Mooc des communs : Fixating on Strangers: When Fantasies Cloud Judgment

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[[https://bit.ly/49YWnTO More On the Nuclear Family with Children Narrative]]
[[https://bit.ly/4iX9E3k Loosening the Chains of the Nuclear Family]]
[[https://bit.ly/4iSkabY Kindness and Modern Dating]]
[[https://bit.ly/4gNRM8Q How to Navigate Uncertainty in Online Dating]]
[[https://bit.ly/3DtnDgM A Dating Suggestion to the Deeply Frustrated]]
[[https://bit.ly/49X16VV Rethinking Gender Norms in Modern Dating]]
[[https://bit.ly/49STOm7 Obsessing About Strangers]]
[[https://bit.ly/49UFqJW Two Dates in One]]
[[https://bit.ly/4iRFmyN Texts Or Calls And Dating]]
[[https://bit.ly/3Pc2lqL Men Like a Challenge]]
[[https://bit.ly/4acUVxf Men Want to Feel Manly]]
[[https://bit.ly/4gPbSQf Issues with the Language of Dating Angst]]

What made this feeling even weirder was that it wasn’t rooted in any racial hang-ups and/or neurosis. It — interracial dating — just didn’t compute as a possibility because I never saw any of my peers do it. I guess it’s kind of like the KFC Double Down in that way. I wouldn’t have fathomed that you could make a chicken/meat/chicken sandwich until I actually saw it done.

Ashley: I always joke that I didn’t “discover” race until I attended Howard University. Sure, I knew the different colors of the ‘racebow’, but I didn’t know what it meant for me or my peers.  I grew up in a predominantly white suburb in Michigan (right outside of Detroit and not too far from 8 mile…). There were a ton of interracial relationships in my family. For the longest time I assumed my white aunts were just fair-skinned black women. Our family didn’t talk about race, but we were still “black” (if that makes sense). Meaning, you could catch anything from B.I.G to Bill Withers on the stereo on any given day. So the messages that I received were that it was, “all good.” I don’t recall any funny looks or whispered conversations about the interracial couples in our family. My uncles didn’t run to the family bbq expecting an award for bringing a woman of a different race around. It was something we were just all used to seeing.

Cheryl Lynn: The topic of interracial relationships wasn’t (and still isn’t) a topic that is discussed in my family. Still, I definitely got the impression that that there were interracial relationships that weren’t an issue and interracial relationships that were. Romantic relationships between blacks and Latinos were/are so common in my family and community that I often forget that they actually are interracial relationships. My family and friends have never frowned upon romantic relationships between blacks and whites…but it is a thing. It’s an elephant in the room.  I remember the raised eyebrows when I went to the prom with a white guy. It was the only time I dated a white guy and the only time I ever got those raised eyebrows. Once I brought home an ethnically/racially ambiguous Asian guy. My mom was really sweet, but as soon as he left asked, “What is he?”  I told her “He’s not white.”  And that was all the answer she needed.  But if you bring a white person home, there are little jokes, little looks. Nothing mean, but your relationship is marked as different. The one exception? If your significant other is gay. I guess there’s a minority requirement…but they don’t care what minority!

Andrea: My maternal family–especially my mom and aunts, who were the last two generations to see that “whites-only” sign racism in the US–let me know that it was not OK to get with the ofay. Other men of color were seen as “not quite” what the fam wanted to see me bring home to them. But my mom also said that, if she had her preference in seeing an interracial couple–like you, N’jaila, she thought of “interracial” as PoC and White pairings–she’d much rather see a Black woman with a White Man than a Black man with a White woman. In her mind, the Black woman is “getting hers.”

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