Mooc des communs : Forbidden Romance: Should Friends Date Your Sibling?

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I completely feel for you and the situation you are going through. I understand your frustration about the guy friend and your feeling that your girlfriend is not helping enough around the house. From the information you gave me, you work about 55ish hours? She works about 54ish hours? Is that correct? I think that is the first big issue. You both work too many hours. There are 168 hours in a week. If you minus sleeping time, (about 8 hours a night) that leaves you with 112 hours. Lets minus work time= 57 hours. Let’s account for an hour commute a day- to work, groceries, errands etc (time in the car)= 50 hours. Let’s deduct 3 hours a day to eat and prepare food (3 meals)=21 hours left. That leaves you about 3 hours a day give or take with free time… and that’s probably going to be eaten up easily with chores, spending time with your daughter, bills, tv or internet time etc…

The big thing is that you both don’t have margin in your life. Without that time for your relationship, time specifically set aside each day to be together, communicate, enjoy each other’s company, even just do nothing together, what do you really have but a life that’s all work and no play? With three hours left each day (give or take), is it no wonder that she wants to spend that time not cleaning house?

I know this is a crazy idea, but if there is any way you can downsize your life, lessen your monthly bills and rent/mortgage, pay down any debt you may have… so that you guys can free up time in your life to dedicate to your relationship, you will both be happier. I’m a big believer in the one income household, with the wife only having the option to work. Then she can be the queen of your home, raise your daughter, manage the affairs of your household. If you both love your jobs and cannot conceive of this kind of world, is there any way to reduce the amount of time you spend at work to devote to your family? How would she feel about these possibilities?

All I am saying is that the answer to your situation is not going to be easy. It’s going to take a drastic lifestyle change. why? Because you cannot create more time in a day. You cannot conjur up more energy than what your body has. You are both depleting your energies by allowing work to dominate your time.

In regards to the “guy friend:” I don’t believe it is wise for women in committed relationships to have these guy best friend types. There is always a flirtatious element in male and female friendships especially if both find the other attractive. There is nothing you can do about this. Nonetheless, as the man in the relationship who is affected by this close friendship, forcing her to stop texting this man or stop hanging out with this man will take away her freedom, and the natural response to having your liberties taken away is for you to number 1: rebel or number 2: desire more that which has been labeled as prohibited.

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