Mooc des communs : Safety First: How to Spot and Avoid Romance Scams

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[[https://bit.ly/3ODlgdx Rediscovering Love on My Own Terms]]
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What should really be mentioned at this point is that if your date (be they male or female) has issues like this, it is perfectly acceptable to take a reasonable look at the situation and conclude that it’s not something you can handle. I was lucky…my FwB had previous experience with teens/young adults who’d been abused, and a past girlfriend had been raped by a relative. He understood the difficulties in helping someone relearn that touch I= humiliation or pain. Personally, it took over 9 months of us being “together” before we could have sex. Now we’ve been FwB for over 8 years, so obviously it worked out for us.

BUT! If he hadn’t known how to do any of that and we simply remained normal friends, that would’ve been okay. It is nobody’s responsibility to fix anyone else, and no man or woman should be guilted into dating someone who needs to work on emotional issues, especially if these issues would drastically affect the potential relationship. It is fine to understand your own boundaries and abilities, and it is responsible to recognize that you may not be mentally or emotionally equipped to deal with such things.

Reply ↓
cecilhenry on January 10, 2015 at 7:41 PM said:
Don;t like to be touched is some kind of problem???

Not at all—except maybe for the one denied.

Being touched, like any physical intimacy is voluntary and based on a wish to have contact with someone else. It is discriminatory and selective—otherwise it can neither be moral or intimate.

One is only touched by something or someone they want contact with—that such a simple fact is missed says more about the one upset by this fact. Why are you afraid of boundaries???

Your wish to touch may be a means to hide other motivations by forcing emotional reactions.

Nothing to do with abuse (although that could be another cause, but ofter abused people lack boundaries).

I like to touch some people-depends now doesn;t it??? It would have to!!!!

The short-sightness and insularity of this article astounds. Stop and think this over again.

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