Mooc des communs : Great Last Minute Valentine’s Ideas To Show You (Don’t) Care

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My friends, Valentine’s Day is almost here! If you’re a truly vapid person, this is an excellent opportunity to put that on display. Here are some great Valentines date ideas:

1. Attend a 7 PM showing of the latest Nicholas Sparks movie “Safe Haven” (get tickets in advance since it’s opening night!), followed by dinner at The Olive Garden (don’t forget to make reservations!)

2. Go see “Blue Man Group” or any other long-running and way-overpriced theatrical spectacle. Take pictures with the Blue Men after the show!

3. Stay in and rent “The Notebook.” Wear heart boxers (him) and pink silk pajama pants (her). Kick roommates out of the living room and sprinkle rose petals on the wall-to-wall carpet.

4. Have dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. Show her how little you care.

5. Hand deliver edible arrangements to your crush and then feed them to each other in front of their co-workers. Their colleagues will think it’s SO sweet!

6. The week before Valentine’s Day, get matching tattoos of each other’s face; on Valentine’s Day, reveal them to all your friends. Ignore those idiots when they tell you it won’t last – after all, THEY have no idea how magical the last two weeks have been.

7. Both learn the lyrics to the song “Hey There Delilah” and then sing along to it at karaoke. People find this endearing and a true expression of authentic love.

8. Propose, ideally by hiding a ring in a disgustingly massive slice of Oreo cheesecake from the “restaurant”, the Cheesecake Factory.

9. Skype with your “boyfriend” in Germany and brag to your friends that you’re no catfish. (Never tell them how much money you send him every month.)

10. Marry your high school sweetheart before graduation. Just know in your heart that it’s right.

Bonus for Terrible Long Distance Couples: Guys, send your girl a Jane Seymour-designed “Open Heart” necklace that comes in a heart-shaped box. In case it doesn’t arrive in time, also send a personalized singing e-card. Maybe include a video proposal! Why not??

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