, but your heads getting big. I like you and you interest me that is all…. Nobody mentioned a relationship and I sure as hell didn’t mention babies!
8) “That was my ex girlfriends I just haven’t gotten around to throwing it out.”
Please note if you have been out of a relationship more then 2weeks your apartment should Not include the following: makeup, nail polish, jewelry which obviously cost less the $20, female deodorant, a curling or flat iron, or tampons. (Also, unless you guys lived together your apartment should never include the above)
9) “Are you going to write about me?”
Only when you say stupid ass stuff like that, Einstein! I’m spending time with you which means I probably like you enough to not subject you to being mentioned in a silly blog, or I will write about you once you become a douche-bag.
10) “What do you like to do for fun?”
I’m here right now and I was having fun until you started asking stupid questions like that.
(reason #_why I’m single: I can’t control my eye rolls when people say stupid things.)
SIDEBAR: I also have no desire to get into someone else’s dirty shower.
Début de l'événement
26.03.2025
Fin de l'événement
26.03.2025
Searching for Love in a Digital World: Are We Losing the Personal Touch?
Description
8 Things Commonly Assumed To Be Black That Ain’t Really
The Truth About Men
Black Culture Decoded
Signs That You Might Not Be Compatible
Relationship Rules
Jobs Most Likely To Lead to Hanky Panky On The Job
Movies That Will End Your Half-Assed Relationship
Reasons Why He’s With a White Woman
148Panama Jackson July 18, 2011 at 11:23 am
real talk…a running joke amongst my boys is that if a chick says she loves our eyes, she’s trying to hit. lol.
cuz i be in the mirror and i see them sh*ts…THEY’S JUST EYES SON!!!!! you just want my doggystyle!!!! you ain’t gotsta lie.
Reply
149keisha brown July 18, 2011 at 12:22 pm
quits PJ for life.
(or until tomorrow.)
Reply
150DG July 18, 2011 at 1:26 am
I’ve read that the best thing you can say to a man is “I’m proud of you.”
That’s something I’d expect to hear from my parents/elders than a woman I’m dating….just sounds a bit too matronly for me. As far as compliments go, I don’t necessarily take them too well….but one of the most flattering compliments I received came from a woman who came up to me while I was eating and asked me how old I was (late 20′s at the time)….after I told her, she looked kinda disappointed as she mumbled “so young” under her breath….then simply said “such a good looking guy”, and then walked away. The directness of it all caught me off guard, but I told her thank you…if it wasn’t for this dark skin and the presence of testicles, I’m sure I would’ve blushed a lil’.
Reply
151nillalatte July 18, 2011 at 1:54 am
LOL… that’s cute. Yeah, I kind of thought the same when I read it, but I was like, “really?” I’d much rather say to a man that I was happy or excited for him for whatever reason to share in his joy.
Reply
152keisha brown July 18, 2011 at 12:27 pm
if it wasn’t for this dark skin and the presence of testicles, I’m sure I would’ve blushed a lil’.
CTFU!!!
Stop it!
Reply
The Truth About Men
Black Culture Decoded
Signs That You Might Not Be Compatible
Relationship Rules
Jobs Most Likely To Lead to Hanky Panky On The Job
Movies That Will End Your Half-Assed Relationship
Reasons Why He’s With a White Woman
148Panama Jackson July 18, 2011 at 11:23 am
real talk…a running joke amongst my boys is that if a chick says she loves our eyes, she’s trying to hit. lol.
cuz i be in the mirror and i see them sh*ts…THEY’S JUST EYES SON!!!!! you just want my doggystyle!!!! you ain’t gotsta lie.
Reply
149keisha brown July 18, 2011 at 12:22 pm
quits PJ for life.
(or until tomorrow.)
Reply
150DG July 18, 2011 at 1:26 am
I’ve read that the best thing you can say to a man is “I’m proud of you.”
That’s something I’d expect to hear from my parents/elders than a woman I’m dating….just sounds a bit too matronly for me. As far as compliments go, I don’t necessarily take them too well….but one of the most flattering compliments I received came from a woman who came up to me while I was eating and asked me how old I was (late 20′s at the time)….after I told her, she looked kinda disappointed as she mumbled “so young” under her breath….then simply said “such a good looking guy”, and then walked away. The directness of it all caught me off guard, but I told her thank you…if it wasn’t for this dark skin and the presence of testicles, I’m sure I would’ve blushed a lil’.
Reply
151nillalatte July 18, 2011 at 1:54 am
LOL… that’s cute. Yeah, I kind of thought the same when I read it, but I was like, “really?” I’d much rather say to a man that I was happy or excited for him for whatever reason to share in his joy.
Reply
152keisha brown July 18, 2011 at 12:27 pm
if it wasn’t for this dark skin and the presence of testicles, I’m sure I would’ve blushed a lil’.
CTFU!!!
Stop it!
Reply
Début de l'événement
07.10.2022
Fin de l'événement
07.10.2022
Social Media Isn’t Your Soulmate: The Illusion of Online Intimacy
Description
Things Men Talk About When Women Aren’t Looking
Black Men Desirability: Unpacking Cultural Biases
Women' Things Men Struggle To Understand
Going Nowhere Fast, We’ve Reached Our Climax
Are Women Too Loyal for Their Own Good
Things Black People Say?
What Really Works For Us Chicks
Words I Hope My Daughter Never Says
Why Women Get a Pass on Things Men Can’t
5 Signs That You Might Be Dating a Zombie Who Might Zombie Apocalapyse Your A**
And in case you don’t think the Quran’s rulings are applicable in the present day, here’s the late(died 1979) but very popular(& oft cited) Pakistani Jurist Abul A’la Maududi talking about his ideal state (you might not have heard of him, his Jaamati followers in the UK Islamic Mission are the largest component of the Muslim Council of Britain):
“Many misunderstandings seem to persist about the right to have sexual relations with one’s slave-girls. It is pertinent to call attention to the following regulations of Islam:
“Islam does not permit soldiers of the Islamic army to have sexual relations with women they capture in war. Islamic Law requires that such women should first be handed over to the government, which then has the right to decide what should be done with them. It may either set them free unconditionally, release them on payment of ransom, exchange them for Muslim prisoners of war held by the enemy or distribute them among the soldiers. A soldier may have sexual relations only with that woman who has been entrusted to him by the government.
It is not necessary for female captives of war to be People of the Book in order that sexual relations with them be permitted. The man to whom such a woman is entrusted has the right to have sexual relations with her regardless of her religious affiliations.
Although the Law has fixed the maximum number of wives at four, it has set no limit with regard to slave-girls. The Law does not lay down a limit in order to encourage people to accumulate huge armies of slave-girls, and thereby turn their homes into dens of sexual enjoyment. Rather the Law does not define the limit because the effects of war and the total number of female captives that would have to be disposed of after a certain war are unpredictable.”
Link: http://www.tafheem.net
That’s not a future I want for anyone. I don’t want to make this post any longer, but rape, kidnapping, and forced conversion to Islam by Muslims towards Christians, Hindu’s, and Sikh’s in Pakistan is still very common. I’ll also add that the US has seen similar sex trafficking rings here in the US, only with Somali Muslims(who have the same contempt of all non-Muslims as their Pakistani brethren). Link: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/04/verdict-expected-in-somali-sex-trafficking-case/
Black Men Desirability: Unpacking Cultural Biases
Women' Things Men Struggle To Understand
Going Nowhere Fast, We’ve Reached Our Climax
Are Women Too Loyal for Their Own Good
Things Black People Say?
What Really Works For Us Chicks
Words I Hope My Daughter Never Says
Why Women Get a Pass on Things Men Can’t
5 Signs That You Might Be Dating a Zombie Who Might Zombie Apocalapyse Your A**
And in case you don’t think the Quran’s rulings are applicable in the present day, here’s the late(died 1979) but very popular(& oft cited) Pakistani Jurist Abul A’la Maududi talking about his ideal state (you might not have heard of him, his Jaamati followers in the UK Islamic Mission are the largest component of the Muslim Council of Britain):
“Many misunderstandings seem to persist about the right to have sexual relations with one’s slave-girls. It is pertinent to call attention to the following regulations of Islam:
“Islam does not permit soldiers of the Islamic army to have sexual relations with women they capture in war. Islamic Law requires that such women should first be handed over to the government, which then has the right to decide what should be done with them. It may either set them free unconditionally, release them on payment of ransom, exchange them for Muslim prisoners of war held by the enemy or distribute them among the soldiers. A soldier may have sexual relations only with that woman who has been entrusted to him by the government.
It is not necessary for female captives of war to be People of the Book in order that sexual relations with them be permitted. The man to whom such a woman is entrusted has the right to have sexual relations with her regardless of her religious affiliations.
Although the Law has fixed the maximum number of wives at four, it has set no limit with regard to slave-girls. The Law does not lay down a limit in order to encourage people to accumulate huge armies of slave-girls, and thereby turn their homes into dens of sexual enjoyment. Rather the Law does not define the limit because the effects of war and the total number of female captives that would have to be disposed of after a certain war are unpredictable.”
Link: http://www.tafheem.net
That’s not a future I want for anyone. I don’t want to make this post any longer, but rape, kidnapping, and forced conversion to Islam by Muslims towards Christians, Hindu’s, and Sikh’s in Pakistan is still very common. I’ll also add that the US has seen similar sex trafficking rings here in the US, only with Somali Muslims(who have the same contempt of all non-Muslims as their Pakistani brethren). Link: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/04/verdict-expected-in-somali-sex-trafficking-case/
Début de l'événement
03.12.2021
Fin de l'événement
03.12.2021
Stanford law professor argues black women should marry outside their race
Description
Why Is Self-Esteem Important For Dating?
Top Free and Paid Online Dating Websites
Seizing New Dating Opportunities
The Perfect Movie Date at Home
Single Men Don’t Have Body Image Issues
What Makes a Good Man or a Good Woman?
Equating ‘Sexuality’ with Male Sexuality
Why in the World Would I Ever Get Married?
How Jealousy Can Work For Us
The Catalano Generation is Revolutionizing Dating
Mexico City's Short-Term Marriage Proposal
Even in Relationship You’re All Alone
I Lack the Commitment Gene
Stop Crying and Be a Man
A controversial new book has hit the market from Stanford law professor Ralph Richard Banks. In it, he argues that black women should look outside of their race when it comes to marriage, as more black women are getting advanced degrees, working at high positions in corporations, and taking on key roles in government than black men.
Here’s what the Mercury News article about the book suggests:
High rates of incarceration and job-market discrimination against black men have created a gender imbalance. Then women confront the venerable economic model of supply and demand — scarcity creates excess demand for black grooms, tilting the terms of courtship to men’s favor. Many simply sidestep commitment.
“Don’t marry down. Marry out,” says Banks, an African-American man married to a black woman.
Needless to say, this topic will get a rise out of a lot of people, one way or the other. The article references a couple of Bay Area women who agree, saying they’ve found they have more in common, both in terms of education and values, outside of their race.
On the other hand, experts from Howard University and the Robert C. Maynard Institute for Journalism Education say Banks research is skewed to show things in a certain light; that there are many black women who are happily married to black men with whom they are raising children.
Plus, there’s the argument that this take doesn’t address the real problem – institutionalized racism that continues to plague black men, greatly diminishing their prospects of being successful.
“Black women are the most loyal of all,” Banks says. “But they pay a very high price.”
What do you think about Banks’ argument? Is it valid or misrepresented?
Top Free and Paid Online Dating Websites
Seizing New Dating Opportunities
The Perfect Movie Date at Home
Single Men Don’t Have Body Image Issues
What Makes a Good Man or a Good Woman?
Equating ‘Sexuality’ with Male Sexuality
Why in the World Would I Ever Get Married?
How Jealousy Can Work For Us
The Catalano Generation is Revolutionizing Dating
Mexico City's Short-Term Marriage Proposal
Even in Relationship You’re All Alone
I Lack the Commitment Gene
Stop Crying and Be a Man
A controversial new book has hit the market from Stanford law professor Ralph Richard Banks. In it, he argues that black women should look outside of their race when it comes to marriage, as more black women are getting advanced degrees, working at high positions in corporations, and taking on key roles in government than black men.
Here’s what the Mercury News article about the book suggests:
High rates of incarceration and job-market discrimination against black men have created a gender imbalance. Then women confront the venerable economic model of supply and demand — scarcity creates excess demand for black grooms, tilting the terms of courtship to men’s favor. Many simply sidestep commitment.
“Don’t marry down. Marry out,” says Banks, an African-American man married to a black woman.
Needless to say, this topic will get a rise out of a lot of people, one way or the other. The article references a couple of Bay Area women who agree, saying they’ve found they have more in common, both in terms of education and values, outside of their race.
On the other hand, experts from Howard University and the Robert C. Maynard Institute for Journalism Education say Banks research is skewed to show things in a certain light; that there are many black women who are happily married to black men with whom they are raising children.
Plus, there’s the argument that this take doesn’t address the real problem – institutionalized racism that continues to plague black men, greatly diminishing their prospects of being successful.
“Black women are the most loyal of all,” Banks says. “But they pay a very high price.”
What do you think about Banks’ argument? Is it valid or misrepresented?
Début de l'événement
10.01.2022
Fin de l'événement
10.01.2022
The Great Debate: Should Women Make the First Move in Dating?
Description
Moments in Dating We'd Wipe Away if We Had the Chance
Lies Damn Lies and Wonderbras.
Pole Position
The Goggles
Kinky Dating
The Art Of The Breakup: 10 No-Nos For The Dumper
The Dumpee Survival Guide
Chick Logic (Or the Lack Thereof)
Why Women Shouldn't Make the First Move in Dating
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-07-29/deadbeat-nation-shocking-77-million-americans-face-debt-collectors
This represents 35.1 percent of the population. In Nevada the percentage is 46.9 percent. So the reason debt collectors keep calling the wrong person is because it’s rather difficult for any industry to keep track of more than one-third of households (and almost half the households in Nevada).
Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1
MRA August 20, 2014 at 13:12
This debt bought me a messy drawer of wedding makeup that I never wear, some shoes that proved too uncomfortable, necklaces I incorrectly deemed myself bold enough to wear, and three pairs of eyeglasses that pretty much look exactly the same.
Right there you can see why companies and federal gov love feminism, the point of men managing money was that men are more careful with it the the spending was limited, when you have women with money and a system extracting money from men to give it to women.
Men produce money, system extract money from men give it to women, women spend money on product they never needed.
Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0
Uncle Elmer August 20, 2014 at 13:44
Here is some more material for you Bill, courtesy of my son Hermann :
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/quinnspiracy
Quinnspiracy refers to the online controversy surrounding indie game developer Zoe Quinn’s alleged affair with a number of video game journalists, including a staff writer at the Gawker-affiliated video game news site Kotaku, supposedly in exchange for publicity for her and her 2014 text-based indie game Depression Quest. In August 2014, the scandal came into public’s light when Eron Gjoni, her now-former boyfriend, chronicled the details of her affairs in an expose blog post, which prompted online discussions regarding the validity of Gjoni’s claim and ethics in video game journalism at large. Due to the scandal’s online amplification in reaction to perceived media suppression, the event has been cited as an example of the “Streisand Effect”.
Lies Damn Lies and Wonderbras.
Pole Position
The Goggles
Kinky Dating
The Art Of The Breakup: 10 No-Nos For The Dumper
The Dumpee Survival Guide
Chick Logic (Or the Lack Thereof)
Why Women Shouldn't Make the First Move in Dating
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-07-29/deadbeat-nation-shocking-77-million-americans-face-debt-collectors
This represents 35.1 percent of the population. In Nevada the percentage is 46.9 percent. So the reason debt collectors keep calling the wrong person is because it’s rather difficult for any industry to keep track of more than one-third of households (and almost half the households in Nevada).
Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1
MRA August 20, 2014 at 13:12
This debt bought me a messy drawer of wedding makeup that I never wear, some shoes that proved too uncomfortable, necklaces I incorrectly deemed myself bold enough to wear, and three pairs of eyeglasses that pretty much look exactly the same.
Right there you can see why companies and federal gov love feminism, the point of men managing money was that men are more careful with it the the spending was limited, when you have women with money and a system extracting money from men to give it to women.
Men produce money, system extract money from men give it to women, women spend money on product they never needed.
Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0
Uncle Elmer August 20, 2014 at 13:44
Here is some more material for you Bill, courtesy of my son Hermann :
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/quinnspiracy
Quinnspiracy refers to the online controversy surrounding indie game developer Zoe Quinn’s alleged affair with a number of video game journalists, including a staff writer at the Gawker-affiliated video game news site Kotaku, supposedly in exchange for publicity for her and her 2014 text-based indie game Depression Quest. In August 2014, the scandal came into public’s light when Eron Gjoni, her now-former boyfriend, chronicled the details of her affairs in an expose blog post, which prompted online discussions regarding the validity of Gjoni’s claim and ethics in video game journalism at large. Due to the scandal’s online amplification in reaction to perceived media suppression, the event has been cited as an example of the “Streisand Effect”.
Début de l'événement
07.11.2021
Fin de l'événement
07.11.2021
The Importance of Individual Growth Within a Marriage.
Description
He Had an Affair Because I Stopped Initiating Sex
He Makes Me Feel Bad About Being Fat
He Lost Interest in Our Marriage
Saving A Marriage: He Lost His Job
He Lets His Mother Rule Our Lives and I'm Sick of It
Commitment Jitters
Love and Lust: When Chemistry Outruns Endurance
Bi Bi Love
Dealing With Your Partner’s Bedroom Confessions
Can His Squalor Be Squelched?
Asunder Down Under
Conquering Long Distance Dating
Coveting a Coworker
Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 8 Thumb down 5
Reply
Andthatswhyyouresingle says:
February 13, 2012 at 4:10 pm
Was with first boyfriend 5 years and husband 5 years so that would give me 10 years of long term relationship experience with some fun online and non online dating experiences in between. Is that enough experience for you?
I asked:
What adult, mature, healthy relationship experience have you even had?
I’m still waiting for the adult, mature healthy examples. Not some relationship you had as a teenager. You don’t have to answer my question. I’m just trying to point out that you are hardly a poster child for marriage or mature relationships, so you really need to stop trotting out Mr. Buns of Steel who makes great coffee as evidence you do.
Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 3
Reply
Saj says:
February 13, 2012 at 5:15 pm
Rofl sorry I’m not as old as you would like me to be. I can’t really do anything about that. But for being 30 years old I think I’ve had quite a lot of long term relationship and dating experience and feel I have a right to my opinion just as much as the anti relationship guys, or the never been in a long term relationship at 40 girls or the girls dating men who still live with their parents. We all have very varied experiences that makes our advice and comments complex.
He Makes Me Feel Bad About Being Fat
He Lost Interest in Our Marriage
Saving A Marriage: He Lost His Job
He Lets His Mother Rule Our Lives and I'm Sick of It
Commitment Jitters
Love and Lust: When Chemistry Outruns Endurance
Bi Bi Love
Dealing With Your Partner’s Bedroom Confessions
Can His Squalor Be Squelched?
Asunder Down Under
Conquering Long Distance Dating
Coveting a Coworker
Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 8 Thumb down 5
Reply
Andthatswhyyouresingle says:
February 13, 2012 at 4:10 pm
Was with first boyfriend 5 years and husband 5 years so that would give me 10 years of long term relationship experience with some fun online and non online dating experiences in between. Is that enough experience for you?
I asked:
What adult, mature, healthy relationship experience have you even had?
I’m still waiting for the adult, mature healthy examples. Not some relationship you had as a teenager. You don’t have to answer my question. I’m just trying to point out that you are hardly a poster child for marriage or mature relationships, so you really need to stop trotting out Mr. Buns of Steel who makes great coffee as evidence you do.
Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 3
Reply
Saj says:
February 13, 2012 at 5:15 pm
Rofl sorry I’m not as old as you would like me to be. I can’t really do anything about that. But for being 30 years old I think I’ve had quite a lot of long term relationship and dating experience and feel I have a right to my opinion just as much as the anti relationship guys, or the never been in a long term relationship at 40 girls or the girls dating men who still live with their parents. We all have very varied experiences that makes our advice and comments complex.
Début de l'événement
18.03.2023
Fin de l'événement
18.03.2023
The Influence of Upbringing on Romantic Choices
Description
A Few Thoughts on Conflict in Dating
Why Trying to "Be More Feminine or Masculine" is a Trap
"Not Good Enough"
Chasing After Instant Chemistry is Foolish
Does Longevity in the Past = Mature Dater Today?
Are You Really Prepared for a Relationship?
Guys Don’t Want to Date “One of The Guys”
Things I Have Learned About Dating
Fear in Dating and Relationships
Does the Person You're Dating Make You Smile
Marrige and Happiness
Is Your Resolution to Find Love in the New Year?
Disappearing Dates
Jen
Jen
May 16, 2013 at 4:37 pm | Permalink
Excellent article.
Re. September 23rd, there is more information about Bi Visibility Day on the september23.bi.org website and its associated twitter / facebook pages.
Tracey
Tracey
May 17, 2013 at 9:46 am | Permalink
My partner and I write books for women who are coming out as lesbian, bisexual or questioning. We also have an online support group, and since 2003 our group has supported over 5,000 women worldwide. I just wanted to write that this is an excellent article, and I am going to send a link to it to our support group members and also post it on our social networks. We have over 1,000 members in our group right now and around the same in our social network : )
May 28, 2013 at 10:07 am | Permalink
This is interesting. I’ve always thought of bi being part of the terms gay, homophobia, etc. So, when I’ve used them, I never intended to be exclusionary.
Words are a tricky thing. Even the most well intentioned people who think they are well informed can still say the wrong thing.
This specifically makes me think of a situation recently where my boyfriend asked someone he’d been talking to for a long time if they’d prefer to be referred to as ‘he’ or ‘she’ since my boyfriend was sincerely not sure and wanted to say the right thing. In this case, the person in question said that whenever possible the best thing would just be to actually use their name and avoid those words, but otherwise, either was fine. They were also just really happy they were asked rather than some assumption be made.
I find it interesting that the question asked was an “A or B” question, and the answer was something like “C and either A or B is also okay”. We think we’re well informed people, and then we realize we actually don’t even know enough to ask the completely correct question. There are so many different variations on identity. The important part is caring enough to ask, keeping an open mind, and trying not to make too many assumptions (and letting them go when you find out you did).
Why Trying to "Be More Feminine or Masculine" is a Trap
"Not Good Enough"
Chasing After Instant Chemistry is Foolish
Does Longevity in the Past = Mature Dater Today?
Are You Really Prepared for a Relationship?
Guys Don’t Want to Date “One of The Guys”
Things I Have Learned About Dating
Fear in Dating and Relationships
Does the Person You're Dating Make You Smile
Marrige and Happiness
Is Your Resolution to Find Love in the New Year?
Disappearing Dates
Jen
Jen
May 16, 2013 at 4:37 pm | Permalink
Excellent article.
Re. September 23rd, there is more information about Bi Visibility Day on the september23.bi.org website and its associated twitter / facebook pages.
Tracey
Tracey
May 17, 2013 at 9:46 am | Permalink
My partner and I write books for women who are coming out as lesbian, bisexual or questioning. We also have an online support group, and since 2003 our group has supported over 5,000 women worldwide. I just wanted to write that this is an excellent article, and I am going to send a link to it to our support group members and also post it on our social networks. We have over 1,000 members in our group right now and around the same in our social network : )
May 28, 2013 at 10:07 am | Permalink
This is interesting. I’ve always thought of bi being part of the terms gay, homophobia, etc. So, when I’ve used them, I never intended to be exclusionary.
Words are a tricky thing. Even the most well intentioned people who think they are well informed can still say the wrong thing.
This specifically makes me think of a situation recently where my boyfriend asked someone he’d been talking to for a long time if they’d prefer to be referred to as ‘he’ or ‘she’ since my boyfriend was sincerely not sure and wanted to say the right thing. In this case, the person in question said that whenever possible the best thing would just be to actually use their name and avoid those words, but otherwise, either was fine. They were also just really happy they were asked rather than some assumption be made.
I find it interesting that the question asked was an “A or B” question, and the answer was something like “C and either A or B is also okay”. We think we’re well informed people, and then we realize we actually don’t even know enough to ask the completely correct question. There are so many different variations on identity. The important part is caring enough to ask, keeping an open mind, and trying not to make too many assumptions (and letting them go when you find out you did).
Début de l'événement
26.12.2022
Fin de l'événement
26.12.2022
The Truth About Relationship Junkies
Description
The Surprisingly Solid Dating Advice From Kanye West
How To Please Your Mate
Rearranging The Deck Chairs On The Titanic of Love
Ridiculous Dating Advice That’s Totally True
Things Men Do That Women Probably Hate
Things I Think I’d Hate About Women If I Were a Man
What Single People Get Wrong About Marriage
Chicken Livers and Relationship Drama
Why Splitting Costs Isn't Splitting Love
The Instant Turn-Offs That Will Get You Cut Off
We all know at least one relationship junkie. If it isn’t us, it may be one of our closest friends. You know the type-their primary focus always seems to be getting, finding and staying in a relationship. The serial monogamists who just can’t stand the brief periods of time in which they find themselves single. Like addicts looking for their next fix, life just ain’t right unless there is someone around for them to call “mine.” They breathe, eat, and sleep their relationships. And the stories they tell in the beginning of each new love affair? They are dramatic accounts of deeply intense emotions unlike anything they have ever experienced before. Not ever. They have finally found the one that they’ve been looking for. Now, they are complete.
We can always choose to be complicit in the delusion by nodding in agreement and watching them as they ride that relationship high. That is until they crash, of course. We can say that we are being supportive, but somehow, that just seems a little disingenuous and just flat out wrong. When we choose ignore the behavior, we fail to remind them of the truth: that things have gone slightly, if not totally awry for us when our happiness and feelings of self-worth are contingent upon our relationship status. That wanting a partner is quite different than needing one; and when that want becomes a need, it might be time to stop looking for a partner and ask ourselves what it is that we are really missing.
I believe in love. Truly, I do. And new love is always exciting. It serves as a reminder that we live in a world that provides endless opportunities to make a fresh start. It is a sign of our resilience, faith, and belief in possibilities. But what doesn’t work for any of us is when we believe that another person is, or ever could be, the only source of our happiness. In these moments, we might want to consider that maybe it isn’t really a new love that we are looking for. We may just be trying to find a way to love ourselves.
How To Please Your Mate
Rearranging The Deck Chairs On The Titanic of Love
Ridiculous Dating Advice That’s Totally True
Things Men Do That Women Probably Hate
Things I Think I’d Hate About Women If I Were a Man
What Single People Get Wrong About Marriage
Chicken Livers and Relationship Drama
Why Splitting Costs Isn't Splitting Love
The Instant Turn-Offs That Will Get You Cut Off
We all know at least one relationship junkie. If it isn’t us, it may be one of our closest friends. You know the type-their primary focus always seems to be getting, finding and staying in a relationship. The serial monogamists who just can’t stand the brief periods of time in which they find themselves single. Like addicts looking for their next fix, life just ain’t right unless there is someone around for them to call “mine.” They breathe, eat, and sleep their relationships. And the stories they tell in the beginning of each new love affair? They are dramatic accounts of deeply intense emotions unlike anything they have ever experienced before. Not ever. They have finally found the one that they’ve been looking for. Now, they are complete.
We can always choose to be complicit in the delusion by nodding in agreement and watching them as they ride that relationship high. That is until they crash, of course. We can say that we are being supportive, but somehow, that just seems a little disingenuous and just flat out wrong. When we choose ignore the behavior, we fail to remind them of the truth: that things have gone slightly, if not totally awry for us when our happiness and feelings of self-worth are contingent upon our relationship status. That wanting a partner is quite different than needing one; and when that want becomes a need, it might be time to stop looking for a partner and ask ourselves what it is that we are really missing.
I believe in love. Truly, I do. And new love is always exciting. It serves as a reminder that we live in a world that provides endless opportunities to make a fresh start. It is a sign of our resilience, faith, and belief in possibilities. But what doesn’t work for any of us is when we believe that another person is, or ever could be, the only source of our happiness. In these moments, we might want to consider that maybe it isn’t really a new love that we are looking for. We may just be trying to find a way to love ourselves.
Début de l'événement
21.11.2021
Fin de l'événement
21.11.2021
Tinder Confessions: Thanksgiving Edition
Description
He Went to War and Came Back a Changed Man
Unmasking Hidden Unhappiness in Marriage
Workaholic Heartbreak: When Success Costs Your Marriage
Recession Realities: When Financial Stress Tests a Marriage
When Unemployment Tests Marriage
Movies That All Women Should See To Understand Men
Love Lies and Responsibility
The Dating Mishaps of the Ladies of Love Twenty
The Black Male Preference Privilege
Anatomy of a Great (Reality) Relationship
Your Rear End or Your Pride
Why Splitting Costs Isn't Splitting Love
(Broken) Laws of Attraction
While my previous posts are from a few months ago, I thought I’d change it up for a special Thanksgiving date I went on recently. You read that right: a Thanksgiving date.
I got a most unusual Tinder message a few days ago:
I was initially hesitant since I had thrilling plans for Saturday like going to the gym, doing laundry and returning a cardigan to Target. Potential Friendsgiving negatives? A super awkward date at a party with strangers, who could also potentially be weird or awkward or boring. And unlike meeting for drinks—the standard first date—there’s a much longer time commitment. Guaranteed positives? Free food and sweatpants. Plus he offered to pick me up. Even easier. After consulting a few friends I decided to just go with it. (side note: I found out later this was actually his very first Tinder date!)
He picked me up, crockpot of green bean casserole, dessert, and beer ready to go in the back. Clean car. Safe driving. Non-awkward conversation. Everything was looking up.
Then we arrived at the party, and a small wave of panic hit me as I walked in: I was the weirdo from the internet at a random stranger’s party. And this was not a large party, mind you. There were maybe 10 or so people there at the beginning (and around 20 by the end). No escaping or blending in. I got a strange look or two as we walked in, and then I was introduced as the girl from Tinder. To my relief, everyone thought it was funny. A friendly girl offered me a Pilgrim party hat and a glass of wine, and we started chatting away about her experience with some other dating app called Hinge (which I’d never heard of).
Everyone was so nice! And easy to talk to. I almost always hate mingling at parties where I don’t know many people (or no one at all!), but I quickly realized that I actually got along quite well with this group. In fact, being the girl from Tinder became a great conversation starter whenever people asked how I knew my date—we’ll call him Paul. “You’re here with Paul? How did you meet?” “Oh, we met about an hour and a half ago when he picked me up for the party.” Definitely an intriguing start to a conversation. I’d also like to take this moment to dish out a little piece of advice on making friends with fellow females: Compliment and/or ask her about her hair. “Do you use a wand or a curling iron? I love your hair!” I ask out of genuine curiosity (because I’ve always been a curling iron kinda girl but have considered trying out a wand), but I’ve found it’s a great conversation starter, almost like a pickup line for making friends. And most girls, including myself, can go on and on about hair. Seriously, try it sometime.
But back to Friendsgiving…
Everyone finally arrived, and the food was all ready to go. We feasted, we lounged, and then someone mentioned some crazy game called Slap the Bag. Apparently it’s a Midwestern drinking game staple (everyone was from the Midwest) but totally foreign to me. It’s very simple: Someone holds a bag of wine while someone else slaps the bag and then chugs the wine for however long they please. Not exactly a “game,” but, of course, since I’d never “played,” they insisted I try it out. I was not disappointed. In fact, I highly recommend it. Who doesn’t want to slap a massive bag of wine and then chug it while being cheered on by a room of newly acquired friends wearing Native American feathered headbands and Pilgrim hats? Definitely the best way to enjoy top-notch bagged wine. Paul was even thoughtful enough to record this important milestone on my own phone so I can relive the moment whenever I want.
After a few more slaps, they broke out the beer pong table. I continued bonding with my new friends on the sidelines and even exchanged numbers with one girl before Paul and I took our turn at beer pong. It was not a pretty game for us. But it didn’t matter (because everyone’s a winner in beer pong, right?). It was getting late. We’d been drinking for nearly 7 hours and this point, and eventually Paul and I ended up making out in the kitchen (oops?).
All in all, it was a great Friendsgiving. Will I see Paul again? Who knows. But I do have plans to hang out with some of my other new friends after Thanksgiving. I’d call that a win!
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Unmasking Hidden Unhappiness in Marriage
Workaholic Heartbreak: When Success Costs Your Marriage
Recession Realities: When Financial Stress Tests a Marriage
When Unemployment Tests Marriage
Movies That All Women Should See To Understand Men
Love Lies and Responsibility
The Dating Mishaps of the Ladies of Love Twenty
The Black Male Preference Privilege
Anatomy of a Great (Reality) Relationship
Your Rear End or Your Pride
Why Splitting Costs Isn't Splitting Love
(Broken) Laws of Attraction
While my previous posts are from a few months ago, I thought I’d change it up for a special Thanksgiving date I went on recently. You read that right: a Thanksgiving date.
I got a most unusual Tinder message a few days ago:
I was initially hesitant since I had thrilling plans for Saturday like going to the gym, doing laundry and returning a cardigan to Target. Potential Friendsgiving negatives? A super awkward date at a party with strangers, who could also potentially be weird or awkward or boring. And unlike meeting for drinks—the standard first date—there’s a much longer time commitment. Guaranteed positives? Free food and sweatpants. Plus he offered to pick me up. Even easier. After consulting a few friends I decided to just go with it. (side note: I found out later this was actually his very first Tinder date!)
He picked me up, crockpot of green bean casserole, dessert, and beer ready to go in the back. Clean car. Safe driving. Non-awkward conversation. Everything was looking up.
Then we arrived at the party, and a small wave of panic hit me as I walked in: I was the weirdo from the internet at a random stranger’s party. And this was not a large party, mind you. There were maybe 10 or so people there at the beginning (and around 20 by the end). No escaping or blending in. I got a strange look or two as we walked in, and then I was introduced as the girl from Tinder. To my relief, everyone thought it was funny. A friendly girl offered me a Pilgrim party hat and a glass of wine, and we started chatting away about her experience with some other dating app called Hinge (which I’d never heard of).
Everyone was so nice! And easy to talk to. I almost always hate mingling at parties where I don’t know many people (or no one at all!), but I quickly realized that I actually got along quite well with this group. In fact, being the girl from Tinder became a great conversation starter whenever people asked how I knew my date—we’ll call him Paul. “You’re here with Paul? How did you meet?” “Oh, we met about an hour and a half ago when he picked me up for the party.” Definitely an intriguing start to a conversation. I’d also like to take this moment to dish out a little piece of advice on making friends with fellow females: Compliment and/or ask her about her hair. “Do you use a wand or a curling iron? I love your hair!” I ask out of genuine curiosity (because I’ve always been a curling iron kinda girl but have considered trying out a wand), but I’ve found it’s a great conversation starter, almost like a pickup line for making friends. And most girls, including myself, can go on and on about hair. Seriously, try it sometime.
But back to Friendsgiving…
Everyone finally arrived, and the food was all ready to go. We feasted, we lounged, and then someone mentioned some crazy game called Slap the Bag. Apparently it’s a Midwestern drinking game staple (everyone was from the Midwest) but totally foreign to me. It’s very simple: Someone holds a bag of wine while someone else slaps the bag and then chugs the wine for however long they please. Not exactly a “game,” but, of course, since I’d never “played,” they insisted I try it out. I was not disappointed. In fact, I highly recommend it. Who doesn’t want to slap a massive bag of wine and then chug it while being cheered on by a room of newly acquired friends wearing Native American feathered headbands and Pilgrim hats? Definitely the best way to enjoy top-notch bagged wine. Paul was even thoughtful enough to record this important milestone on my own phone so I can relive the moment whenever I want.
After a few more slaps, they broke out the beer pong table. I continued bonding with my new friends on the sidelines and even exchanged numbers with one girl before Paul and I took our turn at beer pong. It was not a pretty game for us. But it didn’t matter (because everyone’s a winner in beer pong, right?). It was getting late. We’d been drinking for nearly 7 hours and this point, and eventually Paul and I ended up making out in the kitchen (oops?).
All in all, it was a great Friendsgiving. Will I see Paul again? Who knows. But I do have plans to hang out with some of my other new friends after Thanksgiving. I’d call that a win!
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Début de l'événement
20.03.2023
Fin de l'événement
20.03.2023
Trust Issues: The Temptation and Consequences of Snooping
Description
Questioning Dating Perferences
Jaded About Dating
Endless Evidence Gathering
Snooping on a Partner
Interracial Dating And Relationships
Why Do You Want to Be in a Relationship?
Being Really Smart Can Work Against A Woman
Flexibility in Modern Relationships
"Till Death Do Us Part"
Assembly Line of Hot
The Art of Selective Truths in Dating
Warning Signs on the First Date
Dani: In my experience, age and geography have been bigger factors than class, though I guess it’s all related. Through college and most of my 20s, all my serious boyfriends were black. As I’ve gotten older – in the last five years or so – that’s changed. In my late 20s and early 30s, I’ve moved a lot for work and have been part of several cities’ transient class, in which I’ve tended to spend time with people who are also not native to those cities and who do work similar to mine. In these circles, it’s been less likely that I meet black men, at least black men who aren’t colleagues. I also realize that a large part of not dating black men in recent years is related to having ended up on the West Coast, where interracial dating – especially among people who aren’t from here – is apparently required. During a phone conversation years ago, a black man who I had dated and who had moved to the Bay Area from the East Coast boasted about how much access he had to non-black women now that he was out west, and how much he was enjoying that. I remember asking who black women were with if black men were scrambling to be with white and Asian women and Latinas. He kind of snorted and said, “I don’t know. Each other, I guess.” He was going out of his way to be an asshole and I get that, but now that I live here, I see what he meant. Black men and women to seem to have a kind of aversion to each other out here. I still haven’t figured it out.
Kadian: I can’t ever remember my family discussing interracial relationships or even voicing an opinion. Perhaps because no one in my family ever dated outside their “race”? My family is Jamaican, and they pretty much have an issue with dating outside the culture. So even Black Americans are seen as culturally very different. However, the message that I received from the wider society/culture is that “interracial” pretty much means the romantic mixing of Blacks & Whites with no other real attention to other “racial” pairings. I do remember finding such pairings in film and television exciting, but somehow doomed to fail.
Over at Baggage Reclaim, Natalie has a fine post on overthinking and it's impact on relationships. This particular paragraph, early on in the piece, was really striking:
I have a friend who spent over a decade (yes you read that correctly) ruminating on her relationship. Every time we caught up about what was going on, she was trying to “work things out” or “figuring things out” or “deciding what the best thing to do is” and even “trying to avoid making a mistake”.
Having done some of this myself, I totally know how you can fall down that rabbit hole. Part of me knew six months into my first long term relationship that we were a poor match, but I didn't have the experience and insight yet to overcome the fear of ending it and being alone. We stayed together over three years.
Jaded About Dating
Endless Evidence Gathering
Snooping on a Partner
Interracial Dating And Relationships
Why Do You Want to Be in a Relationship?
Being Really Smart Can Work Against A Woman
Flexibility in Modern Relationships
"Till Death Do Us Part"
Assembly Line of Hot
The Art of Selective Truths in Dating
Warning Signs on the First Date
Dani: In my experience, age and geography have been bigger factors than class, though I guess it’s all related. Through college and most of my 20s, all my serious boyfriends were black. As I’ve gotten older – in the last five years or so – that’s changed. In my late 20s and early 30s, I’ve moved a lot for work and have been part of several cities’ transient class, in which I’ve tended to spend time with people who are also not native to those cities and who do work similar to mine. In these circles, it’s been less likely that I meet black men, at least black men who aren’t colleagues. I also realize that a large part of not dating black men in recent years is related to having ended up on the West Coast, where interracial dating – especially among people who aren’t from here – is apparently required. During a phone conversation years ago, a black man who I had dated and who had moved to the Bay Area from the East Coast boasted about how much access he had to non-black women now that he was out west, and how much he was enjoying that. I remember asking who black women were with if black men were scrambling to be with white and Asian women and Latinas. He kind of snorted and said, “I don’t know. Each other, I guess.” He was going out of his way to be an asshole and I get that, but now that I live here, I see what he meant. Black men and women to seem to have a kind of aversion to each other out here. I still haven’t figured it out.
Kadian: I can’t ever remember my family discussing interracial relationships or even voicing an opinion. Perhaps because no one in my family ever dated outside their “race”? My family is Jamaican, and they pretty much have an issue with dating outside the culture. So even Black Americans are seen as culturally very different. However, the message that I received from the wider society/culture is that “interracial” pretty much means the romantic mixing of Blacks & Whites with no other real attention to other “racial” pairings. I do remember finding such pairings in film and television exciting, but somehow doomed to fail.
Over at Baggage Reclaim, Natalie has a fine post on overthinking and it's impact on relationships. This particular paragraph, early on in the piece, was really striking:
I have a friend who spent over a decade (yes you read that correctly) ruminating on her relationship. Every time we caught up about what was going on, she was trying to “work things out” or “figuring things out” or “deciding what the best thing to do is” and even “trying to avoid making a mistake”.
Having done some of this myself, I totally know how you can fall down that rabbit hole. Part of me knew six months into my first long term relationship that we were a poor match, but I didn't have the experience and insight yet to overcome the fear of ending it and being alone. We stayed together over three years.
Début de l'événement
02.01.2023
Fin de l'événement
02.01.2023
What to Do When You Feel Unappreciated in Your Marriage
Description
He Cheats on Me During Business Trips
He Cheated with a Woman from the Gym
He Dotes On His Son and Ignores Me
He Didn't Know How to Listen to Her
He Flirts Too Much
Marriage Advice: 13 Lessons
Separate Vacations Don’t Have to Mean Divorce
Are Soul Mates Fact or Fiction?
Love vs. Parenthood: When the Perfect Partner Doesn’t Want Kids
Caring for Dad Is Destroying My Marriage
First Date: Who Pays and What It Really Means
Dating a Dad: When You Like Him But Not His Kid
Cali Bradshaw
October 11, 2011 at 6:17 pm #
With all due respect, this statement is moronic. You left out a key aspect of prostitution…. the exchange of sex. But in any case, for the one millionth time, I am not saying a guy has to pay. I simply wrote this post to explain why woman want to be paid for, in the hopes of helping guys who sometimes feel like they just don’t understand us. You can call me/us anything you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that a lot of woman feel this way.
Reply
Mark
March 27, 2012 at 12:51 pm #
“You can call me/us anything you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that a lot of woman feel this way.”
Fair enough. And a lot of men want women to be submissive houswives who cook, clean and provide sex when it’s requested.
You can call me/us anything you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that a lot of men feel this way.
I suppose that disclaimer trumps the sexism in both our expectations of the opposite sex?
Reply
Zerbu
October 16, 2011 at 11:36 pm #
He Cheated with a Woman from the Gym
He Dotes On His Son and Ignores Me
He Didn't Know How to Listen to Her
He Flirts Too Much
Marriage Advice: 13 Lessons
Separate Vacations Don’t Have to Mean Divorce
Are Soul Mates Fact or Fiction?
Love vs. Parenthood: When the Perfect Partner Doesn’t Want Kids
Caring for Dad Is Destroying My Marriage
First Date: Who Pays and What It Really Means
Dating a Dad: When You Like Him But Not His Kid
Cali Bradshaw
October 11, 2011 at 6:17 pm #
With all due respect, this statement is moronic. You left out a key aspect of prostitution…. the exchange of sex. But in any case, for the one millionth time, I am not saying a guy has to pay. I simply wrote this post to explain why woman want to be paid for, in the hopes of helping guys who sometimes feel like they just don’t understand us. You can call me/us anything you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that a lot of woman feel this way.
Reply
Mark
March 27, 2012 at 12:51 pm #
“You can call me/us anything you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that a lot of woman feel this way.”
Fair enough. And a lot of men want women to be submissive houswives who cook, clean and provide sex when it’s requested.
You can call me/us anything you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that a lot of men feel this way.
I suppose that disclaimer trumps the sexism in both our expectations of the opposite sex?
Reply
Zerbu
October 16, 2011 at 11:36 pm #
Début de l'événement
17.03.2022
Fin de l'événement
17.03.2022
What Women Say vs. What Men Hear
Description
Ladies We Need Answers
The Difference Between Girls and Women
On Dating: Experienced or Just Plain Damaged?
A Chosen Season: On Being Single in My Late 20s
The Painful Friends With Benefits Cycle
10 Reasons Why You Might Still Be Single
The Things Women Say That Piss Off Men
Challenges Of A Male Relationship Blogger
Why Relationships Commitment Scares Me
The Dumbest Arguments Couples Have
Don’t Tell Me Where To Be Romantic!
Tickle Me Cheater
LILGRL PERMALINK*
October 21, 2009 5:24 pm
Note 3 : A woman asking such questions after tests and qualification is an IOI, even as limited as a webforum is for such expression.
An IOI!
Sorry, Tood, but it was really just an indicator of…my wanting to know your GMAT score. Mainly because I’ve worked with things concerning the GMAT and so, whenever someone says they’ve taken the GMAT, I want to know their score.
I also like getting you to divulge non-girl/relationship-related tidbits, because it further proves that your “not divulging girl/relationship-related anecdotes for fear of being found out” is a weak excuse.
LILGRL PERMALINK*
October 21, 2009 5:26 pm
And I wanted to know if you were the same as/worse than my boyfriend.
LILGRL PERMALINK*
October 21, 2009 5:32 pm
A note on your notes:
1: It was not a shit-test, it wasn’t even a test — it was a ridiculous statement designed so that you might understand how absolutely ridiculous it is that you’re not sharing anecdotes because you’re afraid you might be discovered. You were not supposed to think of it as a test — you were supposed to READ FOR COMPREHENSION and be like, “Well, that’s just absurd — OH, I get what she means.”
2: It’s not qualifying, it’s making the aforementioned “ridiculous statement” even more “ridiculous”. I wasn’t trying to brag about hooking up with anyone — I was trying to say that EVEN IF the story was about me and a pop star, it would still be ABSURD to think that you could discover even the name of the pop star from my anecdotal evidence.
The Difference Between Girls and Women
On Dating: Experienced or Just Plain Damaged?
A Chosen Season: On Being Single in My Late 20s
The Painful Friends With Benefits Cycle
10 Reasons Why You Might Still Be Single
The Things Women Say That Piss Off Men
Challenges Of A Male Relationship Blogger
Why Relationships Commitment Scares Me
The Dumbest Arguments Couples Have
Don’t Tell Me Where To Be Romantic!
Tickle Me Cheater
LILGRL PERMALINK*
October 21, 2009 5:24 pm
Note 3 : A woman asking such questions after tests and qualification is an IOI, even as limited as a webforum is for such expression.
An IOI!
Sorry, Tood, but it was really just an indicator of…my wanting to know your GMAT score. Mainly because I’ve worked with things concerning the GMAT and so, whenever someone says they’ve taken the GMAT, I want to know their score.
I also like getting you to divulge non-girl/relationship-related tidbits, because it further proves that your “not divulging girl/relationship-related anecdotes for fear of being found out” is a weak excuse.
LILGRL PERMALINK*
October 21, 2009 5:26 pm
And I wanted to know if you were the same as/worse than my boyfriend.
LILGRL PERMALINK*
October 21, 2009 5:32 pm
A note on your notes:
1: It was not a shit-test, it wasn’t even a test — it was a ridiculous statement designed so that you might understand how absolutely ridiculous it is that you’re not sharing anecdotes because you’re afraid you might be discovered. You were not supposed to think of it as a test — you were supposed to READ FOR COMPREHENSION and be like, “Well, that’s just absurd — OH, I get what she means.”
2: It’s not qualifying, it’s making the aforementioned “ridiculous statement” even more “ridiculous”. I wasn’t trying to brag about hooking up with anyone — I was trying to say that EVEN IF the story was about me and a pop star, it would still be ABSURD to think that you could discover even the name of the pop star from my anecdotal evidence.
Début de l'événement
12.12.2021
Fin de l'événement
12.12.2021
Whoa…calm down crazy.
Description
Marriage vs. Addiction: Winning the Battle for Love
Marriage Without Intimacy: Can Love Survive the Distance?
Holding On or Letting Go: When Addiction Tests a Marriage
The Marriage We Almost Lost: How Unemployment Changed Everything
Marriage And Chaos: Finding Common Ground in Parenting
He Seemed Interested. So Why Didn’t He Call?
Online Dating Isn’t Desperation
Changing Your Dating Approach
Why Modern Dating is More Complicated Than Ever
Dating Someone With Debt
Marriage vs. Parenthood: Life After Having a Baby
The Fine Line Between Casual Dating and Commitment
How to Handle the Truth After Discovering a Betray
He’ll take that olive branch because he gets to stop feeling all that social pressure, and now you’re bros.
This is REALLY powerful. You would be surprised how many people, guys, girls, hot girls, tough MMA type guys, etc. will cave to social pressure and how much power you have when you can consciously wield that social pressure. It’s fascinating.
“Me: Whoa…calm down crazy.”
haha a good response to neutralize her shit. You’re basically still leading the conversation like “calm your tits woman, we’re all just talking here, it’s fine.” and re-enforcing your frame that what you’re doing isn’t weird.
But it doesn’t quite win her over:
“5.5 was annoyed”
Because there’s no olive branch and you don’t give her an excuse for her actions that she can latch onto to keep the “I’m not a shitty human being who acted badly earlier” frame in her mind. Know what I mean? This is a really subtle thing but really important when it comes to running group theory game which is something you’re going to be doing a lot of, so if it doesn’t make complete sense, let me know and I can try to elaborate further.
Notice in my other post I mentioned that for a short guy, it’s better for you to be approaching groups with hot girls in them, because you get a chance to demonstrate your value, THEN you can zero in on a target and escalate from there. Being short, you’re approaching with a deficit of value in their stereotypical view of the world, so if you go direct you don’t get a chance to demonstrate how awesome you are…but when you jump into the gladiator ring and go head to head with some lions (aka shit-tests, her bitchy friends, etc.) and come out victorious, NOW you have high-value.
Imagine if, at this point, a hot shooter girl you always flirt with, comes over and grabs you and flirts with you. What would THAT do to the dynamics of this group where you’ve won them over and shown enough value for the 7 and 7.5 to approve of you and you know the 7 is a little bit interested (there’s a spark there, as evidenced by her throwing you a sword earlier, and her asking your name before she goes later)? Then imagine your buddy brings you a beer, because you’re so pimp that your buddies supplicate to you? Then imagine the manager of the bar goes “Scray!! What’s up man! Hey girls, watch out for this guy, he’s trouble! ;) ” and buys the table a round of shots.
Marriage Without Intimacy: Can Love Survive the Distance?
Holding On or Letting Go: When Addiction Tests a Marriage
The Marriage We Almost Lost: How Unemployment Changed Everything
Marriage And Chaos: Finding Common Ground in Parenting
He Seemed Interested. So Why Didn’t He Call?
Online Dating Isn’t Desperation
Changing Your Dating Approach
Why Modern Dating is More Complicated Than Ever
Dating Someone With Debt
Marriage vs. Parenthood: Life After Having a Baby
The Fine Line Between Casual Dating and Commitment
How to Handle the Truth After Discovering a Betray
He’ll take that olive branch because he gets to stop feeling all that social pressure, and now you’re bros.
This is REALLY powerful. You would be surprised how many people, guys, girls, hot girls, tough MMA type guys, etc. will cave to social pressure and how much power you have when you can consciously wield that social pressure. It’s fascinating.
“Me: Whoa…calm down crazy.”
haha a good response to neutralize her shit. You’re basically still leading the conversation like “calm your tits woman, we’re all just talking here, it’s fine.” and re-enforcing your frame that what you’re doing isn’t weird.
But it doesn’t quite win her over:
“5.5 was annoyed”
Because there’s no olive branch and you don’t give her an excuse for her actions that she can latch onto to keep the “I’m not a shitty human being who acted badly earlier” frame in her mind. Know what I mean? This is a really subtle thing but really important when it comes to running group theory game which is something you’re going to be doing a lot of, so if it doesn’t make complete sense, let me know and I can try to elaborate further.
Notice in my other post I mentioned that for a short guy, it’s better for you to be approaching groups with hot girls in them, because you get a chance to demonstrate your value, THEN you can zero in on a target and escalate from there. Being short, you’re approaching with a deficit of value in their stereotypical view of the world, so if you go direct you don’t get a chance to demonstrate how awesome you are…but when you jump into the gladiator ring and go head to head with some lions (aka shit-tests, her bitchy friends, etc.) and come out victorious, NOW you have high-value.
Imagine if, at this point, a hot shooter girl you always flirt with, comes over and grabs you and flirts with you. What would THAT do to the dynamics of this group where you’ve won them over and shown enough value for the 7 and 7.5 to approve of you and you know the 7 is a little bit interested (there’s a spark there, as evidenced by her throwing you a sword earlier, and her asking your name before she goes later)? Then imagine your buddy brings you a beer, because you’re so pimp that your buddies supplicate to you? Then imagine the manager of the bar goes “Scray!! What’s up man! Hey girls, watch out for this guy, he’s trouble! ;) ” and buys the table a round of shots.
Début de l'événement
27.03.2022
Fin de l'événement
27.03.2022
You are definitely dead on.
Description
Why Sex Talk On a First Date Is a Bad Idea
Is He Interested or Just An Attention Whore?
Never Give a Man More Credit Then He’s Earned
Stop Accepting Bad Behavior From Men
When Do You Ask A Guy If Things Are Serious?
Is She Doomed To End Up Alone?
Why The “Hot” People In This Article Aren’t Worth Dating
When You Get Dumped Sometimes You’re To Blame, Too
Never Double Down On A Guy Who Can’t Guarantee He’ll Stick Around
How To Deal With The Push Pull Guy
Who Has More Luck Online – Men or Women?
The Tell Tale Tatt
Exactly! Everything is perfect upfront. Then when she’s hooked, the bad behavior comes out. That’s why both parties rush in to this. The other person in the relationship is usually really insecure and fears their “bad” behavior will come to light too, so they jump at the chance for commitment. This guy has all the things women say they want. An insecure woman or a woman who is anxious to lock a guy down is going to fall for this hook, line and sinker.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 47 Thumb down 15
Reply
wishing u well Says:
January 16th, 2012 at 10:28 am
You are definitely dead on. What I should have included as well (hope the OP reads this too) is that at the time that I went through this, I was having a moment of insecurity based on other things that were happening in my life. I had reached a point in which I started to doubt myself on some levels. Even though I was in the process of working on solutions to the problems I was facing, I felt I needed a “bright spot” in my life. It seems as if the wrong kind of men can almost smell the vulnerability at times. What helped is the fact that I’m a person who does what she says and expect others to do the same if they want to be in my life as a potential partner. So when actions changed and the mirage cleared, I left. But my insecurity at the time is what caused me to overlook the red flags – choosing instead to act on the “hope” that “maybe this will be real” and made the poor decision to give him a chance. Not my smartest moment, but hey, you live and you learn.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 45 Thumb down 1
Reply
Andthatswhyyouresingle Says:
January 16th, 2012 at 10:31 am
While I agree that the men can pick up on a woman’s vulnerability, I think initially the woman meets a man who she believes is out of her league (so she thinks) and pursues him because of that. That’s all tied to the insecurity and vulnerability. Having that man in her life validates her and helps her deal with her insecurity.
Is He Interested or Just An Attention Whore?
Never Give a Man More Credit Then He’s Earned
Stop Accepting Bad Behavior From Men
When Do You Ask A Guy If Things Are Serious?
Is She Doomed To End Up Alone?
Why The “Hot” People In This Article Aren’t Worth Dating
When You Get Dumped Sometimes You’re To Blame, Too
Never Double Down On A Guy Who Can’t Guarantee He’ll Stick Around
How To Deal With The Push Pull Guy
Who Has More Luck Online – Men or Women?
The Tell Tale Tatt
Exactly! Everything is perfect upfront. Then when she’s hooked, the bad behavior comes out. That’s why both parties rush in to this. The other person in the relationship is usually really insecure and fears their “bad” behavior will come to light too, so they jump at the chance for commitment. This guy has all the things women say they want. An insecure woman or a woman who is anxious to lock a guy down is going to fall for this hook, line and sinker.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 47 Thumb down 15
Reply
wishing u well Says:
January 16th, 2012 at 10:28 am
You are definitely dead on. What I should have included as well (hope the OP reads this too) is that at the time that I went through this, I was having a moment of insecurity based on other things that were happening in my life. I had reached a point in which I started to doubt myself on some levels. Even though I was in the process of working on solutions to the problems I was facing, I felt I needed a “bright spot” in my life. It seems as if the wrong kind of men can almost smell the vulnerability at times. What helped is the fact that I’m a person who does what she says and expect others to do the same if they want to be in my life as a potential partner. So when actions changed and the mirage cleared, I left. But my insecurity at the time is what caused me to overlook the red flags – choosing instead to act on the “hope” that “maybe this will be real” and made the poor decision to give him a chance. Not my smartest moment, but hey, you live and you learn.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 45 Thumb down 1
Reply
Andthatswhyyouresingle Says:
January 16th, 2012 at 10:31 am
While I agree that the men can pick up on a woman’s vulnerability, I think initially the woman meets a man who she believes is out of her league (so she thinks) and pursues him because of that. That’s all tied to the insecurity and vulnerability. Having that man in her life validates her and helps her deal with her insecurity.
Début de l'événement
19.02.2022
Fin de l'événement
19.02.2022
You Have to Love Your Own Life First
Description
Should Single Guys Use Emoticons
Leaving the Ghosts of an Ex Behind
Bitchiness as a Defense Mechanism: Lessons from Blogging About My Ex
Can You be Friends With an Ex?
The Men We Know We Have No Future With…
Men Who Ghost Before the First Date
No Strings Attached is Bullshit.
Do Women Really Want Equality In Relationships?
Your Best Friend the Hag
Why Being Single Doesn’t Suck
Rules For Hanging Out With Your Ex
How to Approach Guys in a Bar
How NOT to Approach A Guy In A Bar
8 Facts about Cheating
Lots of times people ask me “What do I need to do to find Mr/Ms Right.”
They get this look on their face…somewhere between ardent curiosity and abject desperation. I tell them to relax. First, you have to relax.
Then, stop and take a good look around. How is the rest of your life going?
What’s going well? What do you need to improve? What story are you telling yourself about your life, and your ability to find your perfect mate?
Here are some areas to look at:
1) Your Financial Situation. Are you stable? Do you have a plan? Are you handling your money the way you’d want Mr or Ms Right to handle theirs? If the answer is NO, then begin to take steps to handle your own money in a way that you respect. Like attracts like…so be LIKE that person you wish to attract.
2) Your Fun Factor Where are you in terms of actually enjoying your life? Do you have a circle of friends? Hobbies, Interests and Passions? Can you carry on a conversation about something you actually care about? are you Laughing? Doing things that push you out of your comfort zone and into a growth mode?
3). Your Career Are you happy with your work? Energized? If the answer is yes, then you’re way ahead of 80% of the American population. If the answer is no, explore what you can do to feel better about your work. Or at least find some reasons to be grateful for the job you do have. It’s a big turnoff to a prospective mate to meet someone who is miserable from 8 to 5 every day.
4) Your Physical and Spiritual Health Are you happy with your health habits? Could you be taking better care of yourself? If you were to share your physical and spiritual health routines with a prospective mate, would you feel proud?
5) Your Home And this is a big one. Whether you want to study Feng Shui and learn about why clutter holds you back, or the more modern version of clutter busting strategies…that’s up to you. The idea is this: Does you home accurately reflect you and how you want to present yourself? When you meet Mr or Ms Right, will there, literally, be SPACE for them?
Start to take a look at all of the areas of your life, and make an honest assessment of where you are. Like attracts Like. Be The Mate You Wish To See, and you’ll be in a much better position to meet someone that’s just perfect for you.
Leaving the Ghosts of an Ex Behind
Bitchiness as a Defense Mechanism: Lessons from Blogging About My Ex
Can You be Friends With an Ex?
The Men We Know We Have No Future With…
Men Who Ghost Before the First Date
No Strings Attached is Bullshit.
Do Women Really Want Equality In Relationships?
Your Best Friend the Hag
Why Being Single Doesn’t Suck
Rules For Hanging Out With Your Ex
How to Approach Guys in a Bar
How NOT to Approach A Guy In A Bar
8 Facts about Cheating
Lots of times people ask me “What do I need to do to find Mr/Ms Right.”
They get this look on their face…somewhere between ardent curiosity and abject desperation. I tell them to relax. First, you have to relax.
Then, stop and take a good look around. How is the rest of your life going?
What’s going well? What do you need to improve? What story are you telling yourself about your life, and your ability to find your perfect mate?
Here are some areas to look at:
1) Your Financial Situation. Are you stable? Do you have a plan? Are you handling your money the way you’d want Mr or Ms Right to handle theirs? If the answer is NO, then begin to take steps to handle your own money in a way that you respect. Like attracts like…so be LIKE that person you wish to attract.
2) Your Fun Factor Where are you in terms of actually enjoying your life? Do you have a circle of friends? Hobbies, Interests and Passions? Can you carry on a conversation about something you actually care about? are you Laughing? Doing things that push you out of your comfort zone and into a growth mode?
3). Your Career Are you happy with your work? Energized? If the answer is yes, then you’re way ahead of 80% of the American population. If the answer is no, explore what you can do to feel better about your work. Or at least find some reasons to be grateful for the job you do have. It’s a big turnoff to a prospective mate to meet someone who is miserable from 8 to 5 every day.
4) Your Physical and Spiritual Health Are you happy with your health habits? Could you be taking better care of yourself? If you were to share your physical and spiritual health routines with a prospective mate, would you feel proud?
5) Your Home And this is a big one. Whether you want to study Feng Shui and learn about why clutter holds you back, or the more modern version of clutter busting strategies…that’s up to you. The idea is this: Does you home accurately reflect you and how you want to present yourself? When you meet Mr or Ms Right, will there, literally, be SPACE for them?
Start to take a look at all of the areas of your life, and make an honest assessment of where you are. Like attracts Like. Be The Mate You Wish To See, and you’ll be in a much better position to meet someone that’s just perfect for you.
Début de l'événement
30.01.2022
Fin de l'événement
30.01.2022
Se connecter pour commenter.
Commentaires